


Time

by poly_pr1nce



Series: Capri Sons [2]
Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gen, Graphic Description, M/M, Multi, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Non-Graphic Smut, Non-Graphic Violence, Other, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-07-05 02:31:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 59,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15854409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poly_pr1nce/pseuds/poly_pr1nce
Summary: Time passes, days to months to years, Nicaise starts college, and grows up a little bit while finding out more about himself





	1. June

School blurred into one long day, Nicaise skipping most of the classes he could afford to. It didn't matter anyway; he had already sat all his exams and results would be out during the holidays. He had tried to convince Laurent to let him drop the last fortnight of school but Laurent and Damen had both put their foot down; apparently they didn't want Nicaise "moping around" at home. So he got to "mope around" at school instead.  
Honestly, Nicaise didn't see why he even needed to stay at school for the last fortnight; he'd already gotten into college so his fate for the next year was already sealed.  
Skylar had tried to corner him a few times about bailing on her, but Nicaise had blanked her each time. The fact he had missed a week of school backed up his claim that he hadn't felt well. Technically it hadn't been a lie.  
After class ended early on the last day of term, Nicaise walked down to the bus stop with a few friends, mostly keeping his mouth shut. A few people had noticed he was acting "off", but he just brushed it off as being tired and bored. Which again wasn't a total lie.  
When he got off the bus, Skylar caught up with him.  
"Nuca."  
"Fuck off."  
Skylar stopped in front of him; Nicaise went around her.  
"What's the matter with you?"  
She stepped in front of him again and Nicaise shoved her shoulder as he went past her again. "So, what? Just cause you couldn't keep it up, you're ignoring me? Am I not enough for you anymore? You fucked me a couple times but were barely into it so you still had to go whore yourself out just to fe-"  
"Which part of fuck off do you not understand?" Nicaise snapped. "The fuck or the off? Cause last I checked, they're both quite simple."  
"Nicaise," Skylar screeched, grabbing his arm hard enough he could feel her fake nails digging into is skin.  
"What the fuck do you want?" he yelled.  
"I want you to bloody talk to me. You've been avoiding and blanking me for two whole fucking weeks. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"  
"Why do you think I give a rats cunt about how you feel?"  
They were both screaming and people were staring in the street. Some had even paused to watch them. Nicaise could see three people with their phones out, recording them. Who cared? Who really fucking cared?  
"Normally you're coming over to my place to fuck every weekend or inviting me over or we head over to G's place to get high and fuck. But you've been fucking ignoring me for a sodding fortnight and the last thing you fucking did with me was a couple quick shags and then you bailed. You ran out of there like your ass was on fire. And now you don't even talk to me?"  
Nicaise stared at her. What the actual fuck?  
"The bloody hell are you on about? Did you think I actually gave a fuck? You think I actually care how you feel?" He paused when he saw her face pale, and laughed. "Oh my God, you did. You actually thought I cared about you when we fucked? Skylar, you're the cheapest whore at school who's still at least nice to look at and not complete sloppy seconds. Or fifths, more like. Or actually I don't even know what number you're on. Do you?" She stared at him. "Yeah, I didn't think so. Skylar, we're not together. We never have been. We're not even real friends. You're just a whore with a sharp tongue and cheap mouth and you bash me at every fucking turn. And you're way too bloody clingy. There is nothing between us. Now get the fuck away from me and leave me the bloody hell alone."  
Nicaise tugged his arm from her loose grip, storming away down the street. He barely got two feet away before she grabbed his arm again.  
"I said fuck off!" Nicaise whirled, slapping Skylar hard enough she stumbled back a few steps. Glowering at her, he turned and stalked off, hoisting his backpack higher on his shoulder. People around him were whispering and quickly clearing away while a few idiots likely tried to comfort Skylar. Cunts.

When he got home the door had barely slammed before Nicaise was throwing his bag on the sofa and tugging at his tie and the buttons on his shirt as he stormed down to his room.  
"Watch the fucking door," Damen called.  
"Go fuck yourself," Nicaise shouted before slamming his bedroom door hard enough he thought he heard something crack. Oh well.  
Growling, Nicaise tugged his tie over his head along with his shirt, not caring if he ripped it anymore. It wasn't like he needed them now. His trousers got kicked off in tandem with his shoes. One landed on the floor the other ended up hitting the wall before bouncing onto the floor as Nicaise flopped onto his bed.  
Damen's footsteps started down the hall and Nicaise rolled over, turning on his record player and turning the volume up full. He rolled back over seconds before Damen pushed the door open.  
Whatever Damen said was drowned out by the music. Nicaise pointedly stared at the wall instead of acknowledging the oaf. After a few more wasted attempts, Damen left, pulling the door over behind himself. Nicaise sighed, closing his eyes and let himself disappear into the music.

...

"You know you broke the lock on your door, right?"  
Nicaise paused and looked over to where Laurent was standing at the edge of the pool. Other than the giant-ass penthouse they lived in, Nicaise's favourite thing about the building was the privet pool in the basement. It was at least forty square feet, not counting the walking areas and children's pool across the other side of the room. It went 15 feet deep and had three diving boards on different levels. Nicaise had made sure to soak the room as much as possible by diving off of each one a few times.  
"Blame the blonde bitch," Nicaise replied.  
"Which one? There's four," Laurent retorted.  
"The one who isn't part of the family," Nicaise muttered as he went back to doing laps.  
Laurent sighed.  
"What happened?"  
"She caught feelings."  
"People tend to do that," Laurent said dryly. Nicaise groaned, stopping his laps and floating instead.  
"But I told her from the start there'd be nothing between us. That I didn't want feelings. She said she was ok with it."  
"Not everyone can separate feelings from sex, Nuca. Especially girls."  
Nicaise rolled his eyes.  
"Yeah, you're an expert on girls."  
"Ask Damen then," Laurent said easily.  
Nicaise huffed.  
Laurent shrugged, sighing as he took in the state of the room.  
"Clean up in here once you're done," Laurent said. "And then tidy your room. You're on washing up duty tonight, too."  
Nicaise waited while Laurent left before he started up his laps again.


	2. August

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise's first day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for the usual strong language and Thirsty Nicaise

Nicaise stretched out in the metal chair. Technically it was cushioned but the material had worn so thin it may as well just be metal. Officially, the youngest someone could start college was 15, but since Nicaise's birthday was in less than two months Laurent had pulled a few strings and gotten the college to agree to him doing an induction year and then he would be able to choose a specific course to take next year. If he survived that long.  
Annoyingly, Skylar had gotten accepted to the same college, and the same induction classes without strings being pulled, since her birthday had been in February. Nicaise just hoped they had different schedules, but he knew his luck was never that good.  
They hadn't spoke in over a month. Skylar had came to the penthouse twice before Laurent told her to stop, since Nicaise clearly didn't want to see her. She had called over a hundred times and filled his voicemail up before Nicaise had gotten a new phone and number, trading them at the store. That had been a few weeks ago.  
Sighing, Nicaise tilted his head back and looked up at the tiled ceiling, squinting slightly at the spotlights. He had arrived a few minutes late, but the floor director had been talking to tutors in the hallway so Nicaise assumed he'd made it in time. There were still two empty seats; one next to him and one on the other side of the room. Nicaise half-considered putting his bag on the seat next to him to stop Skylar sitting there, but before he could, someone sat down next to him. "Fuck off, Sky," was on his tongue but the words got stuck in his throat when he looked over.   
Skinny grey marble-effect jeans, a cut-out vest with a dark blue zipper, caramel brown curls, sun-kissed skin and freckles. A glance down, and Nicaise saw Prickhead Gigantithon was wearing another pair of bases, this time with comic strips on them. When Nicaise looked up, he refused to look away when he saw the guy was looking at him with those forest green eyes and that Smirk.   
"Hey, Pastels," he said in that stupid voice.  
"Hey, Fucktard," Nicaise said. Instead of being offended or annoyed though, Prickhead laughed.  
"If that's the silver tongue Mike was on about, I'm disappointed. I was expecting more."  
Nicaise licked his teeth.   
"It gets sharper if you earn it," he muttered. Why did he sound so slow?  
"Yeah?" Prickhead leaned closer, close enough Nicaise could feel the heat from his breath when he spoke. "What do I have to do to earn it?"  
Nicaise gulped. "Piss me off," he said. It was meant to come out flippant, but his voice had caught and it came out sounding almost like a request. Or a dare.  
Prickhead smirked, and leaned in even closer.  
"Sounds like a challenge, Pinocchio," he whispered against Nicaise's jaw. Nicaise cursed himself when he shivered and made the guy grin. Those stupid braces were still there. Nicaise tried to focus on an image of the guy with food caught in the tracks, but couldn't focus on it with the smell of the guys minty shower gell surrounding him. Fuck.  
"You're in my seat."  
Frowning, Nicaise blinked out of his Prickhead-induced daze and looked to where Skylar was standing inches from the chair Prickhead was sitting in.   
The guy looked up cluelessly and Nicaise almost pitied him. Until he opened his mouth.  
"I didn't see a name on it, sweetheart. Or did you leave a note scrawled in sharpie on the bathroom wall telling me not to sit here? I must have missed it."   
Nicaise stared. That shouldn't be hot.  
Skylar glared.  
"He's my best friend. And if you know what's good for you, you'll move."  
Prickhead looked over at Nicaise as of just noticing him, and then back to Skylar.   
"Oh, you're the girl that made his hair look like a candyfloss monster puked on him! I'm the guy that got him majorly turned on for hours at the salon before he went and fucked you." He held out his hand. "So great to finally meet you."  
Skylar stared at his hand like it was a loaded gun. Finally, she looked at Nicaise. Nicaise barely even noticed. Most of his focus was on not getting helplessly hard again. What was it about this guy?  
"Nuca," Skylar said, tone clipped. "Tell him to fuck off."  
Nicaise glanced at her and then back to Prickhead. "Why?" he asked, forcing a noncholant tone. "Just because you're jealous? Again?" He stretched out again, suddenly thankful he had chosen one of his longer tees that went almost halfway down his thighs.   
"There's an empty seat over there, next to the guy with the surface of Mars for a face," Prickhead said, gesturing to the other side of the room. Nicaise snorted.  
Skylar sent them both a look that should have killed them on the spot, before stalking off across the room.   
Prickhead sighed dramatically as he got comfortable and looked back at Nicaise with that stupid cocky grin and those stupid braces.  
"You've got a really cute snort."  
Nicaise choked another one back, shaking his head.  
"Prickhead," he muttered. The guys grin got wider.  
"You on about yours or mine?"  
Nicaise grinned. Maybe college wouldn't be so hellish after all.

...

"Which classes are you taking?"  
"Math, English, Chemistry, Physics and Politics," Nicaise replied.   
"Fancy," Prickhead said. "I'm in Math, Biology, Anatomy and Physiology, Kitch and Health."  
Nicaise raised his eyebrows. "Kitch?"  
Prickhead shrugged. "It's all cooking and healthy eating and making food from scratch."  
"You wanting to get into nutrition or something?"  
"Almost," he laughed. And then; "I'm wanting into med school."  
"Actually?"  
"Yeah." Prickhead seemed almost embarrassed about it. "What about you, Pastels?"  
Nicaise shrugged, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the nickname. Somehow he knew it was there to stay.  
"I'm not sure. It kind of feels like I'm only doing college because Laurent expects me to."  
"Laurent?"  
"My brother," Nicaise supplied. "He and our oldest brother inherited the family business. Laurent wants me to have a good education so I can join it if I want to or go into a different field. But..."  
"But you don't know what you want to do," Prickhead finished and Nicaise nodded.  
They were silent for a few more seconds as they walked into the canteen. "You're in politics, math, chem and physics, Pastels. You're smart as fuck. Have you thought about anything else you're interested in?"  
Nicaise chewed his lip. He thought about the conversation he and Laurent had had after Laurent had pulled strings to get Nicaise in a year early. It had sounded a lot like this one.  
"I kind of like the idea of law," he said slowly, getting a sense of déja vù as he did. "That's why I'm doing politics, to see if I am actually interested in it. Chem, math and physics are just because they're easy."  
Prickhead had been nodding along slowly but stopped in his tracks and stared at Nicaise. "Did you just say math, chem and physics are easy?"  
"Yeah," Nicaise sighed. "I get that a lot."  
"No way," Prickhead said as they got their lunch and then waited in line to pay. "Just no way. Those are all gibberish. Wizardry. How the fuck can you say they're easy?" And then; "Are they easy cause you palm them off to one of your brothers?"  
Nicaise snorted. "Laurent's good at them but he hates them, and Gus... he's more business and benching orientated."  
They got a table and Nicaise put his tray down before reaching into his bag. "Want me to prove they're easy?" he asked and Prickhead raised an eyebrow.  
"You have to ask?" he said and Nicaise shrugged before taking out his notes for their math class which had been the first class of the day after induction. He slid the notebook over to Prickhead, smirking.  
The guy pulled it closer, squinting slightly at Nicaise's cursive scribbles before he stilled and actually read it. Nicaise had written bullet points for what the tutor had actually said, along with a few doodles and off-hand thoughts but had mostly filled the first three pages with equations, some of which had been part of the lesson as a "warm up" while others were ones he had made up to kill time while the tutor had been talking.  
"But - but you -" Prickhead looked up at Nicaise then back to the notes then back to his face before settling on the notes again. "But you didn't even look like you were paying attention," he finally spluttered. "You looked like you were daydreaming about fucking the bitch from induction or a nice plate of pizza and ice cream."  
Nicaise snorted so hard he choked on his water. "No way - how - how can you - how?" The guy looked completely lost.  
Smirking, Nicaise took his notebook back and slid it into his bag. "I'm more than just a pretty face, you know," he said.  
Prickhead smirked, but it was ruined by the clearly confused expression already on his face. He was looking at Nicaise like he was an equation, too.   
"Clearly," he murmured. Nicaise smiled to himself as he started eating. Prickhead was going to be fun.  
The sound of a tray smacking against the table jarred him from his thoughts - which had quickly been derailing from maths and tumbling towards Prickhead's mouth - and Nicaise looked over to see Skylar sitting down across from them.  
"Hello to you again, too," Prickhead said smoothly. Skylar smiled politely and him and Nicaise debated finding a bomb shelter.  
"I'll assume Nuca didn't mention it; I'm Skylar."  
"Ter," Prickhead replied. Skylar arched a brow.  
"Ter? As in 'Waiter, there's a ter-rible eye in me soup'?"  
Prickhead - 'Ter' - smiled even more politely back at her.  
"Oh, no. Ter as in 'I'll tear into you later.'"  
Laughter barked out of Nicaise before he could stop it and Skylar jumped slightly before glaring at him, polite smile mostly still in place as she looked back at Ter.  
"You should come hang out with us later," she said. "We're going over to our friend Georgie's place. It'll be fun."  
Ter shook his head. "I can't, I've got work. Maybe next time."  
Skylar blinked at him and then laughed. "You actually work? Are you serious?"   
"Yes, actually," Ter said. "Not all of us live off the banks of our parents."  
Skylar stared at him before flipping her gaze over to Nicaise.  
"Nuca."  
Nicaise shook his head. "Laurent wants me home early tonight," he said. He was looking at Skylar but had the impression Ter was smiling slightly as he started eating. Skylar glared at them both before walking off and leaving her tray on the table.  
"Bitch," Nicaise muttered. 


	3. September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise is a smart ass, he gets the hook-up he's been Thirsting for since the salon but things go downhill from there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for:  
> Underage sex (non graphic)  
> Underage hormones  
> Swearing  
> Panic attacks  
> Flashbacks  
> Derogatory names  
> Violence I guess

"This week will be spent studying and learning about titrations. Can anyone tell me what this term means?"  
Nicaise looked out the window, mindlessly chewing his lip while someone else answered. Skylar and Ter clearly hated each other - that much had been clear after the second day of college. But they both wanted to spend time with Nicaise, so they had to spend time with each other. They hadn't killed each other yet, so Nicaise took that as a win. The tutor - Nicaise had already learned and forgotten his name - scribbled something under the graphs he had drawn up on the whiteboard. God, they were so basic; Nicaise had already copied them down twice and redone them with a few ideas of his own.  
"Exactly. Now since this is such an exact science, we won't be doing any physical experiments until next week. Until then, I want you all to read up on these and give me eight hundred words on-," How much fucking longer would the old geezer rabbit on? Titrations were simple, but the man was making it sound like bloody rocket science. "-I want to know what you do in an experiment, why they are conducted and what the four main outcomes are. I want to see written formulas and equations and graphs in all your books; all your workings have to be recorded." Somehow there were still ten minutes left of this stupid class.  
Nicaise groaned quietly, going back to doodling trees and beehives in the margins.

...

Fifteen painful minutes later, Nicaise jogged down the stairs and slowed on his way down the corridor. Like the rest of the college, the walls were off-white and the floor was linoleum. Unlike the rest of the college, it went somewhere he actually wanted to go.  
Nicaise paused by the door, watching silently as Ter piled books on shelves, reorganising them while quietly singing to himself. He was just in another pair of grey skinny jeans and a band tee - honestly, who wore them? - but Nicaise couldn't stop looking.  
Apparently he had been looking hard enough the other guy had noticed. Ter turned around, smirk already in place.  
"So this is where you hide out while I'm dying in Chem," Nicaise said before Ter could say anything about the staring.  
"You discovered my secret," Ter said, slamming his palm against his chest. "However are you so smart, Nicky?"  
"Genetics," Nicaise said.  
Ter snorted.  
"What do you do in here anyway?" Nicaise asked as he walked into the room. There were 12 rows of shelves at least 7 feet high and 10 feet long. Each one of them was filled with books. The reception desk was along the opposite wall while a study area was at the back of the room.  
"This thing called working," Ter replied. "You may have heard of it."  
Nicaise frowned. "No, not got a scooby what you're on about."  
Ter sighed. "I'm not surprised."  
Nicaise perched himself on one of the steps of the ladder Ter had been about to climb on.  
"Why do you hide away in here, gathering dust, when you could be out having fun or at home asleep?"  
"Better to be here gathering dust than rotting away at home."  
By the expression on his face, Ter hadn't meant to say that out loud. Before Nicaise could ask, he heard the distinctive sound of Skylar's ridiculous shoes on the wooden floor of the library.  
"Nuca, come on," she whined. And then; "Hi Ter."  
"Skylar," Ter greeted her and Nicaise sighed.  
"What do you want?"  
Over the last fortnight, her skirts had gotten shorter and her tops had gotten lower while her hair had gotten brassier. She looked like a mess. But still a hot mess, by any standards.  
She pouted. "I want you to keep your promise, Nuca. Or do you not want to come over to mine now? Don't you wanna have fun?"  
Nicaise groaned.  
Ter looked between them before gesturing to Nicaise.  
"You may as well go with her," he said quietly. "I don't get off work for another two hours and you'll get bored milling around here for that long."  
Nicaise wanted to argue but he knew Ter was right.  
"You sure?" he asked anyway. Behind them, Skylar was clacking away on her phone screen again.  
"Yeah," Ter said, running his fingers through Nicaise's hair gently. "Go have fun, Pastels."  
Nicaise stood up and walked past Skylar.  
"Are we going or not?" he threw over his shoulder. Skylar slid her hand into his back pocket as they walked out the door, and Nicaise didn't have to look back to know Ter had seen. That was the point.

...

Skylar giggled as Nicaise blew smoke into the air above them.  
"How do you do that," she whined as they looked up as the perfectly formed rings of smoke disappearing above them.  
"Practice," Nicaise said. "I'm good with my mouth, what can I say."  
Skylar rolled her eyes. "Not that good," she muttered. Nicaise pouted at her around the cigarette and she huffed. "You were really sloppy at it the last few times I let you eat me out; don't act like you didn't notice. Actually," she decided before Nicaise could say anything, "you're a boy, of course you didn't notice."  
Nicaise rolled his eyes, taking another drag instead of replying. It wasn't like Skylar was wrong; it's just he had wanted something in his mouth rather than against it. But she would have a tantrum if he pointed that out.  
His phone chirped with a snap and Nicaise took it out, glad for the distraction.  
_"Hey, it's you!"_ was all the caption said and Nicaise smirked at the photo of a book cover with a pastel rainbow on it.  
In return, Nicaise took a snap of a tear in his jeans and sent it without a caption.  
Skylar was frowning at him when he looked up.  
"He doesn't actually give a shit about you, you know," she said. "He just wants in your pants but is too scared to admit it."  
Nicaise felt his smirk slipping.  
"So what," he said anyway. "Not like you give a shit about me either. Or any of the other people I fucked around with. Why do you think I expect him to be any different?"  
"Because none of the others made you look at a fucking snap like that."  
Nicaise frowned, but tried to reign his temper in.  
"Don't tell me you're fucking jealous," Nicaise muttered.  
"Of course I'm not," Skylar said. "Why would I be? He's not even that good looking."  
Nicaise scoffed. Skylar glared.  
"He's just some poor boy with a whore for a mum and his dad's probably sleeping with some girl from work. As for Ter, he probably has that library job as a cover for the fact he whores himself out to his mums friends-"  
"Shut the fuck up!"  
Nicaise didn't even realise he had shouted until Skylar stared at him, silent.  
"You don't know a bloody thing about him, Sky," Nicaise growled. "So don't even fucking try to take the high road. And you're a fucking whore - you wanna know why I even bother fucking with you? Cause you're the easiest whore who isn't crawling with STDs. Don't even fucking try giving him shit when you don't know the first thing about him."  
"Why the fuck are you defending him? Do you have some sort of proof he isn't a whore?"  
"Do you have some sort of proof he is?"  
Skylar's glare intensified and Nicaise gave up any hope of keeping his temper.  
"He's a cheap ass skank and I'll prove it-"  
"Cheap ass skank? Is that what you called me when I slept around every night? Is this how you talked about me with your friends when I was late to class with my uniform barely done up? Is it?"  
Skylar scoffed but wasn't fast enough to defend herself. Nicaise laughed but it was hollow.  
"Wow," he said. "Why am I not surprised?"  
"Nuca-"  
Nicaise's phone chirped and he opened the snap. It was a video of Ter trying to reach the top shelf but accidently knocking a shelf of books down and wincing.  
Nicaise smiled faintly, sending back a snap of the glass ashtray on the floor. _"You're gonna get yourself fired,"_ he typed and sent it.  
Skylar was glaring at him hard enough to flail the skin off his bones. He was immune to it; his own glare was much more lethal. Not as lethal as his puppy-dog eyes though.  
"Nuca I never-"  
"Go fuck yourself," Nicaise said as he ground his cigarette out and stood up.  
"You're meant to be fucking me tonight," Skylar whined.  
Nicaise headed for her door. "Oh well." He went down her hall, opening another snap.  
Ter was running out the door of the library and into the hallway, a stout woman with blonde hair behind him throwing a book after him as she yelled _"You're fired!"_ Nicaise assumed she was meant to sound angry but she was laughing too much.  
_"See you tomorrow, Carol!"_ Ter yelled over his shoulder. And then; _"Wanna grab some food, Pastels?"_  
Nicaise hit record as he started down Skylar's stairs. _"Sure - I'll get you at the chippy in twenty,"_ sending it before he even got to the main hallway.  
Skylar's screeching followed until he shut the front door behind him, walking quickly down the street towards the bus stop.  
Fifteen minutes later he got off the bus, crossing the street and jumping the wall instead of going down the stairs to the little indent where the chippy was. A pub was on one side, next to a Chinese and a betting house, with the chippy in the corner at the end.  
Ter was already standing outside, kicking the cement.  
"You took your time," he said when Nicaise got closer.  
"Did you run here or something?" he countered. Ter grinned and Nicaise tried to swallow past the sudden dryness in his mouth.  
"If I had I wouldn't be freezing my ass off," Ter said.  
"Looks in tact to me," Nicaise muttered before he could stop himself.  
Ter smirked and it was maybe the cockiest he had looked yet. That had to be a record somewhere.  
They headed into the chip shop, ordering quickly and settling around to wait. Ter leaned on the counter and Nicaise leaned back against the panel beside him, pulling his phone out as it chirped.  
_"You're missing out"_ was the caption on a snap from Skylar and Nicaise swiped past it before he had time to focus on what part of her body she had taken a picture of. Annoyingly the next one was one of her playing with herself. And the next one. Followed by a screenshot of a chat from a guy Nicaise used to fuck with. And then nudes from him that he had sent her. Then a full bo-  
Nicaise closed Snapchat, opening up his chat with Laurent instead.  
_"When are yous getting home?"_  
"Pastels," Ter said and Nicaise turned only to get a warm plastic bag shoved in his face.  
Nicaise grumbled but took the bag, putting his phone back in his pocket with the other hand. Ter took the other bag and they headed out.  
"Sorry, by the way."  
Nicaise frowned, looking over at Ter as they headed up the street.  
"For what?"  
"For taking you away from Sky tonight." When Nicaise frowned, Ter shrugged and gestured to Nicaise's pocket. "I saw some of the snaps she sent you." He almost looked ashamed.  
Nicaise shook his head firmly. "I was leaving her place anyway. We got into a fight."  
"How come?"  
"She was talking shit about you, I pulled her up on it, she spewed a load of bull and said shit she had no clue about." Nicaise shrugged. "She called you a whore, I called her a hypocrite, she called me a load of shit, just the usual stuff. But she went too far with one of the things she said. That's why I was leaving."  
Ter hesitated. "What do you mean by she's a hypocrite?"  
"She's easy as fuck," Nicaise said. "Sleeps around with almost any guy with legs."  
"Oh," Ter said and Nicaise hummed in agreement. "Did yous break up?"  
Nicaise frowned. "Break up?"  
"I mean, if you know she sleeps around then why keep dating her?"  
Nicaise almost choked on his own spit.  
"She's not my girlfriend," he said. "We just hook up. I don't really do relationships."  
Ter seemed to brighten up at that, and the subject moved on. Through some unspoken agreement they went to the penthouse.  
"You're home late," Jord said as Nicaise pushed through the revolving door.  
"They're out later," he countered and the guard shrugged.  
"Fair. This one with you?" He gestured to Ter who was coming in behind Nicaise.  
"Yeah, he's a friend."  
Jord nodded.  
"If Skylar comes over can you not let her up, please?" Nicaise asked and Jord nodded again.  
"Of course."  
"Thanks," Nicaise said before leading Ter over to the elevator and pressing for the top floor.  
"Does that guy always work here?" Ter asked and Nicaise nodded as he leant back against the handrail. Two walls were metal with the back wall a solid mirror and the doors were so shiney they may as well have been a mirror. The walls were glossy black as were the doors.  
"Normally he's on shift with Lazar. Pallas is the new guy, he only started a couple months back. There's others but those are the three Laurent and Damen get on with."  
"Damen?"  
"Laurent's husband," Nicaise said, watching for Ter's reaction.  
"How long have they been together?"  
"A couple years," Nicaise said, thinking. "Five or six by now."  
Ter hummed in acknowledgment and the doors opened. Nicaise led him up the too-polished hallway, unlocking the front door and turning the living room light on as he went in.  
When he put the take-out bag on the sofa and turned he saw Ter staring open-mouthed around the room. It was odd, seeing the place with new eyes, the way Ter probably was. The high white-and-grey marble-effect walls, the bookcases across the left wall opposite the floor-to-ceiling windows. All the little ornaments and photos and evidences of lives lived. The leather sofas and the oak furniture and the obnoxiously big TV. The floating stairs. The little novelty wave motif on the bathroom door which was sitting slightly open, it's plain glass handle glinting in the white light.  
Nicaise subtly kicked one of Laurent's books under the nearest sofa, along with a pair of boxers which were probably actually his.  
"Your brother actually owns this place?" Ter asked as he looked at the photos on the bookcases.  
"Yeah," Nicaise said. He took the plastic bag from Ter and headed towards the kitchen counter, letting the other boy wander around while he got cutlery.  
"Apparently his father had some massive Estate down south, but Auguste inherited it rather than Laurent. When their father died, Auguste sold it, and divided the money between them; half of it went into a trust fund that Laurent wouldn't be able to get his hands on until he was twenty-one, and the other half was theirs to do with as they pleased. Auguste put most of his towards keeping the family business running and only bought a master suite apartment downtown. Originally, Laurent was meant to go away to college and university and come back with a degree."  
Nicaise paused, trying to decide how to word the next part of the story. By the looks of it, Ter was only half paying attention anyway.  
"But then he got custody of me so had to find a good enough place. Damen had already inherited his father's money - they had another company - so decided to hand his family's company over to Auguste, and then gave that money to Laurent. They used some of it to buy this place, and then invested about half of whatever was left. Apparently it was a good decision, since Laurent and Damen now own part of the business and it's one large one instead of two big ones."  
Nicaise shrugged as he sat down, watching Ter pause by the windows. Outside, the night was a dark inky blue and the city lights looked like a little toy town.  
That was how Laurent had described it once, either the first or second time Nicaise had been over. And how Nicaise had thought of them ever since, really.  
"Anyway, that's what they do," Nicaise said quietly. "What about your family?"  
Ter's shoulders tensed slightly and he looked down, purposefully not looking at Nicaise's reflection in the windows as he had been seconds before.  
"My mum works in a bank," he said, "and my dad owns a garage. I don't really see my older sister anymore - she left a while ago and never looked back."  
"Cool," Nicaise said. "I mean unless you miss her, then it sucks. But your parents sound alright."  
Ter laughed slightly but it was humourless. Nicaise automatically paid more attention.  
"Let's just say you probably won't want to hang out at my place," he said lowly. "They're..." Ter trailed off and Nicaise frowned. It was another few seconds before Ter seemed to remember what he had been saying. "They're not that cool," he finished.  
Nicaise hummed, and turned on the TV in place of changing the subject. He knew a raw nerve when he saw one.  
Ter came over to the couch, sitting down and taking his takeout container from Nicaise's lap while the other boy flicked through the channels.  
"You said you're brother got custody of you - but who were you with before that? Cause you said their father rather than your father. Did you stay with your mum?"  
Nicaise took a mouthful of juice to give him an excuse not to answer for a few more seconds while he tried to think of what to say. It wasn't that he didn't trust Ter - it was just he couldn't talk about life before Laurent without having a panic attack. He got his phone out and swiped away Skylar's snaps as he spoke.  
"I lived with Laurent's uncle. He wasn't that great so Laurent got me. Technically he's my legal adoptive guardian but he's my brother first."  
Ter nodded and the subject changed as they settled on something to watch. Nicaise swiped off of a video of the guy - Justin? Jason? - fucking Skylar but not quick enough for Ter not to have heard it.  
The other boy glanced over but didn't ask, which Nicaise was guilty and grateful for at the same time.  
Laurent had replied half an hour ago - _"should be back around 1"._ Nicaise replied quickly and put his phone on the armrest.  
Hours passed, the conversation jumping from topic to topic and back again so easily Nicaise didn't even have to think about it. At some point their takeout containers moved from their laps to the floor to the kitchen.  
Nicaise didn't even notice how much time had passed until he heard the penthouse door open and two pairs of tripping footsteps came in.  
"You're up late," Laurent commented. Any sternness in his tone was canceled out by Damen wrapping his arms around Laurent's waist, chin on his head.  
Beside Nicaise, Ter had frozen on the couch.  
Laurent tilted his head slightly, noticing the boy behind Nicaise.  
"I'm guessing this is a friend from college?"  
"I'm Terence," Ter said. Nicaise frowned. He had never heard Ter's full name before. "I've got a few classes with Nicaise." His tone was formal - and tight - and - and so uncomfortable.  
Nicaise blinked, confused.  
Laurent and Damen either didn't notice or didn't acknowledge the awkwardness in the air, muttering their goodnights to Nicaise and telling them not to stay up too late before the pair went upstairs.  
Ter didn't say anything until the bedroom door had firmly shut above them. Then he got up from the couch, standing too straight.  
"I should probably be heading," he said. "My parents are probably wondering where I am."  
Nicaise shook his head, standing up and slightly blocking Ter's path.  
"It's one in the morning, Ter. No way are you going back out there now - do you have any idea the amount of creeps and drunks hanging around this place the now? Not to mention on the buses or trains and stations. You're better off staying here."  
Ter hesitated, chewing his lip. He glanced up at the second floor almost unconsciously and Nicaise narrowed his eyes.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Nothing." The way Ter said it made it obvious the answer was reflex. Defensive.  
"Is it because Laurent and Damen came home?" Nicaise asked.  
Ter automatically shook his head. "Of course not."  
"Are you homophobic?"  
Ter stared, blinked and then laughed. It was the type of laugh that said Nicaise had missed the punchline.  
"No, Nicky, I'm not homophobic."  
"Ter, you didn't see yourself. You got so fucking tense when they came in. And you keep looking up at their room the now. And you were totally relaxed but when they came in you got nervous and flighty. You're seriously trying to tell me it's not cause-"  
Ter grabbed Nicaise's hair and kissed him, shutting him up. Nicaise automatically opened his mouth, letting Ter lead. He didn't even notice the moan in his throat until Ter pulled away slightly and Nicaise let out a humiliatingly high sound.  
"Now do you believe I'm not homophobic?" Ter sounded like there was a laugh somewhere in his throat.  
"Maybe," Nicaise got out before he was kissing Ter again, deeper, faster, harder.  
Somehow they ended up back on the couch with Nicaise pinned on the cushions. But it wasn't enough.  
"Move," he got out before he was pulling Ter towards his bedroom. Laurent had gotten the broken door replaced with mini French doors, and Nicaise silently cursed the handles before managing to get them open and pushed Ter inside. Ter had him pinned against them in seconds.  
"Fuck," Nicaise muttered.  
"Already?" Ter murmured against his ear. "But it's only the first date. Then again you did get me dinner-"  
Nicaise pushed him against the nearest wall, kneeling as Ter groaned lowly when he realised what Nicaise wanted.  
"Fuck," he murmured.

  
...

  
Nicaise nuzzled against the heat beside him. His throat burned but there was no ache in his lower back, which was a nice relief. He stretched, groaning slightly and opening his eyes. When he looked up, Ter was already awake, watching him with heavy eyes.  
"You stretch like a cat," Ter said, voice cracking with sleep.  
Nicaise smiled sleepily, stretching again before getting comfortable against Ter.  
"Morning," he murmured and Ter kissed his forehead.  
"Morning."  
"What time is it?" Nicaise asked around a yawn. Ter shrugged, gesturing vaguely to the floor. "No idea- my phone's still in my jeans. I think you left yours on the sofa."  
Nicaise hummed, unbothered.  
They were silent for a few minutes just listening to the sounds of the city outside.  
"When did people start calling you Nuca?" Ter asked softly and Nicaise thought back.  
"First year. Laurent's always called me it, though."  
"You had a silver tongue even back then?"  
Nicaise smirked. "Yeah. Wait why?"  
"I'm just trying to decide if they started calling you it cause you'd blow them to smithereens or cause you'd literally blow up in their face."  
Nicaise snorted.  
"Asshat," he said. Ter smirked as he kissed along Nicaise's forehead and cheekbones.  
"Maybe next time," Ter murmured against his ear. Nicaise tried not to grin but he was too relaxed to fight it.  
They fell silent the again, and Nicaise was starting to fall back to sleep when Ter sat up.  
"What is it?" Nicaise asked.  
"What time do your brother and his husband get up?"  
Nicaise frowned. "Around nine-"  
"Fuck."  
Ter was out of the bed and tugging on his boxers and jeans before Nicaise could finish talking.  
Nicaise pushed himself up onto his elbows, frowning as Ter tugged his tee on at the same time as hopping to try to get his socks on.  
"You're actually leaving?" Nicaise's brain still hadn't woke up.  
"My shift starts at half nine, Nuca."  
Ter paused as he pulled his shoes on. He hurried back to the bed, kissed Nicaise quickly and then bolted out the doors.  
Nicaise heard him run up the hall, choke out a quick "Hi, sorry, bye," to whoever he saw and then the front door slammed. Somehow the penthouse seemed too quiet, even with the quiet sounds of Laurent making breakfast - it had to be Laurent, Damen normally whistled or hummed.  
Frowning, Nicaise tugged on some sweats and padded through to see if Laurent was making anything edible.  
"Your boyfriend already left?" Laurent asked in mock surprise. "Looks like you're not living up to your usual standards."  
When Nicaise didn't laugh or tell him to fuck off, Laurent turned around. "Your phone's on the sofa cushion." Nicaise made a non-committal sound in his throat and Laurent sighed. "What's wrong?"  
Nicaise told Laurent about Ter the night before, how he had gone from relaxed to formal,:nervous and clearly uncomfortable when Laurent and Damen had shown up, then kissed Nicaise when asked if he was homophobic.  
"Did he blow you?"  
"Yeah," Nicaise said. "Why?"  
"Some straight guys think they can hook up with other guys and it won't count as gay as long as they don't go down on the other guy."  
Nicaise tilted his head, thinking. That didn't make a lick of sense. Or it made perfect sense, he was just too tired to think of it.  
"He's not straight," Nicaise said. "He's definitely done stuff with guys before."  
"Sure it wasn't beginners luck?" Laurent asked and Nicaise shook his head.  
"A hundred percent."  
Laurent shrugged as he put two omelettes on a plate and picked up a mug of coffee.  
"Just ask him then."  
Nicaise groaned, ignoring Laurent's quiet laugh. He fetched his phone off the sofa, scrolling through the notes as he went back down the hall. Behind him, Laurent started up the stairs.  
_"Hey I had a great time last night, sorry I had to bail so soon I really wanted to stay longer"_  
Nicaise froze outside his bedroom, rereading the text three times before turning around and hurrying after Laurent.  
"What's that mean?" he asked, shoving his phone into Laurent's hand at the top of the stairs and almost making the man drop everything.  
Laurent sighed as he went into his and Damen's bedroom with Nicaise on his heels.  
"This ought to be fun," he muttered dryly.  
Nicaise climbed on the bed, ignoring Damen's grumbles.  
"I have a crisis," Nicaise whined. "Nothing about a crisis is fun."  
"Is this about the guy you were fucking with last night?" Damen asked from somewhere under the lump of duvet.  
"Yeah," Nicaise said.  
Damen sighed, emerging from under the duvet and sitting up, taking his plate and coffee from Laurent.  
"Alright," he said through a yawn. "What happened?"  
Nicaise repeated the story he had told Laurent. "And then he texted saying he'd had a good time and wanted to stay longer and he was sorry he left so quickly. What does that even mean?"  
"It means maybe you did live up to your usual standards," Laurent deadpanned. Nicaise threw one of the pillows at his head.  
"It means he likes you," Damen said as he finished his breakfast.  
Nicaise stared at him. "Likes me? Likes me likes me, or likes fucking me?"  
Damen stretched, wincing slightly when he cracked a joint in his neck. "Likes you as a person and probably likes fucking you."  
Nicaise frowned. "But what does that mean?"  
Damen and Laurent looked at each other but Nicaise couldn't decode the Look on their faces.  
"Did you text him back?" Damen asked.  
Nicaise shook his head. "I don't know what I'm meant to say."  
"That's a first," Laurent said as he padded off to their en suite.  
Damen smiled softly. "Tell him you had a good time too and ask if he made it to work on time."  
Typing out the reply, Nicaise threw his phone on the duvet and flopped down, sprawling out until he was starfished across the bed. Above him, he could feel Damen and Laurent having another one of their Looks which meant a silent conversation.  
Nicaise jumped when his phone chirped, but he frowned when he picked it up.  
"Don't expect dick pics already," Laurent said as he walked back into the room.  
"It's Skylar."  
Laurent scoffed and Nicaise flipped him off as he answered.  
"Surprised you're up this early," Nicaise said before Skylar could open her mouth.  
Skylar shrugged but Nicaise could tell it was taking a lot for her to keep her expression neutral.  
"Could say the same to you," she said. "Since when do you get up early when you don't have class?"  
"Oh was this meant to be my wake up call? Sorry, I'll go back to sleep and you can try it again."  
Out of the corner of hus eye Nicaise could see Laurent smirking. He ignored him.  
"How's Jason doing these days?" he asked instead. "Haven't seen him in a while."  
"He's fine," Skylar said. "How's trash boy?"  
Nicaise glared. "Go fuck yourself."  
"I would, but Jace already done that. You would've enjoyed last night - he's not bi but he would've fucked you too."  
Nicaise smiled sweetly at her.  
"You're right - he's gay. I wasn't meant to tell you but honestly fuck off."  
Skylar stared at him and then scoffed. Nicaise went to hang up but stopped when Skylar spoke again.  
"Is Ter coming out with us on Saturday?"  
"I'll ask him when I see him again later," Nicaise said.  
Skylar frowned. "What do you mean 'again'?"  
Nicaise tilted his neck to the side and moved the phone so Skylar could see the obvious marks on his neck and shoulder. "Who else did you think gave me these?"  
Skylar glared and then forced a shrug.  
"There's no point getting attached to him, Nuca."  
"I'm not," Nicaise said. And then; "Wait, why?"  
"I saw him flirting with that blonde girl from your math class," she said. "He was playing with her hair and touching her and everything. He's bi - no way will he be loyal to you."  
Now it was Nicaise's turn to force a shrug and unimpressed expression.  
"Biased much?"  
"I'm just saying don't get attached because she blew him off - you were just rebound sex," Skylar said and then she hung up.  
Nicaise laughed as he threw his phone back on the bed, but it sounded hollow even to his ears.  
Damen sighed but Nicaise shook his head, fending off another one of Damen's "self acceptance" speeches.  
"Does Skylar know where Ter works?" Laurent asked.  
"Yeah, why?"  
"You're probably going to want to get to him before she does," Laurent said.  
Nicaise shook his head.  
"She hates the library," he said. "She only went there because she knew I'd be there."  
"She's jealous as fuck of him, Nuca," Laurent said as he pulled his shirt on.  
"No way," Nicaise said. "She knows there's nothing-"  
"She's a girl," Laurent cut in as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed while Damen done his tie for him. "And she's jealous. Get your ass down to the library before she does."  
Nicaise groaned but got off their bed and went back to his room to get dressed.  
He checked his phone on the way out of the apartment. Ter had replied with a smirky emoji and the one with its tongue out. Nicaise swore as he got into the elevator.

By the time he got to the college he was jogging, trying not to break into a full blown run. He hurried through the building and down the stairs to the library, pushing the door open and running over to the desk, grabbing hold of it as he looked up at Ter.  
"What are you?" Had he actually been running so fast he was out of breath? Shit.  
"Human?"  
Nicaise shook his head. "Gay, bi, pan, straight, ace, what?" He didn't really sound that desperate, did he?  
Ter sighed, putting down the pile of books he had been going through.  
"I'm pan and aro," he said.  
Nicaise let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding.  
Ter raised an eyebrow. "Now do you wanna tell me why you came bursting into my library demanding to know my sexuality?"  
Nicaise ducked his head. "It's dumb."  
"Wait," Ter said. "You're OK that it was casual, right?"  
Nicaise looked up. "Huh?"  
"I'm aromantic, Nicky - I don't- can't- don't do relationships. I thought you'd be alright with casual sex - and I mean you'd said you and Sky weren't dating just fucking so I thought-"  
"Ter, slow down," Nicaise said. "I'm ok with it being casual sex - I can't do relationships either. Just for different reasons."  
Ter sighed. "That's good - you had me worried for a minute there, Nicky."  
"Skylar said she saw you flirting with a blonde girl from math and that she blew you off so Sky said I was just rebound sex-"  
Ter shook his head and cut Nicaise off. "The pretty blonde? She's my cousin, Nicky."  
Nicaise blinked. "What?"  
"She's my cousin - she wanted a guy who was hitting on her to quit so I pretended to flirt with her, then when he fucked off she left. There's nothing going on there."  
Nicaise nodded. Thank fuck.  
"And even if I had been flirting and she had blown me off," Ter said with a smirk, "You wouldn't have been rebound sex."  
Before Nicaise could say anything, Ter tugged him closer to the desk and kissed him. Nicaise moaned, but Ter broke it off before Nicaise could deepen it.  
"No fair," he muttered as Ter ran his fingers over Nicaise's lips. "So are you a one-night-only deal or do I get more?" Nicaise asked around the guy's fingers.  
Ter hummed, pretending to think.  
"You're paying for takeout this time," he said.  
Nicaise huffed. "Fine."  
Ter grinned and pulled him in for another kiss, pushing him away too soon.  
"Now on your bike before you get me fired."  
"Didn't you get fired yesterday?"  
"I get fired every day," Ter said, before shooing Nicaise away from the desk.  
As Nicaise walked out the door and back up the hallway to the stairs he couldn't stop grinning. He knew he wasn't just rebound sex.  
On his way out the building he noticed Skylar and quickly ducked out of sight before she could notice him. Fuck her messing up his good mood. He went out the side door, getting his phone out and texting Ter. _"What time do you get off?"_ When he didn't get a reply in under a minute Nicaise put his phone back in his pocket. It was almost mid September and it was starting to get cold, but not freezing yet. Nicaise tucked his hands into his pockets as he walked slowly along the street all the way back to the penthouse.  
Ter still hadn't answered by the time he got to his room so he put his phone on the counter before turning his record player up loud and turning his shower on.

Two hours later and there was still no reply. Frowning, Nicaise pulled up Laurent's chat, texting him to call soon before grabbing one of his smoothies and heading over to the couch. His phone rang five minutes later and Nicaise picked up before the end of the first ring.  
"What's wrong?"  
"How long is a normal shift at a library?"  
Laurent was silent for a beat and Nicaise knew he was smirking when he answered.  
"Four to six hours. Why?"  
"I texted Ter just after I left the library earlier but he still hasn't answered."  
"When was that?"  
"Almost three hours ago." Give or take.  
"Give him another half hour then text again."  
"Alright," Nicaise said. He hung up and threw his phone down on the cushion next to him. Laurent was probably right.  
His phone rang again and he picked up. "What?"  
"Did you see Skylar at the library?" Laurent asked.  
"I saw her walking into the main building when I was heading out. She didn't notice me though."  
Laurent paused but it felt heavier. Or messy.  
"Text her and ask how class is."  
"Why?"  
"To prove me wrong. I'll call back later when I can." Laurent hung up and Nicaise frowned but obediently texted Skylar. She replied within thirty seconds.  
_"It's fine - suddenly grow a heart?"_  
_"Nope just bored"_  
_"Why not go fuck your boyfriend that'll cure you for a lil while"_  
_"He's not my boyfriend"_  
_"Fucktoy"_  
Nicaise groaned. _"He's at work anyway I can't fuck him he said no fucking on the desk"_  
_"Too bad - it looked pretty smooth when I went down to see him"_  
Nicaise bristled.  
_"You actually went in the library of your own accord?"_  
Nicaise didn't bother waiting for a reply. He pulled up Laurent's chat, typed out a quick "point taken" and threw his phone onto the cushion.  
Laurent called but Nicaise ignored it. He turned his phone off when Skylar messaged.  
Groaning, he got up and paced around the room a few times before grabbing his phone and jacket, barely remembering to lock the door behind himself as he hurried out into the corridor.

When he walked into the library he ignored the few people in there, instead scanning up and down the aisles until he saw Ter.  
"Hey," he said. Ter jumped slightly, turning to look at him.  
"What are you doing here?"  
Nicaise frowned. That wasn't what he'd been expecting.  
"I got bored."  
"So you decided to come annoy me?"  
"What?" Nicaise asked. "No I-"  
"You what? Decided to come hang out here instead of getting drunk or high? I'm flattered."  
"What the fuck crawled up your ass?" Nicaise didn't care that his voice was getting louder. "I just came here cause I passed the fucking college and thought I'd check what time you're bloody getting off at-"  
Ter laughed but it was dry and forced. "That's why you're here? Because I didn't answer your fucking text?"  
Nicaise stared as the older boy kept talking. "You know, I thought you'd be chill with no-strings-attached, I really did. And you said you wouldn't get feelings or at least that's how it sounded to me. But now you're actually fucking checking up on me just cause I didn't fucking reply to you? What's next - a chain round both our necks with initials on them? Dogtags saying ' _return to sender_ '?"  
"Ter-"  
"I should've fucking known - you didn't see yourself last night, Nicaise. Apparently you were too fucking gone to control that mouth of yours after a couple rounds since you kept saying how much you 'loved' everything I did to you, how you 'needed' it so bloody much. That should've been my first fucking clue."  
"Ter I didn't-"  
Nicaise didn't get to finish his sentence as Ter grabbed his neck and hauled him closer. A second later Nicaise was pinned against the wall with Ter's entire body pressed up against his, mouth centimetres away as he growled into Nicaise's face.  
"I only fucked you to get you to shut the fuck up about me being homophobic - not cause I actually wanted to bang you." He grabbed Nicaise's jaw and just like that Nicaise was in two places at once, but one place had a much bigger body with stronger hands and a deeper growl.  
"I'm only going to say this once, so listen up you fucking faggot. I don't want anything to do with you and I don't want to be fucking friends with benefits- so stay the fuck away from me or I'll fuck you up hard enough you won't be able to breathe."  
Nicaise felt sick. His stomach was already tightening and dropping. This wasn't fucking happening.  
Ter let him go and Nicaise stumbled away.  
"Get the fuck out of here before I decide to teach you a lesson in front of everyone."  
He hurried out the library but still didn't know whether it had been Ter or - or Richard who had spoken. He didn't really care.  
He got outside and stumbled along the street, trying to hurry up - no way could he have a full panic attack in public but he couldn't hold it off until he got back to the penthouse either. Fuck fuck fuck. He could still feel hands on his chin, his jaw, his waist-  
Nicaise ducked into an alley and leaned against the wall, trying to breathe. He knew he wasn't going to be sick, at least. His mouth was bone dry.  
Gagging, Nicaise quickly called Laurent. Was he meant or call Laurent or was Laurent meant to have called him? Nicaise didn't know.  
"Nicaise?"  
"I can't breathe." He could barely get the words out.  
Laurent's voice was calm when he answered and Nicaise tried to follow the breathing exercises. He tilted his forehead against the wall, trying to focus on the feeling of the brick against his skin-  
_**Richard slammed Nicaise's forehead into the brick wall again, snarling in his ear, hands running all over him, sticky with dried blood-**_  
"Nicaise!"  
Nicaise yelped. It was instinctual. A second later he remembered where he was, and that it was Laurent's voice. Not Richard's.  
"Nicaise." Laurent's voice was softer again and Nicaise realised he still had his phone up to his ear.  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Nicaise hiccuped, his entire body shaking. Something warm was on his legs-  
Nicaise almost retched. He hadn't wet himself from a panic attack in years - not counting when he had been drunk and ruined his hair and Nikandros' night before he had gotten sent off a few months ago.  
"Nicaise, I really need you to brea-"  
Nicaise hung up, hand firmly clamped over his mouth, eyes squeezed shut. This couldn't be happening.  
A few minutes later Nicaise hurried out if the alleyway, jacket tied snuggly around his waist. He jumped slightly when his phone rang - Skylar.  
Nicaise gulped, and threw his phone into the road, hurrying away before he could think twice about it. A bus whizzed past a minute later and Nicaise stopped thinking about his phone.

"Nuca?"  
Nicaise looked up, blinking. He couldn't tell if he was still crying or if it was just water from the shower.  
Laurent knocked gently on the wet room door again and Nicaise sniffed.  
"Fuck off."  
"You've been in there way too long, Nuca," Laurent said softly. "Old Bart downstairs said he's heard the shower for the last hour - and two hours earlier. Come on."  
Nicaise rubbed at his eyes. Fuck.  
Snuffling, he stood up from being curled up in a ball and shakily turned the shower off. When he went through to his room Laurent had laid a really warm fluffy towel on the bed along eith a onesie and Nicaise smiled weakly, drying off and pulling the onesie on.  
Laurent walked out of the kitchen as Nicaise got to the top of the hall. Instead of saying anything he just held out a bowl of hot chocolate fudge cake with ice cream. Nicaise took the bowl and a spoon before making his way over to the couch. Laurent sat down on the opposite side and Nicaise curled up again. Neither of them said anything while they ate.  
Laurent didn't ask what had happened. Nicaise tried to wait him out but only lasted two minutes after finishing his cake.  
"Did you call after I hung up?"  
"Yes," Laurent said quietly. "So did Damen, Auguste, and Jokaste."  
"Why Jokaste?"  
"Because she asked why the three of us looked so panicked and why we were trying to divide our meetings up between us so that one of us could come find you as soon as possible. All she could get out of me was that you were really upset and needed one of us as soon as possible. She called because she had a free schedule until this evening and was trying to find out if you would be comfortable with her coming over to help you." Laurent paused, licking melted chocolate off of his lips. "She called five times before I left, and Damen texted she kept calling for another ten minutes after that because she was worried something had happened to you."  
Nicaise ducked his head.  
"Fuck."  
"After about ten calls I assumed you had turned your phone off."  
"Not exactly," Nicaise said. Laurent raised an eyebrow and Nicaise chewed his lip. "I threw it into traffic."  
Laurent's face was unreadable. "Why?"  
"Sky called. I just... I couldn't deal with her then. Not after Ter."  
Laurent tilted his head.  
"What do you mean?"  
Nicaise sighed, trying to think of how to start.  
"When I went down this morning he said he's pan aro and we agreed to be friends with benefits and he said we could meet up later- I left and texted him asking when he finishes today, then came back here. He still hadn't answered so I went for a shower and killed time then got lunch and texted you cause he still hadn't answered. Then I texted Sky like you said and she said she had been at the library but went silent when I asked her why, so I went down to ask if she had pissed him off or something. But when I got there he was like a totally different person, clearly didn't want to see me, told me he only fooled around with me last night to get me to shut up, and said I had to fuck off else he was gonna hurt me. But he pinned me against the wall and all I could see was - was Richard - and then I left and the panic attack was already starting but I knew I couldn't have it in the street but I wasn't gonna make it back here in time so I went down an alley and phoned you."  
Laurent was silent for a few seconds as he absorbed everything Nicaise had said.  
"You were starting to calm down on the phone - what set you off again?"  
Nicaise bit his cheek.  
"I rested my head against the wall and it reminded me of - of something with him."  
Laurent nodded, and Nicaise knew he wasn't going to push for details. He never did unless it was crucial.  
"Then what? You kept apologising but cut yourself off a few seconds before hanging up."  
Nicaise gulped, blushing and looking down. "It's humiliating."  
Laurent didn't miss a beat. "We can burn your clothes again if you still think that helps."  
When Nicaise had been getting regular panic attacks that made him wet himself the two of them had started burning the wet clothes rather than just washing them or throwing them out. It felt refreshing in a strange way to know they didn't exist anymore.  
Nicaise nodded and Laurent hummed in acknowledgement.  
"After when I was back out on the street, Sky called and I just couldn't- just couldn't."  
"So you decided to be dramatic and literally throw your phone into oncoming traffic instead of turning it off."  
Nicaise shrugged weakly and Laurent sighed. "Jo can get you a new one by the morning."  
"Thanks," Nicaise murmured. He didn't need to say the rest - they both knew he meant a lot more than just 'thanks for getting me a new phone after I literally trashed the last new one'. He meant thanks for everything Laurent had done for him. And everything he would keep doing for as long as Nicaise needed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:  
> Silent Scream - Anna Blue  
> Panic Chord - Gabrielle Aplin  
> To my parents - Anna Clendening


	4. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise gets a few birthday surprises; good or bad, he isn't sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for:  
> Underage sex (non graphic)  
> Swearing  
> Abuse   
> Violence (graphic description)  
> Child rape (memory / description)  
> Blood   
> Violence (uhm described crime scene photos that idk how to tag)  
> Lots of pain

Nicaise frowned at his phone. He reread the message four times. It still didn't change.  
He hadn't spoken to Ter in almost a month. In every class they had together Nicaise made sure to either sit with Skylar or in an empty seat next to or between someone else. He'd barely even seen Ter.   
Laurent had kept his word, and Jokaste had arrived at six in the morning with his new phone. When Nicaise had thanked her she'd hugged him close and had told him not to scare her like that again. Since then Nicaise hadn't put Ter's number into the new phone or actively looked him up online. Ter had occasionally looked like he was going to come over to sit with Nicaise but each time Skylar had appeared and the older boy had walked off. Each time, Skylar had looked smug with herself. Nicaise hadn't really noticed at first but the pattern was too obvious to pass up; there was also the fact he'd seen Skylar talking to Ter and it had looked almost like an argument each time Nicaise had seen them. He wasn't naive enough to think Ter was talking shit while Skylar defended Nicaise - a snowball was more likely to rule over Hell before that happened.  
Nicaise groaned, turning his screen off only to turn it back on and swipe to the same message five seconds later.  
 _"I'm sorry. She made me do it. I wish I could explain. I miss you."_  
Nicaise dropped his phone onto the bed between his legs, running his fingers through his hair and lacing them at the back if his neck.  
What the fuck did that even mean? And why the fuck was Ter messaging him now? After what he'd fucking said to Nicaise in the library - and the flashbacks and panic attack that had followed. He'd put Nicaise through all of that and basically ignored him for a month - then messaged out if the blue saying he was sorry?  
Nicaise flopped backwards in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. What the fuck was he meant to say to that at 5am?  
He felt himself pick his phone up and type out a reply, before throwing his phone back on the duvet.  
 _"Do you have work this morning?"_  
Ter replied within a minute.  
 _"No just class at 10"_  
 _"Meet me outside the chippy at 6"_  
Nicaise only waited long enough to read the _"Ok"_ Ter sent in response before he bolted for his wardrobe, pulling on the first pair of skinny jeans he could find. It was mid October so he tugged on a long sleeved top under a hoodie as he grabbed his phone and keys. Checking his wallet was still in his front pocket he grabbed his shoes, walking out of the penthouse in his socks, quietly locking the door before pulling his shoes on and hurrying to the elevator.  
"Nicaise."  
Nicaise paused, looking over to Jord in the foyer. "Yes?"  
"Since when are you out this early?"  
"I'm meeting someone and they start work early." Nicaise didn't wait for Jord to ask another question, hurrying out the swivel door and down the street. The buses weren't on this early, so he jogged down to the subway. There were a few homeless people so Nicaise kept his hands firmly hidden in his pockets and his hood up.  
Half an hour later Nicaise walked down the steps to the indent where the chippy was, leaning against the wall to wait.   
Ter showed up five minutes later, walking down the incline opposite the stairs.  
"Nicky," he said. Somehow he sounded surprised as if he'd expected Nicaise to bail.  
"What the fuck?" Nicaise asked in place of a greeting.   
Ter sighed, stopping about two feet from Nicaise and leaning against the wall next to him. "You tell me to fuck off, ignore me for a month then tell me you miss me? What the bloody hell kind of sense is that?"  
Ter ducked his head. "I really am sorry-"  
"I don't give a fuck if you're sorry," Nicaise cut in. "Just tell me what the fuck is going on."  
He watched as Ter tilted his head back against the wall, swallowed hard enough his Adam's apple bobbed.   
"After you left the library in the morning, Sky came in."  
Nicaise felt his stomach churn but didn't interrupt as the other boy continued. "She said that if I didn't back off from you then she - she would tell you something about me that I really don't want you to know."  
"You don't want me to know but you told Sky?" That stung  
"No," Ter said. "I don't know how she found out about it, I really don't. That's why it freaked me out so much I guess - it's not exactly something I'd put in the paper."  
Nicaise rubbed his hands over his face.  
"So that's why you were an ass in the library? And why you've been ignoring me?"  
"Yeah," Ter sighed. They were both silent for a minute until Ter turned his head to look at Nicaise. "We good?"  
Nicaise shrugged. "For the most part." He smirked. "But you're telling me Sky made me miss out on a months worth of hook ups  cause she got jealous?"  
Ter moved closer. "Looks like there's plenty to make up for."  
"Thought you said you had class today," Nicaise countered as Ter stopped against him, breath hot on Nicaise's cold face.  
"Missing one day of classes won't kill me," he murmured.  
Nicaise kissed him before he could grin.

  
...

  
When Nicaise let Ter push him through the penthouse door and down the hall to his room, Laurent and Damen were already up.  
"Thought you two had fell out," Laurent said. Nicaise barely glanced in the direction his voice had came from while walking backwards and trying not to walk into walls.  
"We did."  
"Sure bout that?" Laurent countered and Nicaise groaned quietly when Ter tugged his hair.  
"Long story." Nicaise didn't give Laurent a chance to say anything else as Ter pushed him into his room, quickly shutting the door behind them.  
Ter pushed him onto the bed and Nicaise grinned up at him.  
"You're cute when you grin," Ter said as he stood over the shorter boy.  
"You're a tease when you're horny," Nicaise said.  
"And you're a wreck," Ter said as he pinned Nicaise's wrists above his head.  
"You've not seen me wrecked yet," he heard himself murmur right before Ter kissed him again.

...

Three hours later, they were both sitting on Nicaise's bed with a chocolate desert each.  
"Buttons trump chunks," Nicaise declared around a mouthful.  
"But flakes trump buttons," Ter replied around his spoon.  
Nicaise hummed in agreement. "Popping freddos trump flakes."  
"Popping freddos trump everything except stars," Ter said.  
"They really should do a stars one," Nicaise murmured. "That would be awesome."  
Ter nodded, taking another mouthful of his desert.   
"That needs to be a thing."  
They were silent again as they finished eating but then Ter smirked at Nicaise.  
"Who the fuck is Terry?"  
Nicaise shrugged and raised an eyebrow. "He must be the one fucking whoever the hell Nico is."  
"Ah," Ter said as he moved to take the empty pot from Nicaise and put them both on the floor. "That must be who he is," he whispered right before he tugged Nicaise close again.

...

Nicaise screamed.  
Ter laughed, knees on either side of Nicaise's waist, somehow dodging Nicaise's flailing kicks. Tears were streaming down the shorter boy's  face and he couldn't breathe   
"All you have to do is say one lil word and I'll stop," Ter taunted as his fingers moved from Nicaise's ribs to his sides and Nicaise howled. He could barely get a syllable out nevermind a whole word.  
"What was that?" Ter asked as he caught Nicaise's wrists, stopping the smaller boy from hitting him. "I still don't hear a word. Oh well." He quickly slid his hands up Nicaise's arms and Nicaise screeched.  
He was vaguely aware of his door opening and Laurent's voice, before Ter replied, "Tickle war. Loser has to do the others homework for a week - so far I'm winning."  
There was a beat of near silence before the door shut and Ter resumed tickling under Nicaise's arms and Nicaise started screeching again.   
"Keyes," Nicaise gasped an eternity later. "Keyes, keyes, keyes."  
Ter grinned as he sat back in his haunches, looking down at a writhing and gasping Nicaise.   
"If this is what you look like getting tickled, I really wanna know you look freshly fucked."  
Nicaise gulped loudly, waving Ter's comment away.   
Ter laughed gleefully but moved to let Nicaise roll over, handing him his half-finished juice.   
"Once I get my breath back, you're so fucked," Nicaise wheezed.   
Ter arched a brow at him. How did it make him look so cocky? "Last I checked, you're the one who wanted fucked."  
Nicaise choked on his juice and Ter grinned.  
"That's not fair," Nicaise murmured as Ter crawled back on top of him.  
"Fair and square," Ter whispered against Nicaise's jaw. Nicaise stopped arguing.

....

Someone knocked on the door and Nicaise yawned.   
"It's open," Ter said, voice slightly muffled from Nicaise's stomach which he was using as a pillow.  
Laurent pushed one of Nicaise's doors open, raising an eyebrow but not commenting on the state the two boys were in.  
"Food's ready - you two really need to eat otherwise one of you will end up puking or passing out."  
Nicaise yawned again and Laurent tilted his head slightly as if to say "my point exactly."  
Ter nodded heavily against Nicaise's stomach. "Alright."  
Laurent stepped back and pulled the door over but didn't close it.   
Nicaise groaned but let Ter pull him until they were both sitting up. Ter pulled his jeans back on while Nicaise tugged on sweats and a giant hoodie which had probably been Damen's once upon a time.   
They headed through, grabbing plates and helping themselves to the omelettes and salad Laurent had made. Nicaise looked over to where Laurent was standing at the glass wall, seemingly glaring at the skyline.   
"No, what are you on about? That meeting was supposed to be next Thursday." His glare moved to the traffic and Nicaise elbowed Ter before moving to sit on the sofa. Laurent's business drama was always better than a movie.  
Ter stiffened slightly but sat next to Nicaise.   
"No, Gus, listen - I don't care what she said, she wrote it wrong. It was meant to be next Thursday. Yes, I'm sure I'm sure."  
Ter was getting tenser with every harsh syllable out of Laurent's mouth. Nicaise tilted his head.  
"You really don't like adults, huh?"  
Ter started, looking over with slightly wide eyes and Nicaise shrugged. "You get tense whenever there's one in the room - even in class you avoid the teachers who sound more adulty."  
Ter shrugged. "I guess."  
Nicaise hummed and went back to eating.   
Laurent sighed, hanging up and resting his forehead against the glass. "Fuck."  
"What is it?" Nicaise asked.  
"The receptionist scheduled one of my meetings for today when it was supposed to be next week  - but apparently rescheduling it will be too much hassle." Laurent was still looking out the windows.  
"Who's it with?"  
"Torveld."  
Nicaise cackled. "Better get a move on then," he said.  
Laurent groaned, turning and leaning back against the glass. He looked between Nicaise and Ter, before sighing.  
"You two gonna be ok here for a couple hours?"  
"Yeah," Nicaise said as he took another bite of omelette. "We'll be fine." He smirked at Ter and Laurent rolled his eyes but went up the stairs.   
Ter lightly kicked Nicaise's ribs. "You really think you can go another round?"  
"Easily," Nicaise said as he put his empty plate on the floor and moved onto Ter's lap.  
Ter hummed as he moved his plate onto the arm of the sofa. "Positive? You seemed pretty worn out after that last one."   
"Guess you'll just have to find out," Nicaise said, before stealing the last part of Ter's omelette.  
"You'll pay for that," Ter murmured against Nicaise's neck.  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yeah."  
Nicaise was faintly aware of Laurent coming back down the stairs, in shoes rather than his socks.  
"No sex on the table," he said and Nicaise looked over. Laurent had changed from a tshirt and jeans into one of his suits but was still fixing the jacket as he walked down the hall to the door.  
"And don't break anything."  
"No promises," Nicaise laughed. Laurent shut the door behind himself and Nicaise pushed Ter down on the sofa.

...

"Nico?"  
Nicaise blinked blearily, looking up.   
"Hmm?"  
Terry kissed his forehead, mouthing down his temple and around his ear, nipping lightly. "Happy birthday," he whispered, hot breath tickling Nicaise's hair.

...

 ** _Click. Click. Click_**.  
Nicaise frowned, rolling onto his side. When he opened his eyes, Laurent was standing against the kitchen island, a cup of tea in his hands.  
 ** _Click. Click_**.  
"I don't even get a long lie on my birthday?" Nicaise muttered, rolling onto his back. "And why am I on the couch?"  
"Funny," Laurent said, still tapping his fingers on the side of  mug. "I was about to ask you the same thing."  
Nicaise groaned.   
They were both silent until Laurent sighed and walked over, holding the cup of tea out. Nicaise sighed, sitting up and frowning at the blanket on him. "When -?"  
"The two of you were passed out on the sofa when I got back around seven. Yous didn't wake up the whole evening but Ter started waking up around ten. He got some food, and I went up to bed. I heard him talking around midnight so assumed you had woken up. When I came down at half five he was gone, and you were out cold."  
"What time's it now?"  
"Almost one."  
Nicaise groaned again. "Do I get a birthday brunch?"  
"Reservation's at half two."  
"Finally something good," Nicaise said around a yawn.  
"Don't make me take that tea back."  
Nicaise flipped Laurent off and the man rolled his eyes, sitting on the arm of the sofa at Nicaise's head.   
"Are you two good again or is there gonna be another panic attack?"  
"We're good," Nicaise said. "Really good."  
"Alright," Laurent said. "Did he explain why he fucked you up before?"  
Nicaise felt himself smirk.   
"Yeah," he said. "He did. Apparently Sky's got some dirt on him so told him to fuck off else she would tell me."  
"Must be some pretty thick dirt."  
"Must be," Nicaise agreed.   
"Did he tell you what it was?"  
"No. And I didn't ask." Laurent raised an eyebrow and Nicaise shrugged. "Everyone's got secrets."

...

"We have a reservation for two thirty."  
The hostess checked the computer. "What's the name?"  
"DeVere."  
The woman nodded as she clicked something and picked up four menus. "Right this way, please." She lead them through the restaurant to the back, and Nicaise sat next to Auguste with Laurent and Damen across from them. "The Waiter will be over in a few minutes to collect your orders. Would you like anything while you wait?"  
"No, thank you," Laurent said and the woman walked away.  
They were at Nicaise's favourite restaurant in the city, a modern Italian place with a lot of gold decor and green plants. Laurent was in a neat black shirt and skinny jeans while Auguste was in suit trousers and a closed jacket, clearly still dressed for work, as was Damen in his pressed shirt and slacks, tie and jacket discarded in the car. Nicaise had wound up just wearing a pressed black shirt and thick black skinny jeans with black kickers that had a darker version of the bi flag on their soles.  
"When was the last time you were all actually here for something not related to work?" Nicaise asked.  
"Too long ago," Auguste sighed. "You got us hooked to this place - I've had dinner here four times in the last fortnight."  
"Alright for some," Nicaise pouted. Auguste laughed lightly, ruffling Nicaise's hair up.  
"How are you fifteen already?"  
"Oh don't get sentimental," Nicaise groaned and Damen grinned.  
"It's your birthday so we get to be as sentimental as we want," he chided. Nicaise rolled his eyes, picking up a menu even though he already knew what he wanted. There were no prices- most of the restaurants Laurent took him to didn't have prices on their menus.   
Their Waiter appeared and took their orders, bringing their drinks back first and promising their food was on its way.  
"So what's this I hear about you having a boyfriend?" Auguste asked and Nicaise glared between Laurent and Damen.  
"Which one of you was it this time?"  
"Laurent told me and Auguste was in the same room," Damen said and Nicaise huffed but turned back to Auguste.  
"He's not my boyfriend."  
"The same way Sky isn't your girlfriend?"  
Nicaise went to say "Yup," but paused with his mouth open. He felt way closer to Terry than Sky and the guy was so much better than she had been. Auguste smirked when Nicaise sputtered and Nicaise rolled his eyes. "Not the same as Sky. But he's not my boyfriend."  
"Is that really a good idea?" Damen asked and Nicaise looked over at him.   
"What do you mean?"  
"Didn't he send you into a panic attack last month?"  
Nicaise shook his head. "He gave me flashbacks which triggered it. But turns out Sky told him to back off in the first place."  
"Wait, what?" Auguste turned to look at Nicaise. Nicaise sighed but quickly told Auguste the same thing he had told Laurent when he'd woken up.   
Auguste clenched his jaw. Their Waiter a came back with their plates, placing each one in front of them before leaving again. "Why are you even friends with her if she pulls shit like that?" Auguste asked once the man was gone.  
"I'm not friends with her," Nicaise muttered into his mini vegetarian lasagne. "We just hook up. She's way more attached than I am."  
"Clearly," Auguste muttered.  
Nicaise hummed in agreement, eyes on his plate.  
"Anyway," Damen said quietly. "Just be careful Ter doesn't get like that, yeah?"  
"He won't," Nicaise said. "He's aromantic. He literally can not catch feelings. Neither of.us do relationships, it'll work out way better than me and Sky did."  
"Alright," Laurent said.   
The conversation moved on and they ended up debating which Marvel movie was best.  
It was almost 4pm when they left the restaurant, and Auguste and Damen hugged Nicaise goodbye before getting into Auguste's car, disappearing in seconds. Nicaise and Laurent got into his Aston Martin and went back to the penthouse.  
"Have you got any plans for tonight?" Laurent asked as Nicaise headed down towards his room.  
"Movie marathon?" Nicaise suggested and Laurent nodded.  
"After dinner. But come back through once you're changed - I've got something for you."  
"Ok," Nicaise said as he shut his door, quickly changing into loose sweats and a hoodie, pulling on his bootie slippers before heading back up the hall.  
Laurent was sitting on the sofa, still in his shirt and skinny jeans, with a cardboard box on his lap. It was small, about the size of a shoebox, and plain white.   
"What, no wrapping paper?" Nicaise joked, but Laurent didn't laugh. Instead he gestured to the space next to him.  
"Sit down," he said quietly.  
Nicaise frowned, sitting down next to Laurent and eying the box on his lap. "What's in that?" he asked. Something knotted in his stomach.  
Laurent put the box on the cushion between them. "Do you remember something you asked me for when you were twelve? It was a few months after you officially moved in here."  
Nicaise gulped. "Yes."  
"What did I say to you then?"  
"That I had been through enough and I didn't need to see all that shit broken down and put into writing."  
Laurent nodded at the white cube. "You're mature enough now. Everything's in there - all the notes and testimonies and transcriptions from the trial, the evidence, the case and counter case, the confessions and statements. It's up to you if you still want to see it all."  
Nicaise stared at the box. It was hardly bigger than a shoebox but inside were the worst years of his life. He gulped.  
Laurent stood up, gently touching Nicaise's shoulder. "If you don't want to look at it, I'll put it back in my cupboard. But from now on you're allowed to go through it whenever you want. If you want to."  
Nicaise nodded numbly. Laurent went upstairs and Nicaise waited until he heard the bedroom door shut before he flopped back on the couch. "Happy birthday to me," he muttered.  
The shower clicked on upstairs and Nicaise ran a shaky hand through his hair. After a few seconds, he lifted the box up. It was a lot lighter than he had expected but heavier at the same time. He carried it over to the kitchen island, sitting up on one of the stools.   
Gulping, Nicaise lifted the lid back, looking down into the box. It was full of paper and folders and CD cases. How could all of that shit be reduced and compressed to just... regular looking stuff that could fit neatly in a box?  
Shakily, he took each item out, laying them all out systematically on the counter in front of him, making sure the papers all stayed in the right order. Four DVD discs in individual cases, 1 thin brown folder, 2 thicker bound brown folders, 1 CD disc in a case, and 1 manila envelope. Everything was labeled. Nicaise didn't understand the abbreviations on three of the cases, but he recognised the handwriting on the other two and quickly moved them both onto the other side of the box. It had been years but he still remembered far too clearly what was on those discs.   
The three folders were labeled with more abbreviations. The envelope was folded but had the same scrawl on it's front.  
Nicaise sat there, staring at the three folders and three remaining discs. He wasn't sure how long he sat there before pulling the thin folder forward.  
Holding his breath, Nicaise quickly opened the folder and gasped when he saw the top photo. It was only a quarter of the page but it was still enough for him to recognise.  
Shaking, Nicaise carefully took the small pile of photos out of the folder, resting them on top. As soon as he saw the whole picture he could taste bile.   
The Mansion walls were papered in that same dark green and splattered with blood, as was the skirting board and maroon carpet. There was a number on a bit of paper on the floor next to it, along with what Nicaise assumed was some measurement tool to see the extent of blood spray or the distance between the main pool of blood and the blood drops leading away.  
Nicaise turned the photo and placed it face down next to the pile, and looked at a close-up of the blood trail. He still remembered how it had gotten there. Quickly, Nicaise moved onto he next photo, trying to focus on keeping his breathing even. It took a few seconds for him to focus on the third photo and a few more seconds before the image registered in his mind. When it did he gagged.  
His ten year old face stared back at him, a gash on his forehead and blood leaking down his temple and cheekbones. Black eyes, a busted lip and bloody nose completed the look.   
The next pictures were of him in the hospital bed, and close-ups of his injuries; a broken arm, severe bruising around his hips and shoulders, cuts down his inner thigh, shredded feet from standing on broken glass for far too long as some sort of punishment.  
Nicaise gulped when he saw the last eight photos. Half of them were of Richard's bedroom, close-ups of the bed with the fluids highlighted under UV light and old blood showing up glowing, probably after Luminol . The others were of Nicaise's old bedroom. Close-ups of his bed, the cuffs hidden behind the back if the headboard, the scratch marks on the wood, the marks on the wall from the amount of times he'd been forced against it, fluids highted a ghostly white under the blue-and-purple lights.   
Nicaise put the last photo face down on top of the pile and sat staring at his hands for a second before putting the pile back in the folder and pushing it to one side.   
At some point, the shower had turned off and Laurent had came downstairs. Now he quietly walked around to in front of Nicaise.   
"You still good?"  
"Yeah," Nicaise whispered. He swallowed a couple times before gesturing to the two thick folders. "What's in them?"  
"That one's a recording and notes from the trial, word for word," Laurent said, pointing to the left one. "And that one's all the shorthand and police notes and records of evidence."  
Nicaise nodded slowly, before pointing at the two remaining DVDs and CD. "And them?"  
"The DVDs are video recordings of the trial, and the CD is the recordings from interrogations and meetings."  
"Is he on them?"  
"All three," Laurent said quietly and Nicaise moved the discs over to the other side of the box where the other two already were.  
"What about the envelope?"  
"That's the signed confession, and the verdict paper."  
Nicaise moved the envelope over to on top of the DVD cases.  
Laurent didn't say anything but he didn't have to. Nicaise pulled forward the left folder and glanced up at Laurent. "Is his name in here?"  
"Only at the start. After that he's referred to 'the accused', and then he's named at the end during the verdict."  
Nicaise chewed his lip, hand hovering over the elastic strap.  
"You don't have to go through all of it at once," Laurent murmured, resting his elbows on the counter. Nicaise nodded slowly.   
"I know. But I think I want to."  
Laurent watched him for a few seconds before nodding.  
"Alright. Do you know what you want for dinner?"  
"Something comforting," Nicaise decided and Laurent hummed.  
"Shepherd's pie, or chickpea pie and mash, or quiche?"  
"Quiche," Nicaise said and Laurent headed over to the freezer.  
Nicaise looked back to the folder in front of him and sighed, drumming his fingers on the counter. After almost a minute he undone the elastic strap and opened the folder, taking out the pile of papers inside.   
Slowly, Nicaise started reading them, the sounds of Laurent starting on dinner soothing enough to keep him in the present and hopefully put off any flashbacks.  
...  
"Nuca."  
Nicaise glanced up at Laurent, frowning when he saw the quiche and veg on the plates.   
"That was quick," Nicaise murmured, looking back at the papers in front of him before realising he'd read almost half of it.  
"You looked like you were concentrating," Laurent commented as Nicaise got off the stool and took his plate over to the sofa.  
"The lawyer sounded nice," Nicaise said thoughtfully.  
"Which one?"  
"The one with the case against him." Laurent nodded as he sat down next to Nicaise.   
"Yeah, he was really good. He's also the one that got me custody of you."  
"Actually?" Nicaise asked and Laurent nodded again.   
"Actually."  
"Nice," Nicaise said quietly. They didn't say anything else as they ate their quiche and the pile of fried veg Laurent had put on the side.  
Nicaise carried the plates over to the sink when his phone rang. Terry's ringtone started playing after two vibrations so Nicaise answered while turning the faucet on.  
"Hey, what's u-"  
"Nico, is your brother there?"  
Nicaise frowned, looking over to Laurent. "Yes," he said. "Why?"  
"Uhm," Terry said eloquently. "I kinda need a favour."  
"What is it?"  
There was silence for almost five seconds before Terry sighed. "Can he sign me out at the hospital? They won't let me leave until someone over eighteen signs for me."  
Nicaise froze. "Wait, what? Hospital?"  
"Yeah," Terry said. He sounded tired. "It's a long story. I'm in A&E, they've already seen me, I'm fine, they just won't let me leave by myself."  
"Yeah, we're on our way," Nicaise said, turning the tap off and bolting to get his shoes on. "Which hospital?"  
"The Royal."  
"Got it."  
"Thanks, Nico." Before Nicaise could answer, Terry hung up. Swearing, Nicaise tugged his hoodie on and stuffed his phone in his pocket as he went back up the hall.  
"Terry's at the hospital and needs you to sign him out," he said to Laurent as he headed for the door.   
Laurent caught up to him at the elevator. "What happened?"  
"He didn't say. Just that he's at A&E and got seen already but they won't let him leave without someone."  
"Did he go by himself?"  
"Guess so," Nicaise said. "Maybe his parents are at work or something."  
Laurent frowned, and for once Nicaise couldn't read the look in his eyes.  
"Royal Hospital?" he asked instead of answering and Nicaise nodded.  
They got in Laurent's car, pulling away before either of them had put their seatbelts on. Nicaise held onto the ceiling handle instead and Laurent wasn't enough of a hypocrite to tell him otherwise.   
When they pulled in at the drop-off-pick-up point, Nicaise bolted out the door and up the incline to the doors, hurrying in and looking around for Terry. He spotted him in the corner, wearing one of Nicaise's hoodies. Terry looked up and Nicaise took two steps towards him before freezing. The guy's face was covered in bruises, there were a line of stitches on one of his eyebrows and his lip was burst.  
Nicaise was beside his chair before he even realised he had moved.  
"Who the fuck did this to you?" If they thought they could hurt his Ter like this and get awa-  
"No one," Terry mumbled, standing and walking past Nicaise. He was limping. "Can we just get out of here?"   
Nicaise frowned, following him over to the doors. Laurent was already at the desk, signing a few bits of paper.   
"Ter-"  
"Nico, please," Terry mumbled. "Don't ask again. I don't wanna lie but I- I can't tell you."  
Nicaise paused. "Is it to do with whatever dirt Sky has on you?"  
"Yeah."  
"Drugs?"  
Terry snorted then winced. "No, not drugs. I'm way too paranoid for that stuff."  
"Alright," Nicaise said quietly.   
Laurent walked over to them and gestured outside. "Let's go."  
The three of them went down to the car which was still idling, and Nicaise climbed in the back. Terry hesitantly got in the front, wincing when he sat down.   
"You're staying with us," Laurent said quietly but firmly. "Or will that upset your parents?"  
Terry cleared his throat, looking down at his hands. "It'll be alright as long as I'm back when they're both at work tomorrow."  
"Alright."  
Nicaise frowned. He got the feeling Laurent knew more about what was going on than he did, even though Terry hadn't told him either. But it seemed like he had. Or maybe the nurse had told Laurent what had happened - they'd have to know. Right?  
When they got back to the penthouse building, Nicaise helped Terry up the steps and through the revolving door. Terry leaned against the rail in the elevator, and Nicaise could see how exhausted he looked. The bruises were fresh purple and red, making a mess of his cheekbones and skin.  
"What painkillers did they give you?" Laurent asked.  
"Just brofen," Terry said quietly. "I'm allergic to paracetamol and aspirin makes me dizzy."  
Laurent nodded. "When and how much?"  
"I think it was five hundred mil, and maybe half an hour before yous showed up."  
"Alright."  
They stepped out and Nicaise helped Terry along the waxed-and-polished floor, silently cursing how smooth and shiney and slippery it was. Inside the penthouse, Terry automatically started limping towards Nicaise's room.  
"Lie down and  try to get to sleep," Laurent instructed. "And no fooling around tonight - either of you."  
Nicaise and Terry both nodded aquisince, before Nicaise opened his doors and helped Terry over to the bed.   
Terry hissed as he lay down and Nicaise tried to fluff his pillows up.   
"What hurts?"  
"Everything," Terry admitted.   
"Everything hurts and you're only hissing?"  
Terry smiled weakly. "My ribs."  
Nicaise climbed on top of the other boy and carefully took his hoodie off, slowly rolling it up his torso and helping move his arms out of it before gently sliding it off his head.   
Nicaise hovered his hand over the hem of Terry's tshirt until the other nodded. "Go ahead."  
Gently, Nicaise rolled the tshirt up, flinching when he stopped at Terry's armpits. His torso was covered in bruises the same as his face, and what almost looked like boot prints and baseball bat injuries.  
"I'm not gonna ask," Nicaise whispered. "But promise me something?"  
"What?"  
"That you're gonna tell me one day."  
Terry swallowed. "I wanna tell you Nico, I really do. It's just..."  
"As long as it isn't drugs or that sort of stuff I don't care."  
Terry shook his head slightly then made a noise in the back of his throat.  
"It's nothing like that, I swear. I... I've just never told anyone about it before and I don't know what the words sound like. I don't know if I can even say it out loud."  
Nicaise gulped. That sounded familiar.  
They were silent for a few minutes while Laurent washed up on the kitchen.  
"Everyone has secrets," Nicaise heard himself say. "Some are alright to keep to yourself - two can keep a secret if one of them is dead and all that stuff. But other secrets are too heavy and dark for one person; those ones are easier to keep if there's a group of people to hold onto it."  
Terry watched Nicaise, who was still straddling him.  
"You sound like you've got both types of secret."  
"I do," Nicaise murmured, thinking and then counting on his fingers. "Four light ones that only I know. But there's one that's way too much - that's divided between me, my brothers and Damen." And whoever had been in court for the trial as well as the people who had handled it. But they were all used to heavy secrets.  
Terry chewed his lip.  
"Six light ones, then this one."  
Nicaise nodded slowly. He had sworn to himself not to tell anyone about his dark secret but... maybe it would be alright to tell Terry. Not all of it - just the gist.  
"Trade?" he asked quietly. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."  
Terry chewed his lip. "Alright."  
Nicaise gulped. He hadn't expected Terry to agree.  
He jumped slightly when Terry started tracing circles against his stomach. When Nicaise looked back down, the guy was watching him patiently.  
"Remember when I said I lived with Laurent's uncle when I was younger?" he started quietly and Terry nodded, thumbs moving in slow, rhythmic circles over Nicaise's skin.   
"He... 'adopted' me when I was eight. Before that I was in an orphanage but I ran away a lot - he picked me up off the street. I thought he was great; he had a giant mansion in the countryside, he was kind, funny, fed me and let me watch cartoons all day. I got to wear designer brands every day and never wanted for anything..."  
"Sounds like a good deal," Terry murmured and Nicaise laughed bitterly.  
"Yeah, that's what I thought too. But little eight year old me didn't notice any of the red flags - the fact he already had a kids bedroom set up ready for me, complete with kid size clothes. When I asked he said it had been his nephew's room so I accepted that. His hugs were comforting but then they turned... possessive. Hard. He started holding me too tight for too long, pressing me too close against him. I was tiny - crotch height on him at the time. Obviously I didn't think anything of it."  
Nicaise chewed the inside of his cheek. "Then Laurent visited for the first time in months apparently. I'd been there for maybe eight weeks by then. He was fifteen or sixteen, and his uncle tried to play nice but as soon as Laurent saw me he looked terrified. And so guilty. He asked his uncle what the fuck was going on, who was I, why was I there. His uncle said he had saved me from the street, and Laurent looked like he was going to be sick. I was hiding behind his Uncle's leg and he looked down at me and just looked so... scared. So young - way more scared than I'd seen a teenage boy look before. He squatted down and asked what my name was, so I told him. He introduced himself, and said he could take me away, that he had lots of money and could find me a really good family. I said no, I liked living with his uncle, he was funny and kind. Laurent looked like I'd punched him. Then he said he had candy in his brothers car and that it could go really fast if I wanted to have a go in it - I said I wasn't meant to accept candy from strangers or go in their cars... he looked like he was going to cry but bowed his head and stood back up. His uncle was smiling but it wasn't a nice smile, and said Auguste would be waiting unless Laurent wanted to stay for dinner. Laurent noped out of there so fast."  
Nicaise was looking at the pillows and the walls, anything but Terry, who was still tracing circles on his stomach.  
"It was about a fortnight after that that he... he hit me for the first time. I'd gotten hit and punched before but it'd always been my face or stomach - but he hauled me over his lap and skelped me. I was crying within seconds, and he kept going til I was almost bleeding cause that's when I stayed quiet. When he was done he pinched my chin really hard and told me I knew I deserved it, really - and that naughty children always got punished until they learned to behave. The next time I took I shower he watched me, then told me I didn't deserve a nice soft towel or expensive clothes so had to stay naked until I learned to appreciate luxuries. I was freezing. He made me go around the Mansion starkers until I was dry. Then he told me to go get dressed cause I had learned my lesson."  
Nicaise took a deep breath before continuing. "The morning after, he sat me on his lap and fed me for the first time. He said I was his favourite, that I was such a good boy, that I was amazing and beautiful and deserved so much love and that he wanted to show me how much he loved me. He asked me if I wanted to know - I said yes cause I thought it was a present." Nicaise laughed but it sounded choked. "He raped me. Took me up to his room and said it was a reward and that I had to like it. After, he told me I was his favourite thing and he loved me so much and that we were a family."  
Nicaise could feel himself crying but forced himself to keep going. "It started being a regular thing after that. I stopped getting dressed fully, I was almost always half naked. He fed me on his lap every morning. And getting raped was always a reward for something. But whenever I broke one of his rules he beat me - whether it was beating my ass til it bled or belting my back until I went silent. I always thought I deserved it. And I always thought getting fucked brainless was a reward."  
Nicaise couldn't look at Terry, couldn't even see him anymore. He couldn't see anything.  
"It was like that until I was ten. Then Laurent came back, and he knew what was going on. He'd known the whole time but hadn't known what to do or how to help me or how to stop his uncle. We got pretty close until I trusted him - he asked me why I had bruises on my shoulders and lines on my back and I started crying. I told him everything. Then his uncle came downstairs and knew what had happened - he beat Laurent up and made me watch then forced Laurent to watch when he beat me. That was the first time he fucked me as a punishment. Laurent went to the police and turns out he had recorded the whole thing - his uncle got arrested and I got put into foster care. Laurent looked out for me when he could, and I got to spend some weekends here. It was two years before he and Damen legally adopted me. I haven't seen his uncle since that night - the last night I spent there he beat me so bad. It was the first time he had gone for my face."  
Terry's thumbs hadn't moved the entire time Nicaise had been speaking but the boy reached up and wiped Nicaise's cheeks softly.  
"Nico... you know nothing he told you was true, right?"  
Nicaise nodded slightly. "It took me ages before I got it through my head but yeah. I know."  
They were both silent for a minute before Terry spoke.   
"My parents hit me. A lot. I've gone to A&E because of them a couple times before. Missed a lot of school from some of the worse ones. My dad's a drunk and mum's way too high wired. Normally he kicks me and curses me out but she'll hit me with anything she can lift. They do it when they're mad or pissed off at each other or life in general. Somehow I'm to blame for everything that went wrong in their lives. If I go home late and wake them up I usually get beaten. That's what happened earlier today cause I got home too early and disturbed them when they were fucking on the couch. Apparently their shitty sex life is my fault too."  
Nicaise carefully touched Terry's hair. "They're idiots and don't deserve you."  
"I know," Terry murmured.  
They were silent for another while before Nicaise smiled weakly. "Guess we're both fucked up, huh?"  
"Looks like," Terry replied quietly, carefully rubbing circles down Nicaise's arms.  
Nicaise moved and lay down next to Terry. About half an hour later he realised  older boy had fallen asleep. Nicaise looked at the bruises and cuts and stitches again for a few minutes before carefully getting out of bed and making his way up the hall. Laurent was sitting on the sofa with the TV on quietly.  
"How did you know it was his parents?"  
"You had the same look on your face when you were ten," Laurent replied after a pause.   
Nicaise chewed his lip. "I told him."  
Laurent looked over. "You ok?"  
Nicaise shrugged weakly. He was pretty sure he still had tearstains on his face.  
"Better than I thought I'd be."  
Laurent nodded slowly. Nicaise looked over to the kitchen island where the white box still was. Laurent had put everything back in it at some point.  
"I think I know what I wanna do," Nicaise heard himself say.  
"What?"  
"I wanna be a lawyer."  
Laurent sat up straight and muted the TV, facing Nicaise completely.   
"I wanna do what that prosecuter did for me - for you - for that other boy neither of us got to meet. People shouldn't be able to hurt kids and use them just because they're bigger and scarier. I wanna put bad people away for life. I wanna be able to help kids like me and like you and like Terry. Parents shouldn't be allowed to do that. Family shouldn't be allowed to hurt each other like that. And kids shouldn't have to believe they deserve any of that shit." Nicaise looked back from the box to Laurent. The man was looking at him, and this time Nicaise knew what look was in his eyes.  
"I'll finish politics this year but I wanna take law or pre-law next year," he said. Laurent smiled faintly.   
"The library will probably have some books on law that you can have a look at before then so you can get used to the language and terms," he said.   
Nicaise nodded. "Alright."  
Laurent gestured and Nicaise walked over to him, hugging the man tightly.   
"Well done," Laurent murmured quietly. "I'm so fucking proud of you, Nicaise."  
For once, Nicaise agreed with him. He was fucking proud of himself too.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:  
> Dirty little secret - All American Rejects  
> Read all about it - Emile Sandi and Prof. Green  
> Please don't say you love me - Gabrielle Aplin   
> Home - Gabrielle Aplin


	5. January

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months have passed, Nicaise and Terry are now best friends and fluffy, and Terry meets Auguste when things take a slightly unexpected turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for:  
> Implied underage horniness nd sex but nothing actually happens

Nicaise snorted. "You wouldn't."  
"Oh we both know I would," Terry countered.  
"We're in public."  
"So? Not into PDA?"  
"Not particularly."  
"Tough luck," Terry grinned.   
"We're in Waitrose."  
"So the audience is good quality," Terry said and Nicaise grinned, shaking his head.  
Overhead, the speakers went from a store announcement back to the radio. Terry started whistling and Nicaise debated hitting him with the basket and legging it. Before he could do either of those things, Terry flashed him a grin and started singing along to the song playing overhead on the radio.  
 ** _"Hey Nicky you so fine-"_**  
Nicaise laughed, backing away from Terry.   
**_"-blow my mind. Hey Nicky-"_**  
People were starting to look over to them and Nicaise cringed.   
"Terry-"  
 _ **"Hey Nicky, hey Nicky-"**_  
Nicaise laughed, shaking his head and turning around to walk away up the aisle.  
"I don't know you," he said but Terry grinned, jumping along beside him and whistling to the instrumental. Nicaise shoved at Terry when he started singing again. "I hate you," he said but was laughing too much to be able to pull it off.  
 ** _"-you can't say goodnight so you can take me home-"_**  
"Fuck off."  
 ** _"-say you will it always means you wont-"_**  
An old woman was frowning at them and Nicaise really couldn't blame her. He was in skinny biker jeans and Docs with one of Damen's hoodies while Terry was in a Parker and ripped jeans and was jumping around like some sort of crazed junkie cheerleader. "I don't know him," Nicaise said to the woman.   
**_"-please baby, don't-"_**  
"I have no idea who he is, honest."  
 ** _"-every night you still leave me all alone, Nicky-"_**

"I've never seen him before."  
 ** _"-oh Nicky you're so pretty can't you understand its guys like you Nicky-"_**  
Nicaise walked down a different aisle, but Terry kept bouncing and dancing along beside him for the rest of the song, singing louder each time Nicaise tried to get him to shut the fuck up.  
 ** _"-c'mon and give it to me anyway you want-"_**  
"No chance."  
 ** _"Any way you wanna do it I'll treat you like a man-"_**  
Nicaise was pretty sure he was crying from laughing too much. Terry was grinning, obviously enjoying humiliating Nicaise way too much. Fucking sadist.   
When the went went back to the instrumental Terry went back to whistling but kept bopping. By the time he finally stopped Nicaise was debating dropping the basket and legging it out the store, empty fridge and cupboards be damned.   
"I hate you."  
"If that was true you wouldn't still be here and I'd be lying in grilled shreds on the floor a few aisles back."  
"I'm still considering it," Nicaise said but Terry grinned that stupid fucking cocky grin and Nicaise knew exactly which one of them was gonna be left in pieces.   
"Fucking prickhead," Nicaise muttered and Terry laughed.  
"Come on," he said as they headed down to the tils. "There's chem homework you need to help me with."  
"You're on your own and you know it." Lies. They both knew Nicaise would end up helping him.  
Terry smirked. "I wanna blow you and I'm really getting impatient."   
Nicaise paused before heading for the self serve tils instead, Terry laughing behind him.  
It had been a few months since they had came clean to each other about their pasts, and Nicaise was glad he'd opened up when he had. The morning after, they'd had breakfast with Laurent and Damen but had somehow managed to make it slightly less awkward than anticipated. Later, Terry had gotten Nicaise to help clean the bruises and dressings on his torso and shoulders. Nicaise had really tried to be gentle but had probably still been a little rough handed. Terry had gone back home about a week later, and had shown up to class without any new injuries the next day, so Nicaise had taken that as a positive.  
They hadn't even tried to hook up for over a month after. When they did, Terry had made Nicaise stop and asked what was alright.  
"What do you mean?" Nicaise had asked and Terry had smoothed his bangs off his face. There had only been a little blonde left by that point.  
"I mean, Pastels, I don't want to do anything that isn't totally alright with you and I get the feeling even if I crossed a line you wouldn't tell me until it was too late." Nicaise had stared but hadn't been able to argue. Of course Terry had been right. So Nicaise had grudgingly said he was alright with anything that didn't involve his ass or toys or cuffs, and Terry had taken that in stride. Later on Terry had told Nicaise he didn't like shouting, and Nicaise hadn't raised his voice in front of him since.   
Now, over two months later, they still hadn't crossed each others lines, which Nicaise was proud of. Terry still hadn't fucked or fingered him, and he still hadn't screamed, tickle wars excluded. They'd only hooked up a couple of times since but had mostly just focused on being genuine friends.  
Sky hadn't taken too well to that, but after Nicaise had ripped into her in front of the entire college in the canteen, she had stayed out of their way, for the most part. He wasn't worried about her anymore.   
Nicaise scanned the items through the til and Terry bagged them and paid before they headed out and back up the street. Laurent and Damen were away on some weekend trip with work, so Nicaise and Terry had the penthouse to themselves. Auguste was meant to check up on them at some point to make sure they were still alive and the building wasn't burned to the ground.  
"You two still alive?" Jord joked when they stopped in the foyer.  
"Eh, breathing," Nicaise replied. "Can we get the pool key?"  
Jord smirked. "Laurent said you'd want that."  
"He knows what I like to do," Nicaise replied easily.   
"He also said not to give you it," Jord said.  
"Why not?"  
"Cause he knows underage pool sex is against regulations. And probably quite uncomfortable for the security guard watching those cameras."  
"We weren't gonna..." Nicaise trailed off when Jord just raised an eyebrow.   
"Nice try, kid. But if yous go in there without your brother here, those doors stay open and there will be a guard manning the changing and shower areas."  
Nicaise groaned and Jord flashed him an apologetic grin. "Guess that bitch really does know what you like."  
"Tell that bitch he owes me when he gets back," Nicaise countered but he could feel himself pouting.  
Jord laughed, leaning back in the chair behind the large black desk.  
"Oh, he knows. But I'll pass your regards on anyway."  
Nicaise flipped him off but was grinning by the time he stopped at the elevator next to Terry.  
"Looks like it's just gonna be boring couch sex then," Terry said and Nicaise sighed loudly.  
"Fine."  
Terry grinned and shoved him into the elevator. Nicaise whimpered quietly when Terry pressed him against the handrail.  
"Really? You that desperate already Nico?" Terry murmured against his ear, knee already between Nicaise's legs. Nicaise quickly sucked a hickey onto Terry's neck as a response, forcing himself not to grin at the noises Terry made.  
By the time Nicaise shoved Terry into the penthouse he was already close.   
"You're fucking evil," Nicaise gasped and Terry laughed against his neck, body vibrating against his which honestly didn't help anything. "Ter- fuck."   
Terry pressed Nicaise into the wall, grinding against him right as the door opened and Nicaise barely managed to stop himself from cumming in his pants.  
"Jord said you two were humping like rabbits, but I figured he meant on each others faces."  
"Oh fuck off Gus," Nicaise groaned, tilting his head back against the wall.  
"Yous seem to be a pretty good job of that as is," Auguste countered. He looked at Terry, who still hadn't spoken or moved away from Nicaise. "So I take it you're the best-friend-slash-not-the-boyfriend that Nuca's been going on about?"  
"Uhm y-yeah," Terry stammered, eyes locked on Auguste. Nicaise frowned but froze when he felt something twitch against his leg.  
"Finally," Auguste laughed, totally oblivious to what was happening in Terry's pants. Nicaise quickly done the math of how much force he'd need to be able to run and smash through the glass wall to die on impact when he hit the pavement and decided it wasn't going to happen. But still; a broken arm from the window could be worth it.  
"He talks bout you all the time but never offered to introduce us."  
Terry made some sort of noise in the back of his throat that Auguste took as agreement or something. "I'm his oldest brother, Auguste."  
"Ter. Well, Terence. But most people just call me Ter."  
"And only Nuca calls you Terry?"  
Nicaise groaned. This couldn't be real.  
"Yeah," Terry said. "But you can call me whatever you want."  
Nicaise blinked. What the-  
Auguste grinned. "Good to know. You two gonna put that ice cream in the drawer before it melts?"  
"I'm more interested in your drawers."  
Nicaise stared at Terry. This wasn't fucking happening. But he could still feel the older boy twitching against his leg. No fucking-  
Auguste grinned wider and raised an eyebrow.  
"Pretty sure I'm too old for you, but nice shot. And watch out for Nuca's jealousy tantrum; that'll come later."  
Terry smirked like he was biting his tongue and Nicaise could guess at the comment.  
Huffing, he looked over to the grinning Auguste. "What are you even doing here?"  
It came out a lot poutier than he had meant and he felt Terry looking at him. He didn't even need to look back over to see that stupid cocky smirk and those green-  
"Checking you two are alive, for one."  
"And for two?"  
Auguste laughed. "To see if yous wanted dinner."  
"We'll order take-out. Or McD's. Or something."  
Auguste grinned and looked back at Terry. "Think he's trying to hint at me to leave or something?"  
"No, don't think so," Terry said and Nicaise squawked.  
Auguste quirked an eyebrow.  
"What was that?"  
"Thanks for coming by but we're alive and breathing and obviously not starving and the food is over there the door is that way and I'm sure you know how to close it," Nicaise said before grabbing the ice cream and a spoon off the counter and hauling Terry down the hall.   
When Nicaise shut his door Auguste was still laughing in the main room and Terry grinned at Nicaise. It was the definition of a shit eating grin.  
"Aw, what's up, Nico?" Terry asked, pressing Nicaise against the door. "Jealous?" Terry whispered before licking up Nicaise's neck. Nicaise made a humiliatingly high sound and Terry growled.   
...  
Half an hour later, they were both lying propped up on Nicaise's chaise lounge.  
"We're good, right?" Terry asked and Nicaise looked up at him. He hated being short - he was barely 5'6 - but there were some upsides like almost always being the one getting cuddled.  
"Of course," he said but he knew he sounded confused.  
Terry shook his head. "You're not actually jealous about me flirting with your brother, right?"  
Nicaise hummed. "I'm not jealous. Just a little surprised."  
"How come? You've got eyes."  
Nicaise shrugged, stealing the spoon off of Terry and taking the mouthful of ice cream.   
"True. But he's my brother - I've never looked at him like that. And I've only ever seen girls flirt with him."  
Terry hummed quietly, playing with Nicaise's hair. He'd gotten the last of the blonde trimmed off a few weeks ago so was back to his natural colour and was beginning to let his curls grow back in.  
"I can see their point," Terry said and Nicaise huffed. Terry laughed, taking the spoon back. "But you don't mind?"  
"Do I mind you blatantly wanting to fuck or get fucked by my brother?" Nicaise asked and Terry nodded. "Not really, no," Nicaise said. "He's straight anyway."  
Terry whined and Nicaise laughed, helping himself to more ice cream.

...

"You're still here?"  
Nicaise watched as Auguste yawned, looking over at him from his place on the leather couch.  
"Very observant," the man muttered and Nicaise rolled his eyes.  
"Were you here all night?"  
"Yeah," Auguste said before he smirked over at Terry as the other boy came into view before looking back to Nicaise. "Last I checked, you used to make a right racket."  
Nicaise flipped him off and headed over to the fruit bowl.  
"What time are Laurent and Damen getting back?"  
"Any minute now," Auguste mumbled through another yawn. Nicaise bit down on an apple, glancing at the clock.  
Terry looked over at Nicaise. "Gives an orange, Pastels."  
Nicaise threw and orange at him and Terry hopped onto one of the bar stools at the counter to start peeling it. He looked over his shoulder when Auguste started speaking again.   
"Gotta say, I was expecting you two to be louder last night."  
"I could probably make you scream louder than Nico," Terry said nonchalantly and Nicaise rolled his eyes. Auguste grinned.  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yeah," Terry said easily, not so subtly dragging his eyes down Auguste's body, lingering when he noticed the older man was half hard.  
Terry smirked and Auguste shook his head but couldn't stop himself from laughing.   
Before Terry could embarrass himself with another comment, the door opened and Laurent came into the room, Damen on his tail.  
"Happy now?" Damen asked and Laurent flipped him off.  
"Oh thank fuck you're home," Auguste laughed. Laurent quirked an eyebrow at the three of them.  
"Who's gonna kill who?"  
"Terry's gonna fuck Gus," Nicaise said around another bite of apple.  
"Or blow," Terry said, still smirking at Auguste. "Whichever's on the menu."  
Auguste let out a startled laugh. He pointed at Terry.   
"That one's a right flirt."  
"Clearly," Laurent said before looking over at Nicaise. "Anything to say?"  
"He's got a snowball's chance in hell but it's free entertainment and better than a movie. Almost better than your work drama."  
Laurent smirked. "That all?"  
Nicaise shrugged. "So not fair he's focusing on my brother instead of me."  
Terry turned and blew him a kiss. "You got me last night, Nico. Don't get greedy."  
Nicaise flipped him off and looked back to Laurent. "See?"  
Laurent was almost grinning and he shook his head, heading towards the staircase.  
"You know what this is then, don't you?"  
"What?"  
"Karma."   
Nicaise choked on his apple and the three men burst out laughing.   
"No," Nicaise wheezed. "Oh fuck no."  
Terry frowned, looking around at them all.  
"I think I missed the punchline?"  
Laurent grinned at him.   
"Don't you dare," Nicaise tried to say but it was lost in a coughing fit.  
"Damen's friend Nikandros used to be around a lot. He's around Auguste's age and pretty fit. Nicaise had the biggest crush on him for two years or so."  
Terry grinned over at Nicaise. "Actually?"  
Nicaise tried to glare at Laurent but his eyes were watering. Fucking hell.  
"It went completely unrequited, of course," Laurent continued. "Nuca was smitten but Nikandros was scared of him."  
"Scared?" Terry asked and the three men nodded.   
"Scared."  
Terry laughed and Laurent looked between him and Auguste.   
"Seems like karma's came around to bite Nuca's ass if you've got a hard on for Gus now."  
He and Damen disappeared upstairs on that comment and left Nicaise choking and spluttering in the kitchen with Terry and Auguste howling.   
"Fuck all of you," Nicaise muttered once he could breathe again.   
"Nah," Terry said and ducked the half-eaten apple Nicaise chucked at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> Hey Mickey - Toni Basil


	6. February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terry turns 17, Nicaise makes a decision and they both grow up a little bit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for:  
> Underage sex (slightly descriptive)  
> Flashbacks  
> Abuse  
> Alcoholism implied  
> Mentions of past sleeping around  
> Panic attacks

Nicaise tilted his wrist a little more, trying to get a better angle.  
"Nico-"  
"Hold still," Nicaise murmured. "This is an art."  
Terry held still for another few seconds before grabbing the selfie-stick stick off of him.  
"Hey-!"  
"What's wrong?"  
"Nothing. Just give me the fucking stick back. That was gonna be a decent picture."  
Terry raised a brow and kept holding the selfie stick out of Nicaise's reach. "You only turn into a shallow perfectionist when something's bothering you," he said. "You've been focusing completely on homework and selfies for the last week. What's going on in that head of yours?"  
Nicaise felt himself glaring slightly.  
"Wise ass."  
"I'm a wise ass for managing to break through those walls of yours and see over the fences?" Terry countered and tilted his head when Nicaise ducked his.  
"That's... kind of it."  
"What do you mean?"  
Nicaise sighed. "You're the first person other than my brothers and Damen to have done that. Ever. It's just a little odd. And..."  
"And?' Terry prompted after a few seconds and Nicaise groaned, scrubbing his hands over his face.  
"And -," Nicaise started but stopped. Why was this so fucking hard to say? He looked back up and kissed Terry instead of saying it. A few months ago he probably would've dryhumped Terry until the other boy got the message but Nicaise knew he was past that now.  
When they separated again Nicaise rested his forehead against Terry's.  
"I want you to fuck me," he whispered. Terry froze. "Like... really want you to. A lot. And just wanting that again is kinda fucking with my head."  
Terry nodded slightly, carding his fingers through Nicaise's hair.  
"I really wanna fuck you, too," he whispered and Nicaise froze. "But I didn't- don't- want to rush you. I don't care if it takes years before you're ready."  
Nicaise gulped. "I wanna try," he murmured. "I- I trust you to stop if I change my mind."  
Terry kissed his nose. "I promise I'll stop if you want me to. Even if it's just for you to catch your breath or if it's for good if you've had enough, I'll stop."  
Nicaise nodded slightly and Terry gently wrapped his arms round Nicaise's waist, keeping their foreheads against each other.  
"You've fucked a guy before, right?" Nicaise asked and Terry nodded.  
"Yeah, a couple times. Not for a while though." He paused before running his thumb in a circle against Nicaise's hip. "When was your last time?"  
"A little over a year ago," Nicaise murmured. "I slept around a lot and let a lot of guys so whatever they wanted. Girls too. If they fucked me I normally went into a panic attack but kept telling them I liked it and put the panic off until later when I'd completely break down. The only way I didn't go into one was if I was too drunk or too high to know anything was going on. Normally I'd have one or two in the morning once I realised or remembered the night."  
Terry kept his thumbs moving slowly against Nicaise's hips, even after he finished talking.  
"How about we decide on a date to try," Terry said quietly. "And we'll both be completely sober - no drinking no drugs not even caffeine or painkillers. But I promise I'll stop as soon as you say to."  
Nicaise gulped and nodded. "That sounds good."  
"There's only one other thing," Terry said after a few seconds.  
Nicaise looked up. "What?" There was always a ca-  
"I want Laurent to be home the whole time," Terry said. Nicaise blinked.  
"Why?"  
"I don't know how to calm you down, Nico. I've never seen you in a panic attack and have no idea what to do when you're in one. Laurent does. I want him home when we're trying, just in case."  
Nicaise gulped. He nodded slowly. "Alright."  
Terry kissed his forehead. "Thank you for trusting me."  
Nicaise kissed him before he said anything else. This time Terry deepened it, gently pushing Nicaise back on the sofa and climbing on top of him.  
"This your idea of stress relief?" Nicaise murmured and Terry grinned against his lips.  
"Something like that."  
"Or is it an early birthday gift to yourself?" Nicaise asked as he played absently with Terry's fly. The older boy grinned.  
"Maybe."  
Nicaise grinned up at him. "How very thoughtful of you."  
Terry licked slowly up Nicaise's neck and Nicaise shuddered.  
"That's not fair," he whispered and Terry grinned before biting and sucking at his ear and jaw, making Nicaise whimper.  
"What's not fair? That I know more sensitive spots on you than you do on me? Or that I know how to make you scream?"  
Before Nicaise could respond, Terry had pulled away and started tickling Nicaise's ribs.  
Nicaise squawked.  
"No fair-!"  
Terry had him pinned and writhing on the cushions in seconds.  
"Fair and square," he laughed, hands moving to Nicaise's sides. Nicaise screeched.

...

"We should have a party."  
"I don't know..."  
"Oh come on," Skylar whined. "You're only seventeen once."  
"You say that about every year," Nicaise muttered. "And not everyone likes parties."  
"Spoil sports," she said, pouting at them both.  
Nicaise wasn't sure why he had let her in. She'd shown up around half an hour ago and he already wanted her to leave.  
Skylar blew a cloud of smoke at them and Terry coughed quietly.  
"It's his birthday, Sky, not yours," Nicaise said before Skylar could comment on Terry's coughing. "If he doesn't want a party then there's no party."  
"You're no fun," Skylar whined and Nicaise rolled his eyes.  
"If we're so boring, fuck off."  
Skylar huffed before using Nicaise's bases to put out her cigarette. When she saw him glaring at her she grinned and climbed onto his lap.  
"You've not fucked me in months, Nuca," she whined, kissing him before Nicaise could shove her off.  
"Poor you," he said, pulling away.  
"More like poor you," she said, running her nails over his jaw. "You're missing out."  
Nicaise rolled his eyes, pushing her off his lap.  
"Clearly not by much."  
Skylar scowled before gesturing at Terry. "Don't tell me he's been fucking you."  
"Of course he has," Nicaise said. "What else do you expect us to do when we hang out?"  
Skylar glared at Terry. Nicaise was really regretting letting her in.  
"We could have a manage-a-trois ," she said with a sick grin between the two of them. "Remember when we done that with Peter's brother Rick?"  
Nicaise went still but Skylar didn't notice as she looked over at Terry. "Peter's a guy we went to school with."  
"Fascinating," Terry remarked dryly. "Really, keep talking, you've got our attention."  
Terry's blatant sarcasm helped Nicaise relax slightly.  
"He had a total monster cock," Skylar said with too much emphasis. "Nuca was screaming the whole night. I think Rick even made him cry at some point. That was hot. Has he ever cried for you?"  
"No and I don't want him to." Terry's voice was icy and Skylar pouted. Nicaise was focusing too much on not going back to that memory of his thirteen year old self getting fucked by Peter's 20-something year old brother. It took a few seconds before he realised Skylar was back on his lap, this time playing with his fly.  
"Come on, it'll be fun," she said and Nicaise flinched when her hands slid under his jeans.  
"Sod off Sky," he snapped, shoving her away again and redoing his fly. "I'm not in the bloody mood."  
"You're never in the bloody fucking mood," she said. Without a glance at Terry Skylar stood up and stormed out of the room and back up the hallway, spitting something unintelligible at whoever she almost ran into in the doorway.  
A few seconds later Damen leaned into Nicaise's room, looking between the two stone faced boys sitting on the floor. Neither of them were going to break the silence.  
"What happened?" Damen asked after almost ten seconds of icy silence.  
"She's gonna turn green one of these days," Nicaise said and Terry hummed in agreement, clenching his jaw slightly.  
Damen sighed. "Why do yous hang out with her?"  
"We don't," Terry said. "She hangs out with us. There's a difference. Not our fault she thinks it's the same thing."  
Damen frowned but didn't comment. "Laurent wants to talk to yous in the kitchen," he said instead. Nicaise watched as Damen went back up the hall before he and Terry slowly followed.  
Laurent was sitting at the kitchen island, going through what looked like business accounts.  
"What's up?" Nicaise asked and the man looked between them both before settling his calculating gaze on Terry.  
"Any plans for tomorrow?"  
"Kinda," Terry said, eyes ubfocusing slightly. Nicaise stiffened. "My parents will want me home before them, and if there are any presents I'll hide them for later, then we'll head out to a restaurant for dinner. Dad will probably get drunk and try to get me drunk, then we'll head back home. It's the same every year."  
Laurent nodded slowly, clearly thinking over Terry's words and the things left unsaid. "You're welcome to come over afterwards, if that's a safer option for you than spending the night there."  
"Thank you," Terry said, eyes refocusing slowly. "It'll probably be around nine-ish if that's alright?"  
"Of course," Laurent said. "And you don't have to knock."  
Terry smiled at him before Laurent gestured at the kitchen. "You two probably haven't ate all day."  
Nicaise shrugged and started getting them sandwiches while Terry tentatively asked what Laurent was going over and Laurent explained as best as he could without going into details. That was something he was good at. Damen was still learning it. Nicaise wasn't sure if he was good at it or not.  
...  
Nicaise looked up when Laurent knocked on his door. Laurent raised an eyebrow at the pre-law journal Nicaise was reading but didn't comment.  
"Is there any reason Terry was asking what days I'm not at work over the next fortnight?" he asked and Nicaise chewed his lip. Terry had left half an hour ago, swearing because his parents were finishing early and he'd forgotten. He'd left before Laurent could offer to drive him back.  
Nicaise sighed. "I told him I really want him to fuck me, and he said he wants to too but we both kinda expect me to have a panic attack so we agreed we would only try when you're home cause Terry doesn't know how to calm me back down."  
Laurent nodded, and Nicaise couldn't read the expression on his face.  
"Alright. I've got a meeting Wednesday evening and a presentation on Monday followed by other meetings but I'm home every other day after tonight."  
"Ok," Nicaise said. Laurent moved as if to walk back up the hall but paused and looked back at Nicaise.  
"I'm really glad you two are being sensible about this," he said softly. "A year or so ago you wouldn't have been anywhere near this clear headed about it."  
Nicaise nodded slowly. "I'm starting to realise that."  
Laurent smiled slightly. "Let me know whenever yous decide to have a go - so that I don't do any Skype meetings or phonecalls."  
Nicaise agreed and Laurent went back up the hall, leaving Nicaise to go back to the pre-law journal.

...

Nicaise felt uneasy for the majority of the next day. He went through the motions of being fine, eating and drinking and reading, but he couldn't stop thinking about Terry. Why couldn't his birthday have been on a day when Nicaise had class?  
"You know he'll be over later," Damen said during dinner and Nicaise sighed.  
"Yeah but in what state?"  
Neither man had been able to answer him, so Nicaise had forced down half of his dinner before going through to his room to pace.  
It was almost half nine when he heard the door tentatively open and close. He looked over the back of the sofa and felt his heart stutter.  
Ter was standing at the edge of the room, a purple and red welt across his left cheek.  
"Could've been worse," he said sheepishly and Nicaise sighed.  
"Are you gonna let me clean you up or do you want one of those three?" Nicaise tilted his chin to where Laurent, Damen and Auguste were in the kitchen area.  
Ter shrugged, chewing his busted lip and Nicaise gulped.  
"Gus, give's the ice out."  
Nicaise walked over to the freezer where Auguste was still standing, apparently not having noticed Ter yet. Terry sat himself at the counter while Auguste rifled through one of the drawers.  
"This to kill another bone-" Auguste turned to give Nicaise the bag of ice but froze when he saw Terry. "What the fuck happened?"  
"I didn't get blind drunk and my dad apparently didn't like being the only drunk ass in the house." Terry said it too casually and Nicaise felt something inside him throb. This wasn't fucking fair. Or right. Or anything remotely related to those things.  
He took the ice off of Auguste, putting it into a cloth Laurent silently handed over before gently holding it against Terry's cheek.  
"You're staying here as long as you can," he said and Terry made a noise in the back of his throat. Nicaise assumed he was agreeing.  
"Thanks," Terry murmured, and Nicaise realised he had meant it for all of them. He kissed the older boy's forehead gently, keeping one hand on the ice pack and his other at the back of Terry's neck.

.......

  
By the time next Friday came around, Terry's face was almost healed. He had stayed at the penthouse for a week but would head home on Sunday. None of them were happy about it but Nicaise didn't want Terry getting in more trouble for staying away for too long.  
Now they were both in his room, textbooks and notes spread out around them but Nicaise couldn't study. They had talked about it and agreed to have a go at third base tonight and Nicaise had let Laurent know. Laurent had originally been planning on doing a Skype meeting that night but had decided Auguste could do it instead so he would be free all night in case Nicaise panicked.  
That had been two hours ago.  
Nicaise groaned, shoving his books away and sitting up so he could see Ter beside him. "Are we done pretending to study yet?"  
Terry smirked, rolling onto his back. "Yeah, we're done with that."  
"Thank fuck," Nicaise murmured. "You still up for this?"  
"Yeah. Are you?"  
"Yeah," Nicaise said and Terry smiled.  
"Good," the older boy said quietly. He reached out and tugged at Nicaise's top to bring him closer before playing with his hair gently. "I was looking some stuff up online the other day," he started and Nicaise hummed quietly, leaning into Terry's hand. "I found this site that's like run by people who went through shit as kids, and some of it is their bad experiences with sex after once they're a bit older but then they've got posts about how to make it into a positive thing and how to actually see it as a good healthy thing." He paused and Nicaise smiled, waiting for him to go on. "Something that they all said helped them was a traffic light system."  
"What's that?" Nicaise murmured as Terry kept playing with his hair.  
"It's like a safeword. So green is good, totally chill, go ahead, keep going, all that stuff. Then yellow is like hang on, wait, pause, if you need a break or a bit to catch your breath or if something is starting to upset you but you're not sure what. And then red is stop - like that's it, stop, no, it's not gonna happen this time, you're done for tonight. If you say red that's it, I'll stop and I won't ask again until you bring it up next time."  
Nicaise nodded slowly. "That makes sense. So green is good, yellow is pause, red is stop?"  
"Exactly. And I'll say it as well - if you start to tense up or I think you're starting to get upset I'll say yellow, just to pause so we can figure out what colour you are. But if you go into a panic attack or I think you've gone into one I'll say red and that's it for tonight."  
Nicaise swallowed. "Alright."  
Terry smiled softly and pulled Nicaise down to kiss him. Nicaise hesitated, pulling back slightly. "You're not gonna be mad if I say yellow or red, right? Or if I go into a panic attack and you have to say it?"  
"I promise I won't be mad or upset or annoyed or anything like that," Terry whispered. "I'll be proud."  
Nicaise frowned and he could feel his face scrunching up. "Proud?"  
"Yeah, proud," Terry said, smoothing his fingers over Nicaise's cheekbones. "I'll be proud of you for admitting you've had enough or that you're not ready yet. I won't be upset about that, I promise."  
Nicaise smiled weakly and kissed Ter. He let the other boy lead, and didn't try to speed them up. Instead he let Ter set the pace, which was much slower than Nicaise was or had been used to. When Ter gently pulled at Nicaise's top he took it off quickly before kissing along Terry's jaw, trying to undo the guy's loose button-up.  
Once they'd both gotten their tops off, Terry pulled away slightly and gestured up at the bed. "Move," he breathed and Nicaise was already scampering off of the floor where they'd both been sprawled with their notes and up onto the bed, Terry right behind him.  
Terry took his jeans off, smirking when he saw Nicaise watching. Before Nicaise could form a coherent thought Terry was tugging his jeans off too, dropping them on the floor and climbing on top of Nicaise.  
"Colour?" he asked quietly, and Nicaise took a second before realising what he meant.  
"Green," he murmured. "You?"  
"Green," Terry said before he started kissing and sucking down Nicaise's neck and shoulder. Nicaise whimpered, tugging Terry's hair so much it probably hurt but the guy didn't complain. The more Nicaise tugged his hair the harder Terry sucked and bit along his skin until Nicaise was almost completely incoherent. Terry was being careful to keep space between their hips and Nicaise knew it was to keep the pace slower but he really didn't care anymore.  
Nicaise rolled them over so he was straddling Terry.  
"Didn't anyone tell you patience is a virtue?" Terry asked and Nicaise rolled his eyes, grinding against Terry and grinning when the guy muttered under his breath.  
"Patience can go fuck itself," Nicaise said quietly before yelping as Terry pushed him onto his back so they were back to how they'd started except Nicaise's head was at the edge of his bed this time.  
Terry slid his hands round to Nicaise's ass, squeezing gently as Nicaise nipped at his earlobe. Nicaise whined when Terry stopped grinding against him, and Terry laughed lightly, putting a hand on Nicaise's hip to hold him down. Nicaise barely registered Terry's gentle "Easy," before he felt the guy's fingers brush against his hole.  
"Wait - yellow."  
Terry's hands and fingers disappeared and Nicaise let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.  
"What's wrong?" Terry asked and Nicaise swallowed. He couldn't look at Terry's face when he answered.  
"Think my ass is still red the now," he whispered, eyes trained on Terry's toned stomach. "But I think holding my hip down is yellow."  
Terry nodded in Nicaise's peripheral vision.  
"Alright."  
Nicaise glanced up at Terry's tone. He didn't sound annoyed or irritated or mad, even though they were both hard and Nicaise could see a small wet patch on Terry's boxers.  
"Is it really?" he heard himself ask.  
"What?"  
"Is it really alright?" Nicaise's gaze went down to Terry's thighs. He didn't deserve to look any higher.  
"Hey." Terry gently stroked Nicaise's cheekbones and Nicaise realised belatedly he was crying silently. Fuck. Terry gently tilted his chin up but Nicaise couldn't bring himself to look him in the eye.  
"Of course it's alright. It's more than alright, Nico."  
Nicaise gulped before realising there was a hint of bile-  
"Laurent!" Terry's voice was piercingly loud in the quiet room but Nicaise barely heard him. He was too busy trying not to gag-  
**_"You worthless piece of shit," Richard growled, forcing Nicaise's head back until it hurt. Nicaise automatically looked up but the man slapped him hard across the face, hand whipping out to grip his chin and force his head back too soon. "You think you're worth anything? You think you're good enough to look me in the eye? After you fucked up that much? You think you deserve anything?" Richard forced Nicaise's mouth open and spat in it, clamping his giant hand over Nicaise's mouth and forcing him to swallow. His next words were a growl. "You deserve to be taught a lesson."_**  
-"Nuca!"  
Nicaise jolted, coming back to the present with a start.  
Laurent was kneeling on the edge of the bed, and somehow Nicaise was lying on his side.  
"Nuca, I need you to breathe," Laurent said, voice gentle but firm. "In through your nose," he coaxed and Nicaise tried to do as he was told. "Out through your mouth."  
Nicaise hiccuped and caught his breath. He got a few breaths in before he felt his chest start to expand normally and he swallowed. A hand rubbed circles on his back and Nicaise relaxed slightly.  
"You done good this time," Laurent said quietly and Nicaise looked up.  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah," the man agreed. "You didn't even throw up."  
Nicaise smiled weakly, suddenly exhausted. Terry was still there beside him - had he been there the whole time? - and Nicaise curled up against the other boy's side, still focusing on his breathing.  
"You done so good Nico," Terry murmured against his hair, arm snaking around to hold Nicaise closer. "I'm so proud of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs -  
> Casual sex - My darkest days  
> White horse - Taylor Swift  
> Greenhithe- 5SOS


	7. June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise gets to see old pictures of his family, Ter gets to laugh at Auguste, but then Nicaise falls into old habits before deciding to try to get rid of all his skeletons from his closet at once and it sends him into severe flashbacks and panic attacks; Ter and Laurent calm him down together and take care of him as best they can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for -  
> Flashbacks  
> Graphic child rape  
> Graphic child abuse  
> Grooming  
> Panic attacks  
> Puking  
> Triggers  
> I'm not sure what else but if you need anything else tagged let me know please

"Hey," Damen said and Nicaise hummed in acknowledgment. He was bent over four different journals, trying to finish his notes so he could get the last part of his essays done but he still had to study for his math and chem tests which were in less than twelve hours. Fuck.  
"You ready for a break yet?"  
"I wish," Nicaise sing-songed and Damen laughed.  
"Half an hour?"  
"Forty minutes," Nicaise decided and Damen made a noise in his throat.   
"Alright."  
Nicaise went back to his notes while Damen went back upstairs. The man went up and down a few times in the amount of time it took Nicaise to justify giving up with studying.  
"What are you doing anyway?" Nicaise asked as he shut his books and piled them up. Damen had put half a dozen cardboard  boxes on the living area floor, some big enough for Nicaise to sit in while others were shoebox size.  
Damen laughed breathlessly as he put another box down, looking over at Nicaise with a grin.  
"Laurent told me to throw out some old clothes of his that he found in the attic but I found all this at the same time so we may as well go through it."  
"What is it all?" Nicaise looked at the dust-coated boxes as if he could see through them.  
"Photo albums, probably family videos, horrific school photos... all that gold stuff."  
Nicaise grinned. "For both of you?"  
"Both of us, Gus, Kastor, there's probably some of Jo in here somewhere."  
Nicaise grinned, hopping off the stool and padding over to the nearest box. He paused with his hand over the folded tabs. "Is there anything I'm not meant to see?"  
Damen chewed his lip, looking over from where he was kneeling next to one of the smaller boxes.  
"I'm honestly not sure," he said and Nicaise nodded.  
"Alright." He opened the box, grinning as soon as he saw the small Man-U kit sitting on top. "Motherload." He held it up to Damen, who groaned. Nicaise laughed, putting it down at his side and rifling through the box of Damen's childhood novelties.  
Nicaise was flipping through an old photo album of Damen and his family when the door opened and a grinning Auguste came in with Terry on his heels.  
"And what exam did you say it was for?" Auguste asked.  
"Anatomy and Physiology," Terry said and Nicaise frowned. That exam was tomorrow, at the same time as his calc one. Nicaise was hoping the college would be shut, since the heatwave was meant to surpass record levels tomorrow and everyone was already under an amber health warning for heatstroke.  
"Ah," was Auguste's reply and Nicaise assumed this conversation was on a loop of sorts. "When is it?"  
"Tomorrow. So if you're up to helping me cram for it it'd be really helpful."  
Auguste smirked, easily lifting a large box off of the sofa so he could sit down before looking back at Ter.  
"And what would I be doing to help you cram? Flashcards? Reciting? Quick-fire questions?"  
"I mean you could do all that too if you think it'll help. But I was thinking more of a physical study session would be better at ramming it into my head."  
Nicaise choked on his saliva and Damen laughed.  
Auguste grinned wider. "Nice try, kid. But it's flashcards and reciting or nothing."  
Ter hummed, leaning against the barstool. "Do we both have to keep our clothes on for that? Technically there could be a compromise in there somewhere."  
Nicaise made some sort of inhuman noise and Damen snorted.  
"We would both be keeping our clothes on," Auguste replied easily.  
"Even if I need an example of muscle groups?" Ter pleaded and Auguste quirked an eyebrow.  
"Remind me why Nuca isn't your go-to model for Anatomy and Physiology cramming?"  
"He's got three essays due this week and a math test tomorrow," Ter said. "He's far too busy."  
Auguste smirked, seemingly unphased by Ter's blatant flirting.  
"Fair enough. But if I'm helping you, it's paper and verbal only."  
Ter pouted.  
"I've seen him naked," Nicaise heard himself say. Why did he sound so fucking pouty? "You're not missing much."  
Ter raked his eyes over Auguste's body slowly and Nicaise cringed. "Nico," Ter sighed, "we both know that's one of the biggest lies you've ever told."  
Nicaise groaned, going back to Damen's embarrassing photos. When he turned the page he froze, feeling himself grin slowly.  
"Oh," he said, "my fucking god."  
Damen looked over at him and Nicaise turned the album so the man could see the photos. He groaned and Nicaise giggled, looking back at the faded glossy images.  
A young Damen, probably 15 years old was standing next to an equally awkward 15 year old Nikandros. They were in some sort of Halloween costumes but Nicaise couldn't stop staring at how bad their hair was. He flipped through the next few photos, all of Damen and Nikandros in their midteens and looking awkward as fuck. There were a few of Jokaste with far too much eyeshadow on but most of them were of the two boys.  
"And to think," Auguste drawled, "you wanted in his pants."  
Nicaise spluttered. "In my defense he looks nothing like that now."  
"Uhhuh," Auguste said with a grin. "Keep telling yourself that."  
Groaning, Nicaise put the album on the floor.  
"You're evil," he muttered, before glancing over at Ter who was still leaning against the barstool. There was something different about him but Nicaise couldn't figure it out. His hair was still the same annoyingly gorgous chestnut and his eyes were still green, he still had a slight tan and that cocky smirk was still there. He was still in skinny jeans, cartoon strip BK's, and a thicker hoodie.  
Nicaise felt his mouth go dry when he noticed the only difference.  Ter had two simple gold and black studs in his ears, two on each side.  
Ter looked over at him. "You alright Pastels?"  
Nicaise wet his lips before speaking. "When the fuck did you get your ears done?"  
"This morning," Ter said before that stupid cocky smirk turned into a stupid cocky grin. "Why, you like?"  
Nicaise was already moving across the room before Ter finished his sentence. The guy grinned, letting Nicaise shove him away from the kitchen and living area and down the hall to his room.  
"I'll take that as a yes," he said and Nicaise pushed him onto the bed, climbing onto his lap in almost one movement.  
"Take it as whatever you want," he heard himself say before he was snogging Ter.  
At some point, their hoodies, tops and jeans came off. Ter's hands were already on Nicaise's ass and thighs, tugging him closer as they ground against each other.  
"Fuck," Nicaise choked, trying to pull back so he didn't cum in his pants.  Ter easily pushed Nicaise onto his back, shoving his own boxers down enough to take his cock out and started jacking himself off. Nicaise barely had time to choke on his own breath before Ter was cumming across his chest.  
"Terry, shit fuck," Nicaise heard himself babble before Terry was pulling his boxers down and started sucking him off sloppily. He had barely gotten two sucks before Nicaise was cumming, choking back a scream.  
Terry swallowed once before pulling back and jacking him off, spraying both of their chests.  
Once he was done, Ter flopped down onto his back beside Nicaise, both of them panting.  
"Next time," Ter murmured, "don't try  to stay quiet. I like hearing you."  
Nicaise swallowed, nodding weakly.  
"Ok."  
Before he could say anything else, Auguste knocked on the door. "If you rabbits are done, Damen found old photos of Laurent."  
Nicaise grinned, and they both got dressed quickly, pulling hoodies on over their chests and Ter smirked at the mess on Nicaise's chest but didn't say anything. Nicaise flipped him off and they headed up the hall.  
"How bad are they?" he asked and Damen handed over a thick white photo album in reply. Nicaise flipped it open and stared. Auguste was around ten or eleven, holding a tiny Laurent in his arms. Laurent was in some sort of onesie while Auguste was in horrific pajamas.  
"Oh fuck," Nicaise laughed, hauling Ter and the album over to the sofa.  
"No way," Ter said as soon as he saw the photo. He looked up at Auguste and then back at the photo. "No bloody way."  
Nicaise laughed. "Still want in his pants?"  
Ter grimaced, looking back up at Auguste as he leant against the kitchen island.  
"You know, I thought you could pull anything off, including me. But you looked horrific in those pajamas."  
Auguste smirked and shrugged. "It gets worse before it gets better," he said and Terry groaned. Nicaise giggled, flicking to the next page.  
A few pages later, Nicaise squinted at the man standing behind Auguste and Laurent. Auguste looked about fifteen or sixteen while Laurent was around five. The man behind them looked enough like Richard to make Nicaise pause but his hair was golden, not brown. And his eyes were a warm blue.  
"Is that your dad?" Nicaise asked, turning the album so Auguste could see.  
Auguste smiled when he saw the photo. "Yeah, that's the old man."  
"What's he like?" Ter asked, looking between Auguste and Nicaise.  "Or was like?"  
"Was," Auguste said quietly. "He was awesome. Always laughing and joking, always there for us as much as he could be, especially after mum died - she died a little after Laurent was born, some sort of complication during the birth. I kinda expected dad to lose himself in the company and work after that and leave me and Laurent with our asshole uncle but he didn't, he really stepped up to the mark."  
Ter smiled faintly. "Can I ask what happened to him?"  
"He died in a bad car crash about ten years ago," Auguste said quietly. "Laurent was thirteen, I was twenty four. But I was studying abroad so didn't find out til a few days later - by the time I got back Laurent was already living with our goat fucking uncle. I don't know what happened while he lived there other than what he said to the police and jury at the trial and I'm not gonna pretend otherwise. But for the first year it was really hard to get any contact with him, then just before his fifteenth our uncle basically handed him over. I still don't know why and I haven't asked."  
Nicaise hummed quietly. He had a pretty good guess at what had changed.  
"I got Laurent back just after his fifteenth, and put him right into family therapy and then he sent himself off to residential college and uni. I still kinda wish our old man had been around to see him actually grow up - especially when he started fighting for Nuca."  
"I think he would've been proud of yous," Ter said quietly and Auguste smiled at him.  
"Thanks, Ter."

...

Nicaise nuzzled against Ter's chest. He could still taste cum in his mouth and feel it down his throat. It always brought an odd sense of calm with it - it wasn't the taste cause fuck some guys didn't taste nice but Terry did. Maybe it was just that. He wasn't sure.  
Ter was silent as Nicaise let himself fall asleep, curled up against the older boy's chest.

...

Stretching, Nicaise automatically reached out and frowned when the space next to him was cold.  
"Terry?" he murmured, opening his eyes and sitting up when he noticed the bed was empty. He got out of bed and checked his bathroom, but that was empty as well and clearly hadn't been used since the night before.  
Frowning, Nicaise opened one of his bedroom doors and started quietly up the hall, ignoring the dry cum on his chin. He could hear the sounds of someone tapping their feet against the step on a barstool in the kitchen area. Nicaise ran his fingers over the smooth wall, trying to be quiet. He didn't even know what time it was. But shit if Damen and Laurent were blowing in the kitchen again-  
"Laurent?"  
Nicaise paused, listening. Ter sounded timid; he hadn't sounded like that in months.  
"Can I ask you something about Nico?"  
"Aren't you better off asking him?" Laurent drawled, voice slightly faint.  
"I'm not sure he would know the answer," Ter said and Nicaise frowned. What the fuck?  
There was a pause before Laurent presumably gestured and Ter spoke up again.  "That asshat groomed him, didn't he?"  
"Yes," Laurent replied. Nicaise was completely frozen by the wall, barely even breathing.  
"Did he train him to act or behave a certain way?" Ter hedged and Nicaise could imagine Laurent pursing his lips.  
"That's generally how grooming works, yes."  
"No," Ter said, "I mean..." He sighed. "Last night I had a wet dream but Nico woke me up part way through. At first I thought he'd had a nightmare or something cause his eyes just looked so big. But he said he didn't, and that he couldn't get to sleep with me - uhm - talking in my sleep next to him and that he had to get me off. He sounded like... like he was in a rush or something so I thought he was actually really horny or he'd had a dream too but didn't want to say about it. I was about to let him but then asked why he had to wake me up cause it had been a good dream. He said I'd gotten him really hard and he'd felt wrong just listening to me which I thought was fair but when he moved he barely had a semi. I asked him what was really going on and said if he'd had a dream or nightmare it was ok he didn't have to tell me about it but he said he hadn't even gone to sleep yet. When he started getting me off I got him to stop cause there was just something- something off about him. Like he wasn't completely there or something. I asked why he'd woken me up cause obviously he knows that if he'd left me sleeping then I would've gotten off anyway. He said he wanted to take care of it for me rather than me having to do any of the work myself. He said it's what I deserved. I started to say no and that it was ok because he really didn't seem like himself but he froze and when I went to touch his face he flinched like I'd slapped him or something. Fuck he looked so guilty and his breathing changed like he was gonna be sick or something, but it wasn't the same as when he went into the panic attack before. I asked him what was wrong and he said..."  
Nicaise couldn't breathe. Fuck fuck fuck. He covered his nose and mouth as Ter kept talking in the next room.  
"He said he didn't want me to be disappointed in him. I didn't know what to do - I thought if I didn't let him get me off then he'd actually have a panic attack or a mood drop or something but it didn't feel right letting him get me off either." Ter sighed and when he spoke again his voice was smaller.  
"He said he needed it, and he looked so fucking upset so I let him. I mean it was that or I would've had to have done it anyway cause it wasn't going away but I thought if I didn't let him then something worse would happen. After, he seemed slightly more normal but a lot more timid than I think I've ever seen him. He fell asleep but I stayed up the rest of the night watching him cause I thought he was gonna have a nightmare."  
There was a slight clanging as Laurent put a cup in the sink and Nicaise tried to focus on that. The wall was cool and smooth against his skin as he leant against it, trying to remember how to breathe.  
"Yeah, he got trained like that," Laurent said quietly. "My uncle kept him like a slave or a house servant. He got taught that his own needs didn't matter and that he had to serve instead - if he noticed the man was horny or turned on, he had to offer himself up.  If he didn't offer to get him off, he got punished. If he got him off he got told how good he was and how perfect and beautiful and all that bullshit. But he never got to get himself off or finish without permission. And after he always had to be the one to clean up and look after the man, whether that was telling him how much he needed him or getting him something to drink or anything else, Nuca had to do it or he got beaten and starved. If he was awake and the man had a wet dream Nuca had to wake him up and get him off because a dream wasn't good enough apparently."  
The room was silent for a few seconds until Ter let out a shaky breath.  
"Fuck." And then, "What was I meant to do?"  
Laurent sighed and Nicaise heard footsteps and a slight creaking as he sat on one of the bar stools.  
"I think you did the right thing. If you had managed to get him not to, he would've stayed awake the rest of the night waiting for you to change your mind or punish him somehow."  
Ter's voice sounded slightly stronger when he answered "Ok."  
Laurent sighed. "He's still got a lot of habits from that guy - grooming isn't easy to undo. It's been over a decade and I still fall back into habits from it but Damen really works to separate them from the memories. And I was only there half the amount of time Nicaise was. The further you two go the more habits will come back to him. But you have to distinguish between good and bad ones. Bad ones will set him off, and I honestly don't know what they'll be because he got groomed differently than I did, or how bad his reactions will be to them. But good ones will comfort him - like cleaning you up, probably some sort of praise or reassurance, letting him get as close as he wants after. It'll take a lot of work and time for both of you."  
Ter paused before answering. "I think I know some of them - he already cleans me up, and almost always makes sure I finish first - when he doesn't he kinda looks guilty but it's like his high doesn't kick in til after I'm done. And he used to be kinda surprised when I got him off, like he didn't expect me to want to or something."  
Nicaise gulped, resting his head against the wall and focusing on his breath. There was no bile in his throat or tightness in his chest. Fucking hell.  
"What am I meant to do when he's like that?" Ter asked quietly as Nicaise rested his hand against his own throat, feeling his pulse.  
"If you're not comfortable with him getting you off when he's like that, try just putting your fingers in his mouth, but not far enough to make him gag. It should be a good enough compromise, at least until he's in a good enough head space to be able to talk about it."  
Nicaise swallowed, taking a breath.  
"Alright," Ter said quietly. Everything was silent and Nicaise was about to move away from the wall when Ter spoke again and he froze. "I was just so scared."  
Nicaise could imagine Laurent cocking his head before Ter continued.  
"I didn't want to take advantage of him like that - like there was something about his face, the way he was talking that was just so hot? I'm not are what was so different about it but fuck. But... it would be so easy for me to just encourage him? Like he's already trained like that so it would be so easy to just - keep it up? But I'm fucking terrified of doing that even by accident cause then I wouldn't be any better than that asshat."  
"Terence," Laurent said lowly, "you're so much better than him. You are nothing like that bastard. You do know that, right?"  
"Yeah," Ter murmured. "I know. I just..."  
"Yeah," Laurent said quietly.  
Nicaise walked around the corner of the wall at the same time as Ter spoke up again.  
"And I was so fucking scared of Nico too - what he'd do if I tried to say no again."  
Nicaise froze.  
Laurent froze in the middle of opening his mouth to answer Ter.  
Ter turned around, freezing when he saw Nicaise frozen at the wall of the living area.  
"Nico-"  
Nicaise didn't realise he had moved until he tripped over his own feet and stumbled against the wall. He was walking backwards back down the hall, eyes locked on Ter who was about 6 feet in front of him.  
"You were scared of me?" Nicaise asked. Was he shouting or whispering? Was there even a difference? "Of what I'd do to you if you said no?"  
Ter's eyes widened and he took a few quick steps closer to Nicaise but Nicaise backed up quicker.  
"No, Nico. Not like that. Fuck, not like that. I knew you weren't gonna hurt me - you never could and I know that. I didn't mean it like that."  
Nicaise could feel his stomach tightening.  Fuck. Richard had said he'd turn out just like him - he was so easy to train and so obedient it would be almost impossible for him to grow up and be a good normal boy. He'd always be a monster with an angel fa-  
"Nicaise!"  
Ter was barely six inches away from him, and Nicaise was against the wall. His mouth tasted like salt - fuck was he crying? He couldn't breathe-  
"Nico, I really need you to look at me, ok?"  
Nicaise blinked, trying to focus on Ter's blurry face. He had a hand in Nicaise's curls, gently carding through them and forcing his head up,  keeping him upright so he couldn't crumple. Fuck.  
"Good," Ter murmured and Nicaise automatically focused on his expression. He was smiling faintly, running his fingers across the bit just behind Nicaise's ears. "You're doing good, Nico. I need you to breathe though, ok? In... out. Remember to make a noise when you do it though, yeah? Try again. In... out. Good," Ter murmured, and Nicaise felt himself preen against the older boy's hand. He followed Ter's breathing instructions until he had his breath back.  
"That's better," Ter said softly. "You alright?"  
Nicaise swallowed, breathed. He nodded slightly. Ter raised an eyebrow at him.  
"Sure? Pretty sure the Nico I know would've had some sort of snarky bitch remark to that."  
Nicaise weakly made a biting motion at Ter's face, his teeth barely clicking against each other. When he did, Ter smirked.  
"Good boy." He said it in a completely patronising tone, like he was talking to a dog. Nicaise scoffed, swatting at him to move back. Ter took an exaggerated step back before stopping and putting his hands in his pockets.  
"You fucker," Nicaise said. It wasn't as strong as he needed it but it was something.  
"Go for a shower," Ter suggested. "You look like shit."  
"I still look better than you," Nicaise muttered and Ter rolled his eyes.  
"In your dreams."  
Nicaise turned and went into his room, pushing the door over half way behind himself as he headed for the wetroom.  
He heard Ter's voice and walked quieter, but couldn't make out what he said. There was a pause before Laurent answered.  
"Yeah," he said. He sounded happy. Curious. Proud. "Yeah, that's how you turn negatives into positives."  
Nicaise turned the shower on.

...

Ter ran his fingers through Nicaise's hair gently and Nicaise tilted his head up to look at him.  
"We good?" Ter murmured and Nicaise smiled weakly.  
"Yeah," he said. "We're good."  
It had been over three hours since Nicaise's near-meltdown and shower. Ter had stayed in the hallway the whole time, waiting in case Nicaise broke down in the wetroom. When Nicaise had came out of his room in his fluffiest duck-foot onesie Ter had taken him through and made him brunch. Laurent and Damen had stayed with them for almost two hours before they'd headed up to get dressed for the day since they needed groceries and Damen was due at a lunch meeting in half an hour. Luckily classes had been canceled due to a red health warning but apparently business meetings were too important to call off at the risk of a lowly heartattack.  
"Nico," Terry  murmured into Nicaise's hair. "It's completely fine if you don't wanna answer this but what - what was it about him that made you stay?"  
Nicaise felt himself freeze. It felt like forever before he was able to force himself to look back at Ter. When he did the other boy was already watching him carefully.  
"I don't know," Nicaise whispered. "At first he was really nice and kind and everything I thought I wanted.  He always bought me stuff. But then after he started hurting me I guess I thought - I thought I deserved it. And that it was normal? I hadn't had a decent foster family, they'd all been abusive or neglecting in some way. And the group homes weren't much better. The rest of the time I'd spent on  the streets. I had no idea what was right and wrong and what was a red flag and what was normal. And he kept me isolated that whole time - I didn't go to school until I got put back in the system after Laurent got me away from him. He taught me to read and write and look after myself and him but that was it. I didn't need to know anything else. Everything seemed so simple. He said he loved me and I honestly loved him."  
Nicaise laughed hollowly.  "It's so fucking dumb in hindsight - I let him rape and groom me because he bought me designer toys and didn't send me to school."  
Terry moved his arm to around Nicaise's shoulders and pulled him up until they were in an awkward tangle of limbs sitting on top of each other.  
"It's not dumb," Terry said as he wiped the tears off Nicaise's face. Fuck he hadn't even realised he was crying again.  
"I still love my parents. I always have. I don't know if I always will but there's always going to be some sort of feeling there for them. They're my parents - they beat me senseless and have put me in hospital lots but they've also held me while I cried and let me sleep in their bed if I had nightmares as a kid. I'm always going to resent them for treating me like shit but I love them for the good memories."  
Nicaise gulped and Terry smiled sadly. "It's ok to have good memories of him, Nico. The bad ones will always be there but there were some good ones too. And that's alright. Whatever they make you feel is alright."  
Nicaise curled into Terry's side, wrapping round him like a koala.  
"Is it really alright?" he heard himself whisper as Terry lay down on the sofa and wrapped around him.  
"Yes," Terry breathed. "It's always going to be alright."  
Nicaise ducked his head against Terry's shoulder. He tried to stop the tears but some of them were stubborn and kept running out.  
Upstairs the bedroom door shut and the sound of Laurent hurrying down the stairs with Damen on his heels echoed through the room. Nicaise didn't bother looking up when his brother started talking.  
"Bread, milk, biscuits, ice cream, som- what's wrong?"  
"Healing," Ter murmured. "Sometimes you have to break a bone for it to heal cleanly."  
Laurent paused before answering.  
"Are yous sure yous'll be fine til I'm back? Damen can pick it all up on the way home if you'd rather-"  
"Sweetheart," Damen cut in, using that tone he only used when Laurent was being a Dramatic fuck. "They'll be fine for an hour or so."  
Laurent huffed. "Alright," he muttered.  Nicaise waited until after the two sets of footsteps had left and the door had shut before lifting his head from Terry's shoulder.  
Ter smoothed Nicaise's curls off of his face. "Wanna put a movie on? Or I can help you with bio if you want. Or there's still a couple sheets in that math paper if you wanna go through them for me."  
Nicaise slowly shook his head, his thoughts spinning.  
"You said you have to break a bone for it to heal straight."  
"Yeah," Ter said. "If a bone breaks unevenly it sometimes won't heal right so doctors normally have to break it again but cleanly so that they can get it to heal right. Once it's healed it's stronger than before it broke. I kinda think that asshole is like a whole load of old uneven breaks and fractures in your skeleton - we have to rebreak them so that they'll have a chance to heal stronger."  
Nicaise chewed his lip. It made sense.  
"What of the old breaks get fractured before they heal?"  
"They're weak while they're healing so sometimes part of the bone breaks off and is too destroyed or too weak to be able to heal with the rest of the structure. That's normally when they start using steel rods to hold it all together. But I don't know what a metaphorical steel rod would hold together for you. I'm still working on that bit of the analogy," Ter said with a small smirk and Nicaise smiled slightly.  
"I think," Nicaise said slowly, "I know how to rebreak a lot of them at once - not all of them but a lot."  
Ter tilted his head. "Do you want to?" he asked quietly and Nicaise nodded slowly.  
"I think so."  
Nicaise uncurled himself from Ter and got off the sofa. "Stay," he said with a half-hearted point at the guy before he headed upstairs, his dotted duckfeet  squeaking slightly on the polished wood. He went along the hallway to Laurent and Damen's room, leaving the door open behind himself as he went in. The bed was still unmade which was rare - normally Laurent was picky about making it before they left for the day. Nicaise went over to Laurent's wardrobe, sliding the door open and crouching down. A month or so ago Damen had caved to Laurent's  complaints and they had gotten a sliding wall wardrobe each. It meant they had more space for clothes, which Damen had spluttered at because Laurent had also converted the spare rooms into walk-in wardrobes when they had first moved in. Clearly Laurent had won the argument though since the two far walls were sliding mirror doors.  
Nicaise rifled through the shoeboxes at the bottom until he found the white one, lifting it out and sliding the door shut again. Its weight still bothered him as he carried it out and back down to where Terry was still on the sofa in the exact same position Nicaise had left him in. Sap.  
"What's that?" he asked as Nicaise put the box on the leather cushion.  
"Everything from the case and trial," Nicaise whispered. He lifted the lid off, putting it on the floor before handing Terry the slim folder of photos. "They were all taken when he got arrested, after Laurent called the police. It was the last time I saw - saw him."  
Ter watched Nicaise for a few seconds before he took the folder, flipping it open and taking the pictures out. His fingers stilled when he realised what they actually were.  
"Nico why do you have crimescene photos?"  
"Cause they're mine," Nicaise said. "Laurent pulled a few strings." He didn't know if he said it out loud. Maybe it didn't matter either way. Ter slowly went through the photos, his eyes turning dark when he saw the forensics. He froze completely when he got to the photos of Nicaise's injuries, which had been taken at the hospital afterwards.   
"I wanna fucking kill that bastard," Ter growled and Nicaise gulped.  
"These are the notes and case files as well as the written confession and jury paper," he said, gesturing to one of the folders. "And that's the trial verbatim." He pointed to the thick folder. Ter nodded slowly as he put the photos back in their file and closed it.  
"What's all the other stuff?" he asked lowly and Nicaise took a breath.  
"That's the recordings from interrogations and meetings police and the different services had with - with him." He pointed at the CD case. "These are the recordings of the trial," he said as he held up two DVDs. "And these," he sighed. "Are - uhm... home videos."  
Ter's eyes snapped into Nicaise's face.  
"Home videos?" he echoed and Nicaise nodded slowly.  
"He liked making tapes," he whispered. "Sometimes just to watch back and jack off to - other times it was to shame and show me everything I was doing wrong. I got starved and fucked til I passed out and then woke up again if I got hard watching them or if I cried when he gave me in trouble for stuff."  
Ter looked like he was going to hit something but Nicaise didn't feel scared. He knew Ter would never try to hurt him.  
"He made tapes of me, Laurent and another boy - neither of us met him. He hung himself in the basement. But Ri- but he kept the boy's body, preserved it somehow and..." Nicaise swallowed, trying to ignore the bile in his throat. "And used him as a doll when he was bored."  
Ter flinched back. "Fucking hell."  
Nicaise nodded, bringing one knee up to his chin.  
"Yeah." He looked down at the floor as he pointed to the other case - the one with his own handwriting on it. "I made that one - it's all the stuff I thought was good about him. The presents. Christmas. My birthday. Easter. Day trips. Random stuff around the house - I think I filmed him feeding me a couple times cause it always made me feel special and looked after."  
Ter gulped, and Nicaise glanced up.  
"Why are you letting me see all of this?" he asked quietly and Nicaise had to take a few breaths before he could answer.  
"Because I wanna break my bones."  
Ter nodded heavily, understanding what Nicaise was saying.  
"Alright," he said.  
Nicaise took the first case over to the TV, taking the top disk out and put it in the slot at the side and grabbed the remote. He went to sat down but hesitated before handing Ter the remote and going over to the kitchen.  
"You sure you're gonna wanna eat during this?" Ter asked, frowning when Nicaise reached under the sink.  
"No," Nicaise said as he stood back up and went over to the sofa, basin in hand. "But I'm pretty sure I'm gonna puke at some point."  
Ter nodded and Nicaise put the basin on the floor next to the sofa before curling back up with Ter.  
"Ready?" Ter murmured and Nicaise nodded.  He watched as Ter pressed for the DVD to start and took a breath. Fuck.  
On the screen, a courtroom was in hyperfocus, and Nicaise could see Laurent's profile in the front row of the stands. The jury was already lined up, and the two lawyers were at their tables with papers and folders in front of them. The judge was in his seat at the head of the room.  
Nicaise watched as Richard was lead into the room, flanked on both sides by prison guards. He was in a suit and had clearly forked out the cash for a good lawyer, as the two men looked smug when they met eyes before Richard sat at the table nearest the camera.  
Ter's hand was on Nicaise's shoulders and Nicaise realised his breathing had hiccuped.  
"Easy," Ter said quietly and Nicaise nodded, trying to get a handle on his breath. It was another few seconds before Ter relaxed slightly and Nicaise looked back to the screen.  
Nicaise made it through half an hour of the trial before he started heaving.  
"Nico, breathe," Ter said but Nicaise could barely hear him over the ringing in his ears.  
"Don't fight it." Hands were on his back, rubbing in slow circles. "Nicaise please don't fight it. You're alright."  
Nicaise tried to gulp at the same time as the acid was trying to come up. He couldn't breathe. Fuck fuck fu-  
**_"You're so fucking weak," Richard growled in his ear, hand wrenching his hair. "Can't even take it up the ass without choking."_**  
 ** _Nicaise heaved, trying to get his breath back, trying to argue he could, he could, he could take it if Richard would just please let him up, let him lie down or ride him just please not upside down with his upper half hanging off the table, please plea-_**  
"Nicaise!" Ter was beside him again, trying to hold his shoulders but Nicaise couldn't let him, couldn't see him, couldn't breathe-  
**_"Take it like a good boy," Richard hissed as his hands clamped around Nicaise's hips hard enough to bruise. "Show me what a good boy you can be, Nicaise. Don't you want to be my good boy?"_**  
 ** _When Nicaise didn't answer immediately Richard hauled him up by his hair. "Don't you want to be my good boy, Nicaise?"_**  
 ** _"Yes," Nicaise gasped. "I'm you're good boy - I want to be your good boy," he said, trying to get it all out before he heaved again. Richard slapped him across the face._**  
 ** _"Good boy," he hissed, fingers tightening in Nicaise's hair even more as he came, and Nicaise tried not to cry at the feeling inside of him. "You're such a good boy," the man said as his fingers relaxed and carded through Nicaise's curls. "You're my good boy aren't you?"_**  
 ** _"Yes Master," Nicaise whispered, relaxing when Richard lifted him up into a sitting position on his lap, cock still in his ass. "I'm your good boy," he whispered, even though he could taste his own tear-_**  
_"Nicaise."_  
He blinked. Laurent's voice was near his ear, slightly crackled.  
_"Nicaise, can you hear me?"_  
Nicaise gagged but managed to choke out a rough "Yes."  
_"Good_ ," Laurent said. " _Now I need you to breathe. Alright? Can you do that for me?"_  
Nicaise spat. "Yeah."  
_"Good. Now do as I say. In through your nose. Slowly. And out through your mouth. Good. In..."_  
Nicaise followed Laurent's instructions, slowly getting his breathing close to normal.  
_"You're doing good, Nuca,"_ Laurent said and Nicaise gulped.  
"Laurent?"  
_"Yes, Nuca?"_  
"Where are you?"  
" _I'm in the car,"_ Laurent said and Nicaise focused on his voice. " _Ter called me when he couldn't calm you down quick enough."_  
Nicaise let out a shaky breath. "Ok."  
_"I'm not going to ask for details until I'm back,"_ Laurent continued _. "Ter, are you alright with keeping him calm now?"_  
"Yeah," Ter said and Nicaise glanced over, slowly coming back to himself. They were still on the sofa and Ter was beside him. Something wasn't right though.  
"Yeah, we're good," Ter was saying but Nicaise frowned. Why didn't the guy have his shirt on?  
" _Alright_ ," Laurent said. " _I'll only be ten minutes."_  
Ter hung up and put the phone in his pocket.  
"What happened?" Nicaise croaked and Ter looked up at him.  
"You started bolking and you were backing away like you were trying to climb the sofa and you kept kicking and flailing every time I tried to pull you back so you'd actually puke in the basin. You were shaking so fucking much. I called Laurent cause he had said before that when you go into a bad panic attack you throw up and stuff and I didn't want you going through that but you couldn't hear me and I had no idea what to do."  
Nicaise groaned quietly. "Fuck."  
Ter rubbed his back and Nicaise tried to focus on the feeling. "Why don't you have your shirt on?" he asked, frowning when Ter laughed slightly awkwardly.  
"Uhm it's gonna need washed but it'll be fine."  
Nicaise frowned before realising what Ter was trying not to say.  
"I fucking puked on you?"  
"Nico it's just a shirt," Ter said, holding onto Nicaise's shoulders to stop him backing away. "It's not the end of the world."  
Nicaise grimaced. "Still, it's humi-" He cut himself off and looked at Ter in horror. "I only puked right?" Fuck if he'd fucking wet himself again-  
"Yeah," Ter said. "You only puked. Nothing else, I swear."  
Nicaise relaxed slightly. "Ok," he breathed.  
Ter smirked. "I mean it was projectile vomiting but yeah still better than pissing yourself as well."  
Nicaise groaned. "You're fucking taking the mick, right?"  
"There's a reason I'm keeping you facing this way and not letting you topple over the edge of the sofa, Nico," Ter said with a slight grin and Nicaise shut his eyes.  
"No fucking way," he muttered and heard Ter laugh.  
"Just keep facing this way, yeah?"  
Nicaise looked up at him. "How bloody bad is it?"  
Ter looked over Nicaise's shoulder at the room as Nicaise realised 'this way' was with his back to the room and facing the wall. Fuck.  
"You can spew a rainbow, put it that way."  
Nicaise groaned, covering his face, hating that Ter's laugh still made him smile.  
The front door opened less than five minutes later and Nicaise heard Laurent's footsteps. He had closed his eyes after Ter had told him not to look to his side either.  
"Ok," Laurent said as he stopped at the entrance to the room. "What the bloody hell happened?"  
"After you left Nico took my 'you have to break a bone to heal it' a little too far and decided to try to break his whole skeleton at once by watching the video of the trial."  
Laurent swore.  
"He hiccuped a bit at the start but managed to calm down really quick. Then he lasted half an hour before he started bolking. I turned it off straight away and tried to get him to calm down but he was puking and backing up like a cat or something and choking it back down and wouldn't let me touch him so I called you around the same time he started trying to talk French while hurling chunks."  
Nicaise's eyes flew open. "I fucking spoke French?"  
"You were talking French for half the time Laurent was talking to you," Ter said and Nicaise felt his heart start pounding again. Not fucking Fren-  
"Nico, Nico, Nico," Terry said and suddenly his hands were on either side of Nicaise's face. "You went back to English and you've been speaking English the whole time since, ok?"  
Nicaise tried to focus on Terry's voice and hands but could feel himself slipp-  
"Nico, I need you to focus on me right now."  
Nicaise blinked, looking at Terry who was now pressing their foreheads together. "Alright? I need you to focus on me."  
Terry's green eyes were mossy, dark green with lighter flecks mixed in with even darker ones and some golden ones closer to the pupils.  
"Alright," Nicaise breathed. Ter looked like he was trying not to laugh.  
"Your breath smells like horse dick."  
Nicaise laughed and breathed on Ter's face, grinning when the other boy groaned and leaned back.  
"Fucking hell that's lethal."  
Nicaise smiled weakly and Ter kissed his forehead, ruffling his hair.  
"Laurent, you good through here or do you want a hand?"  
"No I'm good," Laurent said from behind him. "You two get in the shower."  
"Alright," Ter said before focusing on Nicaise again. "Nico do you trust me?"  
"You know I do," Nicaise murmured and Ter smiled.  
"Just making sure. Close your eyes and don't open them til you hear the shower cut on, yeah?"  
Nicaise grimaced but shut his eyes. A few seconds later he felt Ter's hands slowly moving him to turn around.  
"Don't put your feet down yet," he murmured. Nicaise let Ter guide him off the sofa and slowly across the room and down the hall until they were in his room and then the wetroom.  
"Can I take your clothes off before I put the shower on?" Ter asked.  
Nicaise nodded. "Yeah," he said. "Just - just don't touch anything."  
"Wasn't going to," Ter said gently and Nicaise tried to relax. The guy's hands were quick and efficient, getting Nicaise out of his onesie, making him hop a little bit to get the duckfeet off completely.  
"Ok," Ter said. "You good for staying there with your eyes shut til I put this on the machine with my stuff?"  
"Yeah," Nicaise said. He heard Ter go out the room and back up the hall. A few seconds later he padded back into the room with bare feet and pushed the door over a bit. Nicaise waited while he heard the guy pressing buttons and dials before the shower turned on.  
"Can I open my eyes now?" Nicaise asked.  
"Yes," Ter said before he lightly held Nicaise's shoulders and directed him under the water.  
Ter's hands were gentle as they washed Nicaise's hair, gently shampooing and conditioning it before he let Nicaise open his eyes completely.  
"One more thing," Ter said and moved away, grabbing Nicaise's toothbrush and toothpaste from the shelf a few feet away. Nicaise reached for the brush but Ter shook his head.  
"Open up," he said, tapping Nicaise's jaw. Nicaise opened his mouth and tried not to grin when he got a tablespoon worth of toothpaste squeezed into his mouth before Ter put the brush in. Obediently he brushed his teeth, spitting four or five times before Ter refilled his mouth with mint paste. After Nicaise spat for the twelfth time Ter decided his breath was decent and took the brush back while Nicaise rinsed the paste off his face.  
Nicaise let Ter wash them both before turning the shower off. They went through to Nicaise's bedroom and Ter got a large fluffy blue towel out before drying them both off.  
"When did you get bloody tall," Ter muttered as he dried Nicaise's hair and Nicaise laughed. At some point in the last few weeks he'd finally gotten a growth spurt and was almost eyelevel with Ter rather than chin. It was a nice change.  
"I'll be taller than you soon," Nicaise said and Ter scoffed.  
"In your dreams, short ass."  
Nicaise swatted at him and the towel but ended up pushing them both onto the bed.  
"My ass isn't short, thank you very much," Nicaise retorted and grinned when Ter gave him a very slow and pointed once-over.  
"Keep telling yourself that."  
Nicaise pushed them to roll over until he was on top. Ter smirked but obviously bit back the remark on his tongue. Instead he asked, "Which onesie are you having and which one do I get to steal this time?"  
Nicaise chewed his lip. "Can we stay like this for a bit?" he murmured, looking down at Ter's chest. He frowned slightly when the other boy lifted his chin up with a finger so their eyes met.  
"Sure," he said quietly. "Just let me know when you want clothes added to the mix." Nicaise smiled tiredly and got comfy on Ter's stomach, leaning back when Ter brought his legs up to lean against.  
The door opened a few minutes later and Laurent walked in holding a large bowl of porridge with two spoons in it. He raised an eyebrow at how they were sitting but didn't comment.  
"You two need to eat," he said while handing the bowl to Nicaise.  "Try and get about half each. Nuca if you feel sick try to keep eating til it passes," he murmured and Nicaise nodded.  
"What's the minimum for him to eat?" Ter asked quietly and Laurent looked at him then the bowl in Nicaise's hands.  
"Ten mouthfuls," he decided. "But don't scarf it."  
The two boys nodded and Laurent left, closing the doors behind himself. Nicaise started eating slowly, rolling his eyes when Ter only took one spoonful for every two Nicaise took.  
After they'd gotten through most of the oats, Nicaise moved to put the bowl on the floor and crawled up the bed, gesturing for Ter to get under the blanket too.  
"You still good with me being naked?"  
Nicaise thought about it before nodding slowly.  
"You feel different," he whispered and Ter smiled faintly, combing his fingers through Nicaise's curls.  
"Good," he murmured before they both got comfortable. Nicaise rested his head near Ter's chest, and didn't realise when he started to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter -  
> Dear John - Taylor Swift  
> Concrete Angel - Martina McBride  
> Read all about it *all parts* - Emile Sandi and Prof Green  
> I can sing a rainbow - unknown


	8. August

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise starts pre-law in the new school term, he and Ter mess around in chemistry, Sky gets a makeover, there's a fight or two and Nicaise ends up running to see Ter at the hospital at 10pm after getting a call from Laurent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for:  
> Implied underage sex   
> Horny & Thirsty Nic   
> Child abuse   
> Descriptions of injury from said child abuse   
> Pettiness   
> Mistakes   
> Hospitals   
> Mentions of surgery and broken bones  
> Police   
> Lying I guess / being a victim   
> Unhealthy coping habits   
> Panic attacks

Nicaise put his notebook and pens in front of him, messing around on his phone while he waited for class to start. It was his first day in his second year of college and he was sitting waiting for his first pre-law class to start. Thinking about it was surreal as fuck.   
**_Pay attention lawyer boy_ **  
Nicaise rolled his eyes - Ter hadn't stopped calling him that all week.  
 ** _Hypocrite Dr - nothing new there_** , he typed back and got a selfie of Ter flipping him off captioned **_"Maybe I should wear a uniform for you see if that shuts you up"._**  
 ** _Is that your way of asking me to suit up?_ ** Nicaise shot back before putting his phone down. Fucking prickhead.  
The tutor walked in and greeted them so Nicaise opened his notebook and turned his phone face-down on the table.

...

"Aw they didn't give you a suit and tie?"   
Nicaise laughed. He and Terry were in the canteen, waiting in line to pay. He'd spent all morning in pre-law while Ter had spent his between Nutrition and Bio. They both had Chemistry after lunch.  
"Nah, they don't hand them out til you survive the first year and sell your soul," Nicaise said nonchalantly and Ter nodded.  
"Of course."  
"Though if you're that desperate to see me in one I've got two at home. Not sure if they still fit though."  
Ter stopped walking and Nicaise almost walked into him.  
"Are you taking the bloody piss?"   
Nicaise smirked and Ter balked. "You're showing me them later."  
"Who's showing who what later?" Sky asked as she stopped next to them, ignoring the annoyed grunts from the people she skipped in front of. Nicaise barely recognised her when he looked over. Across the summer she had cut her hair short and gotten rid of the brassy tones and mismatched dye, settling instead for a professional platinum silver bob with a block fringe. The trashy skirts and tops had been swapped for vintage looking dresses with skater skirts. Instead of dumb stilettos she was in some sort of heeled trainers.  
When Nicaise looked back to her face he saw the heavy makeup had gotten replaced by pastel shades.  
"The fuck happened to you?"  
Skylar smirked and it was the only familiar thing about her besides the voice.   
"Could ask you the same thing," she drawled. "When did you get tall, Nuca?" As she spoke, Sky wrapped her arms round Nicaise's neck, going on her tiptoes slightly. Nicaise's hadn't realised how tall he'd actually gotten - he was eye-to-eye with Ter but of course Ter had been getting taller at the same time.  
"You two wanna come over for a movie marathon or something tonight? I haven't seen yous in weeks."  
Nicaise only half heard what Skylar said; most of his brain was preoccupied noticing she was in some sort of leotard thing underneath the dress. Fuck.  
"Nico?"  
Ter was already smirking when Nicaise looked over to him.  
"Yeah," Nicaise said. "Sounds good." Sky smiled and Ter rolled his eyes.  
"Great," Sky said, kissing Nicaise quickly before he could process her moving against him. "See yous at seven." She walked away before Nicaise could even think of tugging her back for a deeper kiss.  
When Nicaise looked over at Ter the guy was grinning.  
"What's happening at seven?" Nicaise murmured and Ter laughed.   
"I'm showing up at Sky's for a movie marathon and to interrupt your fucking session with her," he said as they headed over to a table. Nicaise wanted to flip him off but they both knew he was right.

...

They walked into class a few minutes late and the tutor - Gary, Nicaise thought he was called - raised an eyebrow at them.  
"Lose your watches?"  
"Our phones died," Nicaise said while messaging Laurent he probably wasn't going to be home tonight. Ter nodded at his side even though he still had Instagram open on his phone.  
Gary humphed, his beady eyes watching them as they made their way across the lab, not putting their phones away until they got to their table where two labs were set up. Nicaise raised an eyebrow at the man, who narrowed his eyes in return and Nicaise bet he could imagine most of the thoughts going through the old geezer's head right then.  
"As I was saying," he said to the class. "Today we will be performing a flame test along side your second lab in which you will use Tollen’s reagent to determine if we are testing an aldehyde or a ketone. Nicaise, would you like to tell us the difference between a ketone and an aldehyde?"  
Nicaise smirked. Idiot.   
"The difference is the presence of a hydrogen atom attached to the carbon-oxygen double bond in the aldehyde. Ketones don’t have this hydrogen. And the presence of that hydrogen atom makes aldehydes easy to oxidize."  
Gary glared at him but Nicaise knew he was right. This shit was always too easy.  
"Quite right," the man ground out and Nicaise smirked. Fucktard.  
"Would you like to hazard a guess to what the flame will prove of these elements, as well?"  
The man was obviously baiting him but Nicaise couldn't resist.  
"Obviously how they'll react based on their structure. When the atoms of a gas are excited by heating or by applying an electrical field, their electrons are able to move from their ground state to higher energy levels. As they return to their ground state, following clearly defined paths, they emit photons of very specific energy. Because of this you are easily able to determine what element they are by their given color signature since each element has an exactly defined line emission spectrum. As well as how hot you need to make the flames to produce a clear result. A combination of all of these results and levels will be how we determine which elements we're dealing with."  
Ter lightly stepped on Nicaise's toes and he forced himself to stop talking. Gary's glare ought to have scorched them both alive.  
"Yes," the man ground out after a few seconds of hairpin silence in the room. "Quite right." He turned to the rest of the room and Nicaise bit his cheek to stop from grinning. "Since Nicaise has just surmised my speech, we may as well begin. Any questions?"  
"If we have any we'll just ask Nuca," one of the girls said and Nicaise shot her a grin over his shoulder. She smirked back at him and Nicaise felt he should've dropped dead with a hole in his skull from how hard Gary was glaring at him now. Whatever. The bell-end didn't know shit and Nicaise was only in this class to spend time with Ter and because he needed another one to kill time on.  
"You're asking for it mate," Ter muttered and Nicaise ducked his head.  
"You gonna give it to me then?"   
Ter stepped on his toes again and Nicaise grinned.  
"Put that smart mouth to use and get us top of this bloody class," Ter grit out and Nicaise smirked. Ter was good at chemistry but they both knew Nicaise was better.  
"Feeling lazy today?"   
"More like I want in those pants before Sky gets first pick."  
Nicaise looked up, groaning when Ter shot him that stupid cocky smirk.  
"You're doing the writing," Nicaise said and Ter chuckled as he took his pad and pen out while Nicaise looked at the seven elements on metal palettes in front of them. There was a handful of metal sticks off to the side and Nicaise sighed. This was painfully easy.  
"First up," he muttered as he set the burner up and grabbed one of the sticks, dipping one end in the furthest element and gently rolling it before putting it down to set. "Any bets?"  
"Copper or zinc," Ter sighed and Nicaise nodded before he put the stick over the flame. It turned green almost instantly.  
"Copper," they both said and Ter scribbled it down.   
They continued through the elements, Ter scribbling down each one without Nicaise having to say a word.   
When they moved onto the next lab, Nicaise grinned.  
"I love this shit," he said as he took a dropper and began measuring out the substance.  
"Silver nitrate?" Ter asked. "Why?"  
"Cause it turns your skin black and stains it for days," Nicaise said, smirking while holding the dropper over the test tube and watching the silver hit the clear liquid.   
Out of the the corner of his eye he could see Ter scrambling to record how the substance began to take on a silver hue, almost like a mirror.  
"Only cause it's reacting with the metal in your skin," he said belatedly and Nicaise shrugged, moving onto the last part of the experiment. It was unfortunate their first test was the one they had wanted, now they were testing for nothing, really.  
Afterwards, Nicaise checked the clock and groaned. They still had over half an hour.  
Ter started writing down graphs and scales to put their results on more coherently while Nicaise idly fidgeted with another one of the rods. Everyone else was still working through the elements but Nicaise was bored as fuck. He started dipping the rod in each substance, combining them and allowing it to set in a solid ball on the tip.  
"The fuck?" Ter muttered and Nicaise shrugged.   
"Extra credit," he said before holding it over the burner. The flame flickered green, red, orange and yellow one after the other before it started streaking purples and blues. After a few seconds it settled into a flickering rainbow.  
"That's cool," Ter murmured, scribbling something down.   
"That's gay," Nicaise said and Ter laughed. He moved his notepad but hit the palette and vials at the same time. Nicaise bolted forward, dropping the rod on the table.  
"Ter, watch!" he yelped as Ter grabbed his notes. Nicaise grabbed for the bottle of silver nitrate which was now dangerously close to the edge, catching it just as it started to fall.  
"Thank fu-," he started but yelped and dropped the glass container. "Fuck!"   
Ter grabbed for it at the same time Nicaise tried to shove him back, but it was too late. He grabbed the bottle and put it back on the table before frowning and looking down at his exposed arms and hands.  
"Shit," he said and Nicaise flopped down on the stool. The silver nitrate had spilled on them both; where Nicaise had tried to grab it he had greying patches on his hands and Ter's arms were quickly matching.   
"I think we're done," Nicaise declared loud enough for Gary to look over at them while Ter desperately rubbed at their skin with spare bits of paper. Nicaise didn't bother telling him it was pointless. They both already knew it.  
"It's barely half way through class, Nicaise. I'm sure whatever social calling you have can wait until the class is over."  
Nicaise and Ter held up their blackened skin and Gary shook his head. "Alright. Wash up as best yous can and get out."  
They quickly washed up their station and rinsed their hands and forearms as best they could but Nicaise knew it was pointless. He grabbed his backpack and followed Ter across the class to the doorway.  
"And boys," Gary called and they both paused to look back at him. "Do try to wear gloves while eating, and maybe try using some cutlery, yes?"  
Nicaise grit his teeth and stalked out the room, Ter murmuring something and following after him.  
He knew there was a reason he hated that jerk.  
"You still going over to Sky's early?" Ter asked as they headed downstairs, ignoring the restrooms as they passed; any interest in fooling around before Nicaise saw Sky had gone out the window in that lab. Nicaise shot Ter a look he hoped said 'you're joking right?'  
"She had a leotard on under that dress, Terry. A fucking leotard. Of course I'm going over early."  
Ter rolled his eyes. "Right, dumb question. See yous at seven then," he said before going down the next flight of stairs and heading down the the basement while Nicaise walked over to one of the sofas in the Open Zone near the barrier to wait on Sky finishing whatever class she was in.

Almost an hour later Nicaise pushed Skylar up against the wall in the subway station. She laughed, putting her hand up before he could kiss her again.  
"Got something you wanna say?" she asked and Nicaise shot her an incredulous look.  
"You're kidding right?" He was pressed up against her and knew fine well she could feel how hard he was.   
Skylar shrugged, feigning an innocent look.   
"Either go take care of it yourself or wait till we get home."  
Nicaise blinked. "What?" Since when did Sky say-  
"No, Nuca," she said with a grin. "You really think I'm still that cheap girl who has sex in public?"   
Nicaise groaned quietly, resting his forehead against her shoulder.  
"Since when are you not that girl?"  
"Since I grew some class," she said against his ear before lightly pushing him away. "You should try it some time."  
Nicaise groaned but held his hands up and took a few more steps back from her. How was getting told no such a turn on? He started to head for the restroom but stopped when the voice overhead announced their train was about to board.  
"Fuck off," he muttered and Sky laughed, taking his hand and pulling him towards the platform.  
"Oh well."  
Nicaise glared and Sky grinned up at him. They got on the train, Nicaise pulling Sky towards one of the poles and putting her slightly in front of himself to cover how much he was showing. She raised a brow at him before shrugging and leaning against him. Within seconds Nicaise was regretting not getting one of the seats since Sky had her back pressed right up against him and kept shifting her weight as people walked past.  
"Sky," he hissed and she tilted her head back.  
"Nuca."  
"Please just hold still or I'm gonna lose it," Nicaise muttered against her ear. He hadn't felt this riled up since last summer. Especially not with her.  
Skylar sighed but stood still in front of him, holding onto the handrail. Nicaise still regretted his decision for the next twenty minutes, since his only views were either people's faces or down the front of Skylar's fucking dress. He held her closer when the train braked as it boarded the second stop, and Nicaise let Sky pull him through the crowd, keeping them both close together.   
Out on the street, Skylar started leading them along the highstreet but Nicaise pulled for them to go the other way.  
"No way am I lasting that long," he muttered when Sky raised an eyebrow at him. "We're taking the shortcut."  
"That desperate?" she teased but started walking the other way, down the highstreet to one of the alleys.  
"You already know that bloody answer," Nicaise hissed and she laughed.  
They cut through the alleys and down streets until they got to the Cross Section Auguste had picked Nicaise up at before.   
"Is your dad home?"  
"No, he won't be back till tomorrow. Some work trip, apparently," Sky said with a shrug. "We've got the place to ourselves."  
"Thank fuck," Nicaise breathed. He didn't have anything against the man but still, it felt better knowing he could make Skylar scream as loud as he wanted without having to deal with the awkward I-know-you-know-I-just-fucked-your-daughter atmosphere afterwards.  
As soon as they walked into the house Nicaise pushed Sky against the wall next to the door.  
"Patience," she scolded and Nicaise felt himself growl, which earned him a teasing grin. He let her push him back and walked backwards through the foyer, eyes locked on the blonde in front of him. She started taking her dress off, dropping it and stepping out, kicking off her shoes, and Nicaise barely managed not to whimper. Sky's leotard was some sort of black lacy mesh thing, covered in gold details. He just wanted to rip it off of her but also never take it off.  
"Fuck."  
She tilted her head at him, smirk teasing. "Is that a comment or a request?"  
"Sky," Nicaise whined, stopping when his legs hit against the sofa arm.  
"Yes?"   
"Stop teasing, please." Fuck why did he sound so whiney? Skylar smirked, stopping in front of him and Nicaise kissed along her shoulders and neck. "Please, just stop teasing," he whispered. Skylar hummed quietly, and Nicaise jerked when she started undoing his jeans.  
"Alright," she whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear. Before he could think of anything to say, Sky pushed him onto the sofa, grinning down at him. "Have it your way," she said.

...

Nicaise pouted when Sky flicked her nails against his shoulder and gestured for him to move.   
"But I'm comfy," he muttered. "And my legs will hurt if I move."  
"Baby," Sky muttered before moving her arm. Nicaise didn't register why until another body landed on the sofa a second later. He looked up at Ter before yawning and moving off of Skylar and over to him. Sky stood up but Nicaise had already shifted his focus to Ter.  
"When did you get here?"  
"A couple minutes ago," Ter said and Nicaise tilted his head slightly, smirking.  
"Enjoying the show?" he teased and Ter shrugged.  
"Some show; looked like Sky was doing all the work."  
"Clearly you got here too late."   
Ter grinned, ruffling Nicaise's hair up some more.  
"Must have," he said.  
Nicaise looked back over at Sky when she sat down on the sofa with the TV remote. She said something but Nicaise didn't hear it. He was too busy looking at the leotard she had put back on and the sheer robe she had on top.  
"Nico?"  
Nicaise blinked.   
"What do you think?" Ter asked.  
"Yeah, great," Nicaise said and Skylar laughed.   
"You're so sweet when you're horny out of your mind," she cooed and Nicaise rolled his eyes.  
"Fuck you too. What are we watching?"  
"You just agreed to all of the high school musical movies."  
There was a beat of silence as Nicaise stared at Sky before she and Ter burst out laughing.  
"Oh, you should have seen your face!"  
Nicaise groaned, grabbing his jeans and tugging them on.  
"Bloody shitheads, the both of you," he muttered before flopping back down on the sofa and stretching out, his feet on Ter's lap and his head on Sky's.   
"You actually agreed to all the Captain America's," Ter said and Nicaise nodded. Sky fiddled with the remote until Netflix came on and she found the first movie.  
Nicaise half payed attention to it, only realising he was focusing more on the movie than Sky's lace when he got torn back to their conversation.  
"That's gonna be you in a couple years, huh Ter."  
On screen, pre-experiment Steve stood back up from getting punched in the alley and shrugged at the larger man in front of him. **_"I can do this all day,"_ ** he said only to get punched again.  
Nicaise frowned, looking up at Sky.   
"Shut the fuck up."  
"What? It's true."   
Nicaise sat up. Ter was frowning but not saying anything.   
"What's true?"   
Skylar rolled her eyes and looked at them both. "He's his daddy's punching bag and we all know it. You probably let your mummy fuck herself on you cause your daddy can't keep it-"  
"Sky shut your fucking mouth!"   
"I thought you liked it when my mouth was open!" she shot back before fixing her gaze back on Ter. "Do your parents even know you're pan aro? I bet they'd be so disappointed to find out their son is a cheap ass whore -"  
"Are you fucking serious!"  
"What?" They were both screaming by now. "Are you pissed cause I'm not focusing on you? On all your daddy issues? Getting raised a spoiled brat only to have him die in some end-all crash and then get taken in by your rich-ass prancing brother? Do you want me to give you all the fucking attention? Cause last I bloody checked you like getting shared!"  
Nicaise just stared at her and she looked over his shoulder at Ter. "He's just a worthless punchbag and he'll be dead by the time he's twenty-one and you'll be whoring yourself out on street corners to make a living. Tough fucking shit."  
Nicaise turned away from her, grabbing his shirt off the floor and kneeling in front of Ter. The guy was completely zoned out, eyes unfocused as he stared at the screen in front of them. "Terry," Nicaise murmured, gently taking the guy's hand, trying not to wince when he flinched at the contact. Sky could burn in Hell. "It's just me, mate." He put Ter's hand in his hair, waiting until he felt fingers curling at his roots before sliding his shirt back on. "Come on," he said as he pulled them both to a standing position.   
Skylar laughed, loud and brash. "You're actually picking him over me? I knew you were a fucking fairy."  
Nicaise grit his teeth, whirling on her. "I'm not picking anyone over anyone and it's got nothing to do with whose pants I fucking prefer getting in so shut the bloody hell up."  
"Or what?" Sky challenged. "You'll hit me? That'd probably get him rock hard - you'd be big and strong like his daddy then. Maybe he'd let you raw his ass if you give me a belter."  
Nicaise looked at her. The hair and makeup and clothes were different but it was still the same girl. She could change the outside all she wanted but she'd still always be the fucking yapping bitch who had to have the last word.  
When he looked back to Ter, the guy was shaking and looking down at the floor.   
"Go on," Sky said. "Hit me. Fuck me. Show me how fucking strong and big you are. Let the crybaby go home. He's trash and doesn't belong in our fucking world."  
Nicaise started to step towards Ter but froze when the guy spoke.  
"She's right, Nico. Just stay here and finish the movie. It's-"  
"Don't say it's ok," Nicaise cut in. He looked back at Sky and gave her a once-over. "Piss off," he muttered before putting his arm round Ter's shoulders and leading him towards the door.  
He picked his bases and jacket off the floor, draping it over Ter's shoulders as they headed outside, leaving Sky screeching empty threats and insults behind them. Nicaise didn't care. She could say anything under the sun and he wouldn't care. All that mattered was that Ter was shaking beside him, all evidence of the cocky prickhead gigantithon having disappeared.  
They walked in silence til they got to the subway station and Nicaise sat down to put his bases on.   
"Why'd you do it?"  
Ter's voice was so quiet Nicaise barely heard him over the evening rush of people around them.  
"Do what?"  
"Walk out of there." Nicaise knew what he meant.  
"You mean why'd I pick you over her?" he asked and watched as Ter nodded slowly. "Cause she went way too far. I'm done with her, Ter. For good. I don't wanna be around someone who talks that way about my best friend. Or about me."  
Ter was looking at the cement floor and Nicaise swallowed. "For what it's worth, I think you are kinda like Cap. Not the punchbag thing," he said. "But the other side of it. You'd take a beating for someone else and you'd put yourself up as bait to save someone. And you'd do everything you can to save the day, even if it means losing the battle to win the war." Nicaise kept his eyes on the guy next to him, watching how still he had gone. "And I think that's really brave. Really fucking stupid but really fucking brave."  
Ter smiled slightly and Nicaise grinned.  
"You're so full of shit," Ter muttered and Nicaise shrugged.  
"I mean I haven't ate for a while but I guess-" He wriggled in his seat and Ter laughed, swatting at him.   
"You fucker."  
Nicaise smiled and leaned back, arm loosely around Ter's shoulders still. Their train boarded ten minutes later and they got on for the half hour ride, standing against one of the windows away from the crowd.  
By the time they got to the penthouse it was almost nine. Laurent and Damen wouldn't be home til eleven.  
"You've got two options," Nicaise said quietly as he took his jacket off Ter's shoulders and threw it to land somewhere in the living area. "We can either put on a horrifically happy movie until you feel better and I gag from how cheesy it is, or I can cheer you up some other way." As he spoke, Nicaise slid his hands into Ter's back pockets and nipped at his earlobe, twirling the studs around in his mouth. He'd quickly learned he loved doing that now that he could.  
Ter smiled weakly, hands running down Nicaise's back to his tailbone.   
"Nico, you're fucking gorgous and hot as fuck," he whispered and Nicaise shuddered slightly, holding himself back from preening. "But I think the movie is the safer option right now."   
Nicaise kissed his jaw softly. "Alright." He moved them over to the sofa, turning the TV on and flicking through the movie options. After a minute or so he pressed play and sat back, making sure to pull Ter into a cuddle as he got comfortable. When Mamma Mia started playing, Ter groaned.  
"I warned you," Nicaise said in a sing-song voice as the title song started.   
"Dickhead," Ter murmured but Nicaise could hear the slight smile in it.   
Half an hour later, Nicaise had catterwalled to enough ABBA songs to make Ter laugh until he snorted.  
Ter's phone started a low drumroll and Nicaise scooted out the way so he could answer it. They both knew whose ringtone it was.  
"He-" Ter got cut off almost immediately and Nicaise paused the movie. The room was silent until Ter swallowed. A few seconds later he hung up and started to move off the couch.  
"What is it?" Nicaise asked.  
"They're both pissed at me and I have no idea why but I'm better off getting home the now rather than later when they're even more miffed."  
Nicaise frowned, sitting up as Ter put his phone back in his pocket and headed for the door.  
"Text me?" To let me know you're safe?  
"Sure," Ter said right before the door slammed shut.  
Nicaise sighed, putting the movie back on but turning the volume down. He hated knowing Ter was going back to his parents but he could understand it at the same time.   
He hadn't realised he had fallen asleep until he woke up to the sound of Laurent's ringtone. Frowning, he fished around on the couch and then his jeans for his phone, swiping the screen and putting it on speaker.  
"Laurent?"  
" _Finally_ ," the man sighed and Nicaise closed his eyes again. _"I've been calling for ages."_  
"I was asleep. Blame Ter and Sky."  
There was a beat before Laurent answered. "Why?"  
"I'm done with Sky for good cause she went way too far, then Ter and me were watching a movie. His parents called so he left and then you called to wake me up." Nicaise yawned. "And what the fuck is all that noise in the background? Are you at some office party or something?"  
Laurent took a few seconds to answer and Nicaise yawned again, fighting to stay awake.  
 _"I'm at the hospital."_  
Nicaise sat up.  
"What happened? Are you alright? Where's Damen? Gus?"  
" _We're all ok, Nicaise. None of us got hurt."_  
Nicaise let out a breath. "Ok."  
 _"The hospital called to say Ter had gotten admitted_."  
Nicaise blinked. "What the fuck happened?"  
Laurent sighed. _"His parents got some... news." The way he almost ground the word out said what he thought about it. "That's when they called and told him to come home. When he got there they were in a worse state and... asked.. if the news was true. He reacted the wrong way - not that there was a right way - and they took it out on him_." Laurent sighed. " _He's in surgery the now."_  
Nicaise choked, springing up and tugging his shoes and jacket on. "Surgery?"  
 _"They broke his collarbone and some ribs. It was really close to being a lot worse. They're checking for internal bleeding too but they don't think anything got ruptured."_  
Nicaise checked his keys were still in his pocket as he went out the door.  
"How long ago did he go in?"  
 _"Just over an hour. They called me and I got here then called the others a_ nd kept calling you but you weren't picking up."  
Nicaise swore as he waited on the elevator, hitting the button over and over as if that'd make it come faster.  
"Same hospital as before?"  
" _Yeah_ ," Laurent said.   
"Call me if anything else happens," Nicaise said before hanging up and googling which train would get him to the hospital fastest.  
Half an hour later he hurried through the streets and up the hill to the hospital, barely dodging getting hit by cars in the lot. When he bolted through the doors at A&E there was a line at the front desk. Movement out of the corner of his eye made Nicaise pause and turn long enough to spot Auguste walking towards him.  
"Is he ok?" Nicaise asked as soon as his brother was within earshot. "What happened? Is he out of surgery yet?"  
Auguste tugged Nicaise into a hug, muffling his questions.  
"Is there any point in me telling you to calm down?"  
"No."  
"Alright," the man sighed. "He's still in surgery."  
Nicaise gulped. "What happened? What did his parents get told? Did they find out he's pan aro?"  
"Nuca," Auguste soothed, and Nicaise let him lead them through the room and down whitewashed halls which all stank of steriliser.  
"When yous left Sky's place, she was pissed. She wasn't thinking straight. At all, more like. She went over to Ter's place."  
Nicaise stopped walking and Auguste pulled him out of the way of doctors with an apologetic smile before forcefully walking him into an empty hallway which looked like a tunnel.  
"She wanted to get them pissed enough to beat him, but she didn't think it would be this serious." Auguste paused by a set of double doors. "She's in the waiting area with Laurent and Damen," he started and gripped Nicaise's shoulder when the boy went to shove through the doors. "Please don't kick up shit, Nuca. They'll throw you out and it'll be harder for Ter. Please keep your head on."  
Nicaise swallowed, taking a breath.  
"What did she tell them? Did she out him?"  
"Yes." Auguste held up his free hand. "But that's not all."  
Nicaise grit his teeth and waited for the man to continue and get to the fucking point.  
"She told them he knocked her up."  
Nicaise didn't even realise he had moved until he saw Sky's stricken face inches away from his right before a strong arm wrapped around him from behind and pulled him away while a darker body blocked his view.  
"Ok, we knew that was gonna happen," Laurent's voice said.  
"What happened to not kicking up shit?" Auguste complained at the same time.  
"Nicaise, take a breath," Damen said as Nicaise got lifted a few feet back by Auguste.  
"What the fuck were you thinking?"   
Sky's head appeared around the other side of Damen's body and Nicaise tried to lunge at her. Auguste kept hold of him, and Nicaise was suddenly aware of how tall he'd gotten since his feet were still on the floor. He knew Auguste normally lifted him clean off the floor when he held him like this.  
His attention caught on Sky again when she opened her mouth.  
"Nuca, I-"  
"Don't," Nicaise growled. "Don't fucking try and defend yourself. You got him beat up on fucking purpose. You knew how bad his parents beat him - you fucking knew! You knew and you still fucking outed him. You knew and you still fucking lied to get him beaten up. You knew and you still fucking -" Auguste covered his mouth and Nicaise squawked.  
"Volume," the man hissed in his ear and Nicaise glowered. He shoved Auguste off, stalking over to Sky and kneeling on the chair next to her.   
"You could've fucking killed him," he hissed. Sky's lower lip was quivering and she actually looked like she was going to cry. Fucking finally. "But you didn't think bout that, did you? You just thought bout how jealous you are and how no one pays any attention to you. Well guess what? You don't deserve attention. You don't deserve respect. You don't deserve any of it. You know why? Cause you're a strung-out good for nothing skank who's never gonna get further than the brothel down the street."  
Mascara and eyeshadow were running down her cheeks and her foundation was streaky.   
"I-"  
"Now get the fuck out of here before I scream."  
Sky ducked her head and stood up. Nicaise watched as she skulked down the corridor and pushed through the doors he had ran through minutes before.  
The hall was silent until Laurent sighed and sat down next to Nicaise.  
"All things considered," he drawled, "that could've gone worse."   
Nicaise groaned, burying his face in his arms.   
"Bathroom's on the right down the hall," Auguste said quietly and Nicaise shook his head. He knew he was hard - it was automatic as soon as he was stressed, after his training from Richard and then his reliance on sex as a coping mechanism.   
"Since when do you not prioritise getting off?" Laurent was right. Any other time, Nicaise would've already gone.  
He lifted his head slightly so his mouth wasn't half-covered when he spoke.  
"It feels wrong when I don't even know how Ter's doing or what bloody happened to him."  
Laurent sighed, and Nicaise knew the three adults were having a silent conversation behind his back. He didn't care.  
"And the rest of it?" Laurent prodded gently and Nicaise breathed a laugh.   
"I just- I don't want that asshat to win," he whispered. "Being that guy who gets off or goes and fucks around when he's stressed or pissed off is one thing but being that guy who jacks it when his best friend is in surgery after his bastard parents beat him? I don't wanna be that guy." Nicaise swallowed. "And assface said I'd always give in - I'd always go back to my training, I'd always be his. If I give in now then he was right."  
There were three sighs in a row before Damen spoke. "Where's the drinks machine?"   
"Second left in a row," Laurent murmured and Damen left. Nicaise kept his head down, not bothering to glance up when he heard Damen's returning footsteps. He hissed when something cold got pressed against his neck.  
"What the fuck?" he snapped, automatically recoiling from it and rubbing his neck as he looked up. Damen was holding out an ice-cold can of juice to him.  
"You know fine well you'll calm down sooner this way," was all he said and Nicaise groaned. After a second he took the can and pressed it against the back of his neck, huffing at the cold.  
"You know how much I hate cold showers, right?"  
"Figured your shower didn't even have a cold setting," Damen retorted as he leant against the wall and Nicaise rolled his eyes.  
By the time the doors up the hall opened and a doctor walked through, Nicaise had moved the can down to his lower thigh to fidget with. Laurent stood up and walked to meet the white coat halfway up the hall. Nicaise went to stand up but Auguste put his hand on his shoulder to keep him sitting.  
"You'll flip if it's bad and you know it," he muttered. Nicaise looked to Damen to see who he was likely to side with and flopped back in his seat when he saw Damen was watching Laurent's profile carefully, looking for any telltale signs of what the doctor was saying.   
A few minutes later, the doctor walked away and Laurent came back over to them. Nicaise tried to read his face but his expression didn't give anything away. His eyes were calculating and Nicaise gulped.   
"Is he ok?" he asked, trying to keep his voice timid.  
Laurent flicked a look at Auguste and Damen before looking back to Nicaise.   
"Go get another can or a bottle," he said. Nicaise blinked up at him before slowly putting the Irn Bru can on the floor and walking up the hall. After two lefts he saw the vending machine halfway up the hall. He knew he'd only gotten sent away because Laurent wanted to tell the men first. Either to rant and swear about it before telling Nicaise calmly or to -   
Nicaise froze. Why else would Laurent not want to tell him at the same time? He got a small bottle of coke and headed back down the corridors, trying to casually hold it against his lower stomach. When he rounded the corner, Laurent was standing across from Damen and Auguste was sitting drinking the Irn Bru Nicaise had put on the floor. He stopped in front of the three men, pretending he didn't notice they were positioned like a fence around him. Ready to grab him if he flipped.  
"How bad is it?" His tone was flat, and he didn't try to put it back up.  
Laurent sighed and Nicaise felt his stomach drop.   
"There's good and bad," the man said. Damen and Auguste didn't even look up, which was as loud as them shouting they already knew what Laurent was going to say.  
"What's the bad?"   
"Three broken ribs, two fractured. Four breaks in one arm, a fracture in that wrist, and two in the other. Two breaks and a fracture in his collarbone. If it had gone slightly differently he could have snapped his neck. And a fuck load of bruising."  
Nicaise grit his teeth. Fuck.  
"And the good?"  
"There's no internal bleeding. He barely avoided a punctured lung - one more broken rib and it could've been a different story. He managed to curl himself up enough to protect his organs."  
Nicaise gulped. He felt sick.  
"Are they done?"  
"He's out of recovery and is in his room, but he's groggy. He'll probably be asleep again soon."  
"I want to see him."  
The three men looked at each other. Nicaise expected them to ask if he was sure he wanted to see Ter bruised and broken in a hospital bed.  
"There's something else," Laurent said instead. "The doctors aren't idiots and know this is obviously domestic abuse. They called the police and two officers are coming over in an hour or so when he's expected to be more coherent."  
"So they'll know shit happened and stop his bastard parents taking him home or visiting, right?"  
Nicaise felt the words dying in his mouth as he spoke them and saw Laurent's eyes sharpen.   
"You remember the second time we met?" he asked and Nicaise frowned.   
"Yeah," he said slowly.   
"Do you remember what you told me when I asked why you were limping?"  
"That I fell down the stairs."  
"Why there were bruises on your knees?"  
"I walked into stuff a lot."  
Laurent nodded slowly. Adultly. "I knew exactly what they were all from. But do you know why I didn't say anything?"  
"Because you knew I'd lie," Nicaise murmured. "You knew I'd lie to anyone you told. That's why you didn't say anything until I told you."  
"Exactly," Laurent said. "I didn't say anything and I didn't do anything - I didn't call the police or child services, I didn't try to get proof, I didn't try to tell anyone else about any of it until you had told me. Do you know why?"  
"Because if people started sniffing around it would make - him - go on high alert and he would hurt me more because he'd think I'd said something to someone."  
Laurent nodded again. "He was rich enough to move you to another country overnight if he thought authorities were getting suspicious. But he could have treated you worse and God knows what else." The man looked hard at Nicaise, blue eyes cold and calculating. "Do you see where I'm going with this?"  
Nicaise clenched his jaw.   
"You want me to keep my mouth shut and not tell the police the truth because Ter's gonna lie to them. You're all going to keep your mouths shut unless he says something. But you don't think he will."  
Laurent nodded again and Nicaise focused on the cold bottle against his stomach. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.  
"You can go in and see him. But when the police get here you can only stay in that room if you can keep your mouth shut. Ter knows his parents better than we do - he knows if he says anything they'll be pissed. But if he doesn't then no one else can; if they start sniffing around then he could be in a lot more danger."   
Nicaise looked away, hating that his eyes were stinging. He knew Laurent was right.   
"Fine," he heard himself say. "I won't say anything."  
Auguste and Damen looked at each other and Laurent sighed.  
"Alright," he said and put a hand on Nicaise's shoulder. "His room's up the hall a bit - but you're not allowed any food or drink in there."   
Nicaise hesitantly put the bottle on the chair next to Auguste before walking up the hallway and through the double doors with Laurent. They went around a few corners to another hallway full of doors before they stopped in front of one halfway up. 113. How fitting, Nicaise thought.  
"I'll be back up when the officers get here," Laurent said and Nicaise nodded. He watched Laurent walk back down the hall before he took a breath and pushed the door in front of himself, walking into Ter's room. The walls were bare green and the floor was the same speckled linoleum as the hallway. Ter's bed was in the middle of the room with a lot of wires and tubes hooked up to different machines around him.   
"You look like shit," Nicaise said as he took in the slings and pins and casts and bandages.  
Ter laughed weakly and Nicaise walked closer, sitting on the edge of the bed.  
"You've looked better yourself," he remarked and Nicaise smiled slightly.   
"Pretty sure I'm still winning the beauty pageant out of us."  
Ter smiled slightly and Nicaise's heart clenched at how innocent it looked. His eyes were black from a broken nose and he had stitches in his brow and lip.   
"I'd win the personality prize though."  
"They don't have a personality rank in a pageant," Nicaise scoffed and Ter cracked a grin before wincing. "Thanks for coming, Nico."  
"Did you really think I wouldn't?"   
"You hate hospitals," Ter murmured. "I wouldn't blame you if you didn't."  
Nicaise ducked his head, fishing around in the papery blankets for Ter's hand, linking their fingers together when he found it.   
"I hate waiting around at home wondering what happened more," he said to the blankets.  
They stayed like that for half an hour before there was a knock at the door. Nicaise turned around to see Laurent opening the door and two uniformed officers walking in in front of him.  
"Terence Whitkher?" one of them asked. Nicaise nodded while Ter answered and the two men stopped halfway to the bed.  
"Thank you," the other one said to Laurent. Laurent nodded and glanced at Nicaise as he started to shut the door again.  
"Want me to stay or go?" Nicaise asked Ter who smiled faintly before turning his head to look in the officers direction.  
"It's cool if Nico stays, right?"  
"Of course," the first one said and Laurent shut the door.  
The two men stopped beside the bed and the first sat down while the other stood behind the remaining chair. Nicaise tried not to roll his eyes. He knew that stance arrangement by heart.  
"I'm Jake and this is Kevin," the first said with a gesture to the standing one. "We just want to ask you a few questions about what happened. Is that alright?"  
No, Nicaise thought.  
"Yeah," Ter said.   
"Is Nico short for Nicholas?" Kevin asked and Nicaise looked to him.  
"Nicaise."  
"DeVere?" the man asked and Nicaise nodded.   
Jake looked between them both before focusing on Ter.   
"The doctors got pretty worried when they saw all the broken bones," he started, "and they asked us to find out how that happened. Do you mind telling us?"  
Nicaise made sure to keep his expression blank and his face relaxed.   
"I fell out a tree," Ter said. "And hit a couple branches on the way down."  
The officers looked at each other quickly and Nicaise kept his face blank.   
"That's a lot of breaks for one fall," Kevin said. "Are you sure that's what happened?"  
"It was a tall tree and I was pretty high up," Ter said. "I should've been more careful."  
"How did you fall?"  
"One of the branches snapped and I wasnt quick enough to grab the next one."  
Another look at each other. "What happened next? Was someone with you to call an ambulance?"  
"Sky called," Ter said and Nicaise bit his cheek. "She's my friend from college. She called and waited with me."  
"What about your parents?" Jake asked. "Where were they?"  
"At work," Ter said. "Their hours are always weird."  
"Are they still at work?"  
"Probably."  
"So you were climbing a really tree at night and fell, your college friend called an ambulance and waited with you, then had somehow moved you to the driveway out of the way of any and all tall trees by the time the crew got there, and your parents have been so busy at work this whole time they couldn't come see their son after you got rushed into emergency surgery?"  
Nicaise ducked his head. These guys were good. They could smell bullshit and knew it.   
Ter was silent and Kevin looked between the boys on the bed. "Are you honestly saying that's what happened?"  
"Yes," Ter said.   
The officers looked at each other, having some sort of silent debate. Jake apparently won since he stood up and Kevin headed for the door.  
"Alright," Jake said. "Thank you for your time and sorry for disturbing you. If you think of anything else about this tree you want us to know, call us. Alright?" As he spoke he handed Nicaise two business cards with identical numbers on them.  
"Thank you," Nicaise said quietly. The men left and Nicaise put the cards on the chair Jake had been sitting on. They were both silent and Nicaise watched Ter watch the ceiling.  
"Don't give me that face, Nico," Ter breathed. "Please."  
Nicaise sighed, leaning down to kiss Ter's forehead. "I get why you didn't tell them," he murmured. "I get it."  
Ter tugged lightly at his fingers and Nicaise ducked his head against the guy's shoulder gently.  
"Thank you," he whispered and Nicaise gulped. He went to stand up but stopped when Ter's fingers tightened again. "You can't go back to Laurent like that," he murmured with a glance down and Nicaise realised how hard he'd gotten. And how close he was.  
"Was I like this when he came in earlier?"   
"Only in the last minute or so when the guys left," Ter murmured. "You really have a uniform kink don't you?"  
Nicaise snorted and Ter tugged at his fingers slightly. "Come on," he murmured. "If you're waiting for permission then you've got it, Nico."  
Nicaise gulped and kissed Ter, surprised by how quickly his abdomen was tightening. How the fuck was he this close already? Ter sucked his tongue slightly and Nicaise barely held back a whine, rocking himself against the mattress. He bit Ter's lip when he came, sooner than he'd expected.  
"Breathe, Nico," Ter murmured against him. Nicaise took a breath and got another kiss in reward. "You're so good," he said and Nicaise pulled away slightly, his hand already snaking under the blankets but Ter shook his head slightly. "I can never get hard on these painkillers," he said quietly. "But looks like you came enough for us both."  
Nicaise glanced down at himself, groaning when he saw the wet patch on his jeans. "Fuck."  
"Maybe another time," Ter copped and Nicaise looked back up at him. "You coming back?"  
"They'll have to kick me out," Nicaise murmured and kissed Ter again when he grinned slightly. He left the room, tugging his tshirt down to try and cover his crotch then tying his jacket round his waist as he walked through the corridors. Laurent and Auguste raised an eyebrow at him when he stopped in front of the chairs.   
"Ready to go?" Damen asked and Nicaise nodded. The four of them left, August getting in his car while Nicaise followed Damen and Laurent to theirs.  
The ride back to the penthouse was silent except for the radio and the sounds outside the car. Laurent declined three calls, but presumably answered texts. Damen parked in the underground car park and the three of them got out, taking the stairs to the ground floor and greeting Jord at the reception desk.  
"Can I get the pool key?"  
Nicaise didn't have the energy to make his voice sounded stronger. Laurent and Damen paused on their way to the elevator, looking back to where Nicaise was standing in the foyer.  
"It's after midnight, Nuca," Laurent said.  
"It's either let me in the pool or I'm putting my music up full," Nicaise replied.  
Laurent sighed, looking over at Jord. "What time does your shift finish?"  
"Half two," the man said with a frown.  
Laurent looked back at Nicaise before nodding. "If he's not out by then, chase him."  
Jord nodded as he reached under the desk and took out the keyring for the pool, handing it over to Nicaise. Nicaise ducked his head and made his way across the foyer to the door opposite the one leading down to the car park, unlocking it with the first key. Down the hall was a set of double doors which he unlocked and hauled open, before padding across the walkway to the changing area. He hadn't thought of bringing his swimming stuff with him and never left anything behind in a locker. After pausing for a second to make sure there were no footsteps, he stripped and left his clothes in a pile on one of the benches. The stone tiles were cold against his feet as he quickly padded over to the deep end and jumped in. He always misjudged the temperature of the water - sometimes it was warmer than he expected and others it was colder. Maybe they heated it in winter somehow and cooled it in summer.   
Nicaise took his time doing a few laps up and down the pool's length before stopping at one end. Laurent had caught him doing this before and told him not to do it again. Nicaise knew why Laurent had been upset with him for it - if he got his timing slightly wrong he could drown far too easily or have a panic attack and probably still drown. But part of him didn't care about that anymore.   
Nicaise took a breath and ducked underwater, letting his body relax and sink to the bottom of the pool which was almost seven feet. He squatted at the bottom, making sure his feet were in a good position to push him back up quickly. After holding his breath for a few more seconds Nicaise screamed. Screaming underwater always terrified and soothed him. Terrified him because he knew no one could hear him to come help and most of the time he used up every last drop of air he had. Soothed him because it was the only place he could scream and scream and scream over and over again without anyone coming to disturb him and ask what was wrong. And there was something oddly serene about it. After almost ten seconds of screaming, he clamped his mouth shut and pushed back up to the surface as fast as he could, coughing and spluttering as soon as his head broke the water. He hated not being able to breathe, hated the suffocating weight in his chest. But as soon as he calmed his breathing, he took another breath and let himself sink, screaming when he reached the bottom of the pool again before scrambling for the surface.  
Time faded as Nicaise alternated between sinking to scream, laps up and down the pool, hitting the water around and just floating.  
He started when there was a loud knock on the door and Jord shouted. "Nicaise I'm coming in but I can't shut my eyes so if you're changing or anything, cover up." Nicaise swam over to the edge of the pool and pressed himself against the stone, propping his arms up on the corner and resting his chin on them. Jord opened the door cautiously, sighing when he saw Nicaise still in the water. "That's my shift over so get a move on," he said. Nicaise nodded, freezing slightly when Jord walked closer to the pool. Jord seemed to realise his mistake and paused, holding up a blue towel which had been hidden behind his body.   
"Laurent gave me this down since he figured you didn't have a spare in the lockers. And he said to tell you he put one of your onesies through the dryer so it's warm for you."  
Nicaise smiled weakly. "Thanks, Jord. Can you put it on the bench with my stuff?" He watched as the man walked across the stone tiles and over to the changing area, where he disappeared from sight for ten seconds before coming back out.   
"I'll be waiting in the hallway for you, alright?"   
Nicaise nodded and the man left, closing the door gently behind himself. Sighing, Nicaise climbed out of the pool, hurrying over to the changing area and grabbing the towel. It wasn't warm but it wasn't cold either. He dried off, pulling his clothes on and draping the towel across his shoulders before heading out. Jord was waiting for him further up the hallway, as he'd said. Nicaise handed him the keys on his way past, knowing Jord had to go back to check whether anything had been left behind so there was no point locking the doors yet.  
Jord waited with Nicaise for the elevator, either to be polite or because he didn't trust Nicaise not to bolt somewhere. Honestly, Nicaise didn't either. He walked in when the doors opened and punched the button for the top floor.   
When he went down the waxed corridor and pushed the penthouse door open, he tried to be quiet. The place was silent so he assumed Laurent and Damen had gone to bed already. He toed out of his shoes and tiptoed over to the dryer, taking his fluffy blue onesie out. It was still warm.   
Nicaise quickly stripped and pulled the fluffy material on, zipping it up the front as he went over to the cupboards and fished around til he found the half-eaten party cake Damen had brought home the other day. He took the mixing bowl off the top of it and grabbed a spoon, putting them both on the counter before crouching in front of the freezer and getting out the open tub of Ben & Jerry's. If he was going to be pathetic and cry on the kitchen floor, he may as well do it right.   
He sank down onto the floor with the cake and ice cream, his back against the counter.   
By the time Laurent looked over the second-floor balcony at him, Nicaise had ate a quarter of the cake and half the ice cream while crying enough to hiccup and almost bring it all back up twice.   
"You should've said you were having a pity party," Laurent remarked coolly as he slowly made his way down the stairs.  
Nicaise gulped. "It was implied."   
Laurent stopped by the kitchen island and watched him for a few seconds.  
"No vodka?"  
"Didn't feel like picking the lock or breaking the glass."  
Laurent tipped his head and Nicaise took another mouthful. After a minute or so he sat down beside Nicaise, tilting his head back against the counter. He didn't say anything as Nicaise continued to eat the cake and ice cream, only helped him up and over to the sink when he started retching. After he had caught his breath again and rinsed his mouth, Nicaise sank back down and took another mouthful. Laurent gently brushed stray curls off his face and Nicaise sniffed. He knew he was in a panic attack, logically. But he was so far in it he wasn't worried about it. He knew it was happening though but he couldn't feel it or fight it. All he could do was take another mouthful and gulp it down with air and the faint saltiness he was starting to realise was tears. Fucking hell.  
"Is this what it felt like?"   
Laurent tilted his head slightly. "Is this what what felt like?"  
Nicaise hiccuped. "When we first met. When you knew exactly what was happening and what would happen but you knew there was bugger all you could do about it?"   
He hiccuped again, fighting his gag with another mouthful. In all fucking fairness he didn't know if he was speaking out loud anymore or not. And if he was he doubted he was coherent.  
"Like no matter what you do or say it won't be fucking good enough. And everything's too much and too hard and you're nothing, nothing at all. Nothing you do could make a difference but nothing that happened or that you got through meant anything. And you're just so powerless but you want to help but you just - there's nothing to fucking do cause everything you want to do will just make everything worse."  
By the time he finished he'd gave up on the remnants of the cake and ice cream. Instead of binging he was a shaky, crying mess of a ball on the floor. He knew there was food and puke on his face but he couldn't care.  
Laurent put his arm around Nicaise's shoulders, pulling him close and kissing his head.  
"Yeah," he whispered, voice raw and Nicaise realised the man was crying silently. "Yeah, this is what it felt like."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs -   
> Better than revenge - Taylor Swift   
> Done - The Band Perry  
> Just a dream - Carrie Underwood   
> Everybody dies in their nightmares -xxxtentacion)  
> Toy Guns - Carrie Underwood


	9. November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Bonfire night, Nic gets drunk, Ter heals a little and they both take a small step forwards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for:  
> Underage drinking   
> Mentions of hospitals   
> Blood I guess   
> Fireworks/ explosions   
> Past trauma   
> Horny Underage Nic 
> 
> (Sorry this is short and sorry for any mistakes it's been driving me mad for a month and yeah I'm just uploading it to get it away and move onto the next part tbh)

Nicaise pushed open the door to the biology lab, rolling his eyes when he saw Ter perched on one of the bar stools, leaning over a microscope with notes strewn around him on the table. He shut the door behind himself, walking up behind the other guy, resting his chin on his shoulder and laughing when Ter jumped.   
"Bloody hell," he breathed a second later, elbowing Nicaise back a step. "Don't fucking do that."  
"But you've gotta know how to bring yourself back from a heart attack," Nicaise pouted and Ter groaned.  
"I've not got time for a heart attack," he muttered and turned back to the microscope. Nicaise hovered a few steps behind him before hopping up on the table. Ter ignored him for almost a minute before swatting when Nicaise leant over the scope to try and see what was on the other side.  
"In my light, Nico."  
Nicaise huffed but went back to sitting still, save for swinging his legs. Ter had gotten his casts off the week before so had been spending every minute he could in the labs, getting used to using the equipment again. Nicaise had had to be his arms and hands for the last two and a half months. Some of it had been fun, since Ter couldn't slap him away but they'd spent most of their time with Nicaise chasing Ter and giving him in trouble for poking things down the casts to try and scratch his arms. There had been dozens of screaming matches through the bathroom door in which Ter threatened to cut the casts off himself before realising there was nothing sharp enough in the bathroom. Laurent and Damen had gotten used to it within the first month.  
Ter had been staying with them in the penthouse since getting released from hospital, and Laurent hadn't given any hints he had to leave now that his casts were off. Nicaise didn't want to admit how much he enjoyed being able to sleep in the same bed as him, even if they rarely did anything. It was comforting.  
They stayed in silence for almost five minutes while Nicaise watched Ter put different slides under the scope, look at them, write stuff down, adjust the lense and repeating the process.  
"Bored yet?" Ter glanced up at Nicaise as he switched slides again.  
Nicaise shrugged and Ter laughed.  "Why come if you're just gonna be bored?"  
"It's Bonfire night."  
When Nicaise didn't elaborate, Ter raised an eyebrow. "I'm aware of that fact, Nico."   
Nicaise hummed quietly and Ter looked up at him properly. He started saying something before his eyes caught on the glass bottle at Nicaise's side.  
"What the fuck is that."   
Nicaise looked at the bottle then back to Ter, feigning innocence.  
"What?"  
Ter groaned. "Nico you know you're not allowed food and drink in labs. It contaminates stuff."  
Nicaise rolled his eyes. "I've not touched anything, but. And it's not even open. See?" He held the bottle up so Ter could see the lid on top. "It's not contaminating anything if it's not open."  
Ter sighed and looked at him. "It stays shut if you're staying here."  
Nicaise held his hands up in mock surrender and Ter rolled his eyes but went back to looking through the microscope.  
"What are you even doing anyway?" Nicaise asked after another few minutes of silence.  
Ter scribbled something else down in his notebook. "Looking at blood cells in different states."  
"What sorta states?"  
"Cancerous, terberculous-y, different drugs and medications, healthy, crenated..." Ter switched slides. "Some are human some aren't."  
"Pigs?"  
"Dogs, mostly," Ter murmured as he went back to looking through the lense. "A couple were frog and horse."  
They went back to silence until Nicaise started whistling lowly and Ter looked up at him again.  
"I thought you'd be down at one of the displays tonight."  
Nicaise shrugged. "Laurent, Damen and Gus are - I think Jo's with them too."  
Ter frowned. "Then how come you're not?"  
Nicaise shrugged again and Ter tilted his head. "Come on, Nico. What are you not saying?"  
Nicaise ducked his head. "It's nothing."  
"Doesn't sound like it," Ter said, moving away from the scope and standing in front of Nicaise.  "Nico."  
Nicaise opened his legs more and Ter stepped closer, pulling him forward slightly so they were against each other.  
"Do I have to tickle it out if you?" Ter murmured and Nicaise smirked slightly. "Cause you know I will now that I can."  
Nicaise wrapped his legs behind Ter's and rested his chin on his shoulder.  
"It's nothing," he murmured again and slid his hands down the back of Ter's jeans. "Really. You should go back to your blood slides."   
Ter breathed a laugh, sliding his hands up Nicaise's back under his top.  
"You and your fucking reverse psychology."  
Nicaise smirked. "And you shouldn't let me drink this bottle while you finish the lab."  
Ter scoffed. "Smart ass."  
Nicaise wriggled slightly and nipped at Ter's ear, smirking when Ter sighed. "Nico I've got to finish this lab tonight -  the test is - is on Mond- fucking hell." Nicaise grinned, still nipping and sucking at Ter's neck and collarbone. Since it had started healing in the hospital, they'd found out the skin was even more sensitive and Nicaise had taken full advantage of it. Ter hadn't complained. Though he'd probably been too busy complaining about the sling he usually refused to wear to be able to complain about anything else.  
"I'm not stopping you," Nicaise said lowly and Ter groaned.  
"Fuck not letting food and drink in," he muttered. "It should be your horny ass that's considered contamination."  
Nicaise squawked, pulling away and looking at Ter in mock offense.   
"My heart, it bleeds."  
Ter kissed him and Nicaise happily shut up. He pouted when Ter pulled away too early.  
"Half an hour, Nico," he murmured. "Just give me half an hour to finish this lab then we can get out of here. A'right?"   
Nicaise whined, ducking his head and kissing along Ter's jaw. Whenever Ter got properly horny his accent got thicker, regardless of how well he was keeping himself in check otherwise.  
"Twenty nine minutes," he whispered and Ter lightly swatted at him. "And counting."  
Nicaise hopped off the table, grabbing the bottle of vodka and moving to sit on the table behind the guy.  
"You better not be drinking that."  
"Wouldn't dream of it," Nicaise said as he opened the bottle and took a swig.  Ter sighed loudly, turning to look at Nicaise.   
"Twenty eight," the shorter boy said and Ter laughed.  
"Jackass."  
"You're just saying that cause you're jealous," Nicaise sing-songed. Ter flipped him off and went back to the blood slides.   
Nicaise slowly sipped the vodka while Ter went through the rest of the lab. Within fifteen minutes Nicaise was restless. The fireworks displays had started five minutes ago, and Ter still had stuff to fill out and then he'd probably insist on tidying up after that.  
"You should have some of this," he said and Ter glanced over his shoulder.   
"I'm not gonna get drunk, Nico. We'll never get out of here then."  
"You don't have to get drunk," Nicaise whined. "I'm not drunk."  
"You're not sober either," Ter muttered and Nicaise pouted.  
"Just have some."  
"Not happening."  
"Just a mouthful."  
"Nope."  
"Just a taste," Nicaise said.   
Ter sighed loudly as he turned around. "If I have some will you be quiet and let me finish this so we can get out of here sooner?"  
"Yup," Nicaise said, smacking out the 'P'. "Cross my heart," he added when Ter raised an eyebrow. The guy shook his head but gestured for Nicaise to give him some. Nicaise grinned, holding the bottle up to Ter's lips and tilting it, grinning when he grunted and stepped back, wiping his mouth on his shoulder.   
"So much for just a fucking taste," he coughed and Nicaise shrugged innocently. Ter flipped him off but went back to the scope and his notes.   
Nicaise got a few more mouthfuls of his vodka in the amount of time it took Ter to finish the lab.  
"Are you done yet?" Nicaise sang for the ninth time.  
"Yes," Ter replied with a laugh. "I'm do-" He didn't get to finish his sentence before Nicaise was off the table and kissing him, tugging his hair and rutting against him. "Fuck."  
"Happily," Nicaise replied and laughed when Ter rolled his eyes. "Come on," he whined, fingers tracing around the other guy's waistband. "Please?"  
"Are you serious?"  
"Are you kidding?" Nicaise countered, pulling Ter back to the desk he had been sitting on and hopping up on it. "I've been here this whole time and you're just clicking on that I need you to fuck me? For shame," he laughed and yelped when Ter hauled him forwards to kiss him some more.  
"You need me to, huh?"   
"Yup," Nicaise sing-songed. "I need you to."  
Ter hummed and Nicaise shuddered when the guy ran his hands down his back at the same time as a bunch of fireworks went off outside. He whined when Ter pulled away, wrapping his arms round the taller guy's neck.  
"Come on," he pouted. The vodka bottle was still on the table beside him and Ter picked it up, screwing the lid back on while Nicaise tried to wrap around him like a koala.  
"Nico I thought you said you wanted out of here."  
"But I need fucked more than I wanna leave." Was he tripping over his words? It didn't really matter.    
Ter tilted his head at him before pulling him off the table. Nicaise whined, rutting against Ter's leg.  
"I'd rather fuck you in a hot shower and then your be-"  
Ter hadn't finished his sentence by the time Nicaise had practically hauled him out the lab door, stumbling into the corridor. "Fuck, Ni-" Nicaise cut him off with a harsh kiss, whining slightly and pulling him back so they were against one of the walls.  
"I don't think I can wait that long, Ter," Nicaise pouted. He tugged Ter's hips closer to grind against again, loving how it made the other guy groan.  "Please... fuck me in the bathroom, please."  
Nicaise wasn't exaggerating- he could feel himself getting close, and he'd already been edging himself earlier before going down to the college to look for Terry in the first place. Waiting on the table for Ter to finish his lab had been torture.  
Terry swore and Nicaise smirked at how hard he could feel him getting. "Terry, come on." He knew he sounded whiney and needy but he didn't care. Couldn't care. He took Terry's hand and slid it down the front of his jeans, letting Terry feel how hard he was, how much pre-cum was already seeping into his jeans since he hadn't bothered with boxers. Terry swore, pressing Nicaise harder against the wall with his other hand on his neck.   
Nicaise whined, eyes snapping open. He was way too close-  
"Nico-" Terry caught his hands as Nicaise desperately undid his fly. "Nico, slow do-"  
"Terry, please, I can't- I'm gonna-" Fuck he couldn't even get a coherent sentence out. He was gonna finish in his pants without getting Ter off first. Fuck fuck fu-  
"Nico, go on." Ter's voice pulled him out of his mind but Nicaise shook his head. He was too close - even if they moved away from the wall and went down the stairs, he was still gonna lose it. He was gonna be in so much trou-  
"Nico." Nicaise looked up at Ter. "Nico I want you to cum first. You're not gonna get in trouble for it." Terry kissed along his jaw. "It's really hot when you do."  
Nicaise ducked his head against Terry's shoulder, trying to hold on but he could feel himself giving in. He bit his lip hard enough he tasted blood, trying to stay quiet as he came almost untouched, Ter only started to move his hand and milk him as he finished.  
"Fuck. Ter-"  
Terry cut him off with a kiss before Nicaise could form a sentence. "You done so good, Nico," he murmured and Nicaise pulled away enough to look up at him. "Now we're gonna go back to the penthouse and see how long the hot water in your shower lasts."

  
...

  
Nicaise stumbled out of the wet room and onto his bed, tugging Terry down with him. They had stayed in the shower for over three hours, some of it under the water and some just in the hot steam that had built up inside the sealed room. Laurent and Damen had gotten back an hour or so ago and headed straight up to their room.   
Terry wrapped them both up in Nicaise's blankets before pulling Nicaise close against him, kissing and nuzzling at his neck.   
"Get some sleep, Nico."

  
...

  
When Nicaise woke up in the morning, Terry was still asleep next to him and there was a jackhammer in his skull. He barely had time to scramble out of bed and stumble into the en-suite before he was gagging and doubling over to puke. Ter's hand was on his back in seconds, his voice echoing in Nicaise's ears when he shouted. Nicaise couldn't make out the word or sound or whatever had came out of his mouth. He was too busy focusing on what was coming out of his own.    
Laurent's voice materialised, and another set of hands were on him, replacing Ter's and hauling him to the toilet to keep puking. He hadn't even realised he'd not made it more than a few steps into the room. Fuck.  
A few minutes later, Nicaise managed to sit back up straight, grimacing as he wiped his mouth. "Nico, what's wrong?" He frowned over at Ter, who was looking at him with wide eyes. "Was it a nightmare?" Nicaise shook his head, confused. "What set you - fuck, was I doing anything in my sleep?"  
Nicaise blinked. "How should I know?"   
Ter frowned. "I thought you usually knew what set you off? I just don't wanna accidently-"  
"Set me off?" Nicaise asked slowly before he realised what Ter meant. "It wasn't a panic attack," he said, shaking his head before groaning and leaning back over the toilet to retch.   
"Wait, it's not a panic attack? What's wrong then?"  
"Vodka," Nicaise choked out between breaths once he was done. "Hangover."  
Ter groaned.   
Laurent sighed. "I was wondering why you smell like a bar."   
Nicaise smiled weakly, wiping his mouth and sitting back against the wall. "It was only two bottles this time."  
"This time?" Ter asked while Laurent hummed in acknowledgment. "What am I missing?"  
Nicaise chewed his lip, glancing up at Ter who was standing in the doorway on the other side of the puke puddle. "I'm scared of fireworks," he heard himself mutter. "And when I get that scared I get horny. He... Richard always made a big deal of Bonfire night, always took me out to a show and made me watch the whole thing, then took me back to his and had a mini one in the field behind the mansion - he figured out which ones scared me the most and used more of them. I wasn't allowed to go back inside til all of them had gone off." He felt himself smiling dryly. "You can guess what happened next. He always said it was to comfort me, to make me feel better, to apologise for scaring me, to take my mind off of the fireworks... it was another reason every year. Then my first Bonfire night here was the worst one, ironically - Laurent had never been scared of fireworks so didn't think anything of it, and I didn't say anything. We went down to a display, I think I lasted ten minutes before I went into a full panic attack. They brought me back here but I kept trying to get them off, I couldn't understand why they wouldn't let me and why they weren't fucking me. Laurent figured it out eventually and practically dragged me under a cold shower. After that they just put music on really loud on every device, and kept me up in the walk-in wardrobe upstairs since there were blackout curtains in it. Every year since I've just gotten completely trashed with Sky."  
Ter nodded slowly. "Is that why you kept saying I had to fuck you because it was Bonfire night?" Nicaise nodded and the other guy sighed. "Ok. Is New Years the same?" Another nod and another sigh.   
Laurent looked between them. "Nico, get dressed - Ter, go with him and make sure he doesn't burn the place down making breakfast while I clean up in here."  
Nicaise thanked Laurent quietly before getting up, stiffly making his way back to his room, pulling on sweats and a hoody before he and Ter went through to the kitchen.   
By the time Laurent came through half an hour later, they were curled up on the sofa watching Spongebob while eating almost three plates worth of breakfast. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> Bonfire night - unknown   
> Colours - Halsey   
> Castle - Halsey  
> Broken Arrow - Pixie Lott  
> Explosions - ellie goulding


	10. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise and Ter go through Nicaise's old clothes, and they both heal a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for  
> Abusive parents  
> Unhealthy coping habits  
> Dangerous situations  
> Underage horny Nicaise  
> Mentions of past abuse/ child rape 
> 
> If you need anything else tagged let me know

Nicaise couldn't breathe he was laughing so hard. Ter looked at him, feigning a confused look. "What's so funny Nico?"  
When Nicaise just kept laughing Ter huffed and put his hands on his hips. He was dressed in one of Nicaise's old crop tops and a pair of jeans that were more ripped than they were intact, and a pair of high heels Jokaste had left behind for reasons Nicaise didn't want to know. To top it off, Ter had put on some of Nicaise's makeup and tied a handful of ribbon strands in his hair.  
"What?" he demanded in an over theatrical voice. "Do I not look pretty Nico?"  
Nicaise wailed, rolling over on the bed so his head was lolling off the side. Ter did look pretty - totally fuckable - but he couldn't walk in the  heels to save his life. A penguin could probably do a better job. And the makeup was all in the wrong places -lipstick on his cheeks, eyeshadow on his lips, mascara between his brows and over his chin. He looked ridiculous. Undeniably hot and fit in that top and those jeans, but ridiculous.  
Ter scoffed and tried to waddle around the bed when the door opened. "Who the fuck is killing who this time?" Auguste asked before he raised an eyebrow at the scene in front of him. Ter, in his get up, and Nicaise half naked on the bed crying silently with laughter, his clothes and makeup splayed across the bed and floor.  
"You know what," Auguste said slowly, "I don't wanna know this time. Kinky gay shit is your area of expertise so I'll tell Laurent that's all yous are up to."  
Ter was laughing by the time the man had closed the French doors behind himself. Originally, the plan had been to go through his clothes and put the ones he didn't want or wouldn't wear anymore in a bag for charity, same with his products, but it had quickly derailed into them both trying on his old clothes and messing around with the makeup.  
Nicaise took a breath, grinning as he wiped his face and tried to look up at Ter without howling again.  
"Get over here," he said, and Ter stepped out of the heels onto the bed, sitting down on top of Nicaise's stomach. Nicaise ran his hands up Ter's thighs, smirking when the rips moved and he could see the guy's underwear.  
"How long ago did you wear these?" he asked and Nicaise shrugged.  
"Maybe last summer?"  
Ter raised an eyebrow at him before undoing the fly. "They're way too tight but somehow my dick still feels like it'd fall out one of the rips."  
Nicaise laughed, pulling the jeans while Ter stood up and shimmied out of them, before kicking them into the charity pile.  
"This shit fucking itches," Ter said, scratching his face before leaning back and reaching for the packet of face wipes on the other side of the bed. Nicaise snorted.  
"That's what happens when you wear it on the wrong places," he said, grabbing the pallet of eyeshadow and scanning the back. "And when it's out of date."  
Ter rolled his eyes. "Why do you even have this stuff if you never wear it?"  
"I used to," Nicaise said with a shrug.  "Still would if there was anyone to impress."  
Ter flipped him off and Nicaise idly fidgeted with the waistband of his boxers until Ter swatted his hand away. "You'll get me hard."  
"I'm flattered," Nicaise retorted before pushing Ter off of him and shuffling across the bed to the pile of things they still had to go through.  
Half an hour later, Ter held up the fine-point sharpie from the pile. "Why do you have a sharpie in your makeup shit?"  
"It's for my ankle," Nicaise said, and rolled his leggings up when Ter just gave him a confused look. Ter looked at the 3 rows of numbers that Nicaise knew by heart; _**260216 /  190718 / 041120.**_  
"Are they dates?" he asked a few seconds later and Nicaise nodded.  
"Yeah," he said quietly. "I moved in with Richard on the twenty-sixth of February in twenty sixteen." He played with the hem of his leggings, pretending not to notice when Ter's fingers stilled from idly tracing the numbers. "I told Laurent what happened and got moved out of the Mansion on the nineteenth of July in twenty eighteen. Then I moved in here on the fourth of November twenty twenty."  
Ter was silent for almost a minute. "What happened in those two years in between?"  
"Foster care, group homes and orphanages," Nicaise murmured, shuddering when Ter leant down and gently kissed the skin around his ankle, his mouth moving slowly in a border around the numbers until he was kissing his way up Nicaise's calf.  
"Are you gonna get them tattooed?"  
Nicaise's brain took a few seconds to switch back on.  
"Yeah."  
"I know a guy that'll do it before your eighteenth," Ter murmured against Nicaise's knee and he blinked his eyes open.  
"Is he decent?"  
"Most of the time," Ter said with a shrug.  "But he's hygienic as fuck so it won't go bad."  
Nicaise groaned quietly as Ter kissed up his thighs. "It's he expensive?" The fact he was still stringing coherent sentences together was a fucking miracle, expecially when Ter nipped at his skin through the thin leggings.  
"It'd probably cost you bout a hundred quid, roughly," he murmured.  
Before Nicaise could form a reply Ter had pulled away and was moving to sort through some more of Nicaise's clothes. Nicaise whined. "Seriously?"  
Ter looked over his shoulder nonchalantly. "That's as far as I'm going the now, Nico."  
Nicaise groaned, sitting up and scrubbing his hands over his face. Fucking hell.  
They spent another two hours going through Nicaise's things before they had two bin bags for charity. Nicaise tugged his hoodie on and checked his wallet was still in his jeans pocket before they left, lugging the two bags down the hall and resting them on the elevator floor. "We didn't think this through," Ter muttered and Nicaise groaned.  
"How far's the shop?"  
"Ten minutes?" Ter didn't sound convincing and Nicaise cursed the fact neither of them had cars.  
"You've got your licence right?" he asked and Ter nodded before pausing and looking at him.  
"Why?"  
Nicaise was already calling Auguste. "Can we borrow your car?" he asked before the man could get a word in. There was a pause and a sigh.  
"As long as you're not driving and yous don't wrap it around as tree-"  
"Thanks Gus." Nicaise hung up as the elevator doors opened on the ground floor but Nicaise hit the P button and the doors slid closed again.  
"Don't you need keys?" Ter asked and Nicaise shook his head.  
"His car's economic electric - it's fingerprint recognition on the handle and then a button to start."  
Ter hummed and the doors opened again. Nicaise lead them through the underground car park until they got to Auguste's Tesla. Ter watched as Nicaise ran his fingers under the driver's side door handle until it clicked open. He pushed the front seat forward and they lifted the bags into the back seat before Nicaise walked around the other side of the car while Ter pushed the seat back into place and slid in, closing the door gently.  
"This is fucking Ironman shit," Ter muttered as he looked at all the screens  on the dash. Nicaise hummed in agreement, reaching over and pressing the button to start the engine, and smiled when he saw Ter's eyes widen as the screens all came to life. Nicaise played around with the radio while Ter belatedly pulled his seat belt on and started reversing out of the spot.  
"Do I want my seat belt or airbags?" Nicaise asked and Ter flipped him off.  
"Which way am I going?" he asked instead and Nicaise directed him out of the car park and around the building. They got to the charity store within five minutes and parked on the curb outside, hauling the two bags out and Nicaise ran his fingers under the handle again to lock the doors. In the store, they followed the shop assistant through the back door to the storage room before putting the bags down and following her back to the main floor. Nicaise signed the donations under Damen's Members card while Ter went back outside. When Nicaise went out Ter was leaning against the side of the car, watching the small chapel across the street.  Nicaise unlocked the door and went round to his side but paused when Ter still hadn't moved, eyes still glued to the chapel.  
"You wanna go over?" Ter jumped slightly at the question, glancing at Nicaise before his gaze went back over to the small white building.  
"No, it's just..." Nicaise waited, frowning slightly at Ter's tone. "My mum's birthday is Easter Sunday this year."  
"Oh." What else was there to say?  
Ter shook himself out of his daze and got into the car, but didn't move to start the engine. Instead he sat there, hands on the wheel, almost frozen except for chewing on his lip.  
Nicaise watched him for a few seconds. "Ter-"  
"Don't." Ter hit the button and the engine purred to life. His hands were shaking against the wheel. "Don't say it, Nico."  
Nicaise frowned. "You want to go back, don't you?"  
"It's not that I want to," Ter said. "It's just- I- I don't even know," he groaned, resting his forehead against the wheel.  
"You miss them," Nicaise whispered. Ter nodded.  
"I know I fucking shouldn't but I do. They're bad people and treated me like shit but - but they're my parents."  
The two of them were silent for a few minutes.  
"I missed Richard for ages after social services got involved," Nicaise murmured. "I tried to email him, text him, call him... even tried running away a couple times to try and find him. Maybe more than a couple," he said with a dry smile. Ter was looking at him intently.  
"When did you stop missing him?"  
Nicaise swallowed. "I didn't," he whispered and he felt Ter's gaze change. "I still miss him sometimes. Not a lot, nothing like I used to, but sometimes."  
"When did it get easier?" Ter asked softly.  
"When I realised it wasn't him I was missing; it was what he gave me. The structure, the security, the rules, the undivided attention, the gifts, the praise, the - the reason to do stuff, the rewards and the punishments." Nicaise rested his head back against the leather seat and let himself slide down a little. "When I figured that out it got easier."  
Ter swallowed, looking back to the building before it settled on Nicaise again. Nicaise gazed back at him for a few minutes before he spoke again. "What are the chances of them being home right now?"  
Ter frowned, checking the time on the dash. "Pretty low. Why?"  
"The night I told Laurent and everything changed," Nicaise said quietly, slowly. "I took his ring. He always wore three but there was one he always wore on his pinky. I took it while he was raping me. I don't think he or Laurent noticed. I kept hold of it the whole time everything else was happening." He sighed. "I've still got it."  
"Why?" Ter's voice was barley audible.  
"I don't know. A memento? Or something... Sometimes when I miss it all I'll get it out. It kind of calms me back down. In a backwards fucked up sort of way." He shrugged, glancing over at Ter again.  "We could go back to your parents place and get something like that. Some sort of memory thing for you if you think it'll help."  
Ter was silent for almost a minute before he nodded. Nicaise pulled his seat belt on as Ter pulled out of the spot and swerved onto the road. They were silent the entire way to Ter's house and Nicaise didn't ask when they ended up circling the neighbourhood twice before Ter parked near a corner.  
"Do you want me to stay here or come with?" he asked once Ter cut the engine. Ter bit his cheek.  
"Can you come with me?"  
Nicaise climbed out of the car in answer, quickly locking the doors and following Ter across the street to a large house, up the stairs and then up the front path. Ter unlocked the door and lead the way in, closing and locking it behind them once Nicaise was in he hallway. Nicaise didn't ask why he was locking the door again; he already had a few guesses.  
Instead he waited for Ter to turn around and asked, "Which way?" He followed Ter up the carpeted stairs to their right, trying not to trip on the narrow ones at the corner. There was a framed canvas on the wall three quarters up the stairs and Nicaise paused.  
It was a simple photo of a typical London scene, rain pelting down, double-decker buses, black cab taxis, people walking through the highstreet with umbrellas and hoods, the colours distorted. Richard had had a similar one on one of the walls in the Mansion, but it was an English countryside landscape with people dressed in Victorian-era clothes in the rain. The style and colour distortion was almost identical, though.  
"Nico."  
Nicaise jumped, almost tripping down the stairs as he looked up to where Ter was standing at the far end of the hallway. He hurried up the remaining stairs, following Ter into the master bedroom.   
It was smaller than he expected, and cluttered as fuck. Laurent and Damen usually got on Nicaise's  ass for leaving things around the penthouse but Jesus fucking Christ he was tidy in comparison to Ter's parents. The walls were a dull grey, and there were worn out yellow curtains pulled across the window. Almost the entire surface of the floor had things on it, from shoes to socks to magazines to porn to underwear to random pieces of clothing. There were things scattered across every surface of the room save for the bed.  
Ter toed his way across the room, carefully avoiding knocking anything out of place. When he got close enough he hopped onto the bed and quickly walked across it, sitting down at the head and reaching over to the drawers in one of the bedside cabinets.  
"Why'd you pick that ring?" he asked, not turning to face Nicaise.  "You said he had three, right? Why the pinky one?"  
Nicaise shrugged even though Ter couldn't see. "The first time we met it was that pinky he used to stroke my cheek and wipe dirt away from my eyes. Every time I cried it was that finger he used to touch just under my eyes or my lips. Every other finger hurt in some way or other but his pinky was always gentle. I guess cause it was a good association? The other rings he had hit me with, had forced down my throat and up my ass, threatening to leave them in there if I done anything he didn't like. But the pinky one was always clean."  
Ter hummed quietly, glancing over at Nicaise before he looked back to the small box in his hands. Nicaise tilted his head, watching as Ter held the box for a few more seconds, almost caressing it before opening it and sitting it on the bed. He started gently going through it and Nicaise ducked his head, quietly walking back out to the hallway and leaning on the bannister overlooking the rectangular staircase.  
The walls were plain cream and looked unpainted, and the carpet on the stairs was a nude tone that contrasted the dark wood of the bannister. He idly wondered if the stairs matched it underneath the carpet and had to look away before he could think too much on the urge to pull up a corner to find out. When he looked back at Ter he was holding up a thin gold chain, holding it gently between his fingers. Nicaise looked away again. From his place at the top of the stairs he could see the small hallway downstairs, part of what looked like an alcove or a cupboard to the left and the front door. It was plain white with some scuff marks and a small window of frosted glass. There were little scratch marks at the letterbox he hoped were from a dog or cat.  
Behind him, he heard a drawer close and looked over his shoulder to see Ter shuffling to the other side of the bed and carefully toeing his way across the room to the wardrobe.  When he knelt down and seemed to be going through something in there Nicaise looked away again. He listened as Ter moved metal around and pulled his phone out, about to text Laurent and ask if they wanted takeout for dinner when movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. When he looked down he barely registered the door handle moving down and a shadow on the other side of the glass before he was backtracking into the bedroom and shutting the door.  
"What-"  
Nicaise clamped a hand over Ter's mouth with no memory of moving across the room to him.  
"Grab something and move. We're leaving. Now," he hissed.  
Ter pulled away and was about to speak again when they both froze as they heard two pairs of footsteps downstairs and two voices. Ter slid something into his front pocket at the same time as shoving a box back into the wardrobe and shutting the doors gently, before gesturing to Nicaise and crawling under the bed. Nicaise grimaced but followed suit as they heard the footsteps start up the stairs, the voices getting louder. Nicaise had barely fixed the overhanging sheet when the door opened and the two of them froze.  
"I told you not sticking a clothes hanger up your pussy when you were pregnant with him was a mistake."  
Nicaise turned his head to look at Ter as his father stomped into the room. Ter was already looking down and Nicaise could see him folding in on himself at his father's words.  
"Oh as if this is all my fault. You're the one who didn't want to wear a fucking condom."  
"If I'd known it would mean squirting him into you then I would've worn a whole bloody packet of them."  
"If ifs and buts were butter and nuts then we'd all survive winter," his mother retorted and Nicaise frowned. What the fuck did that even mean?  
His father shouted and cursed her put but Nicaise barely noticed. Ter flinched all over as soon as the man raised his voice. Carefully he reached over and took Ter's hand, slowly moving it to rest in his hair.  
"Breathe," he whispered, barely audible. "I'm not gonna let them near you, Terry. I promise."  
Terry tightened his fingers in Nicaise's curls in answer and Nicaise gave him a small relieved smile. They stayed like that whole Ter's parents moved around the room arguing and then eventually left, shutting the door behind them. They went downstairs and a few seconds later the TV cut on downstairs.  
Ter let out a sigh of relief, letting go of Nicaise and they rolled out from under the bed, standing up and dusting themselves off.  
"How quiet can you be?" Ter murmured and Nicaise paused before answering.  
"How quiet do I need to be?"  
"Silent," Ter whispered. "The quickest way out is the front door but it's right next to the living room. If they look over they'll see us."  
Nicaise considered that for a few seconds before he toed out of his bases.  Ter shit him a grateful smile as he did the same. They eased the door open, Nicaise shutting it softly behind them as Ter tiptoed down the hallway to the staircase, staying low to the ground. Nicaise followed suit, the two of them carrying their shoes and moving slowly, going from crouching to almost bum-shuffling down the stairs, staying against the bannister to avoid any creaking.  Three steps above the floor, Ter reached forward and eased the front door open, barely the width of his forearm before he was stepping onto the porch, avoiding the floorboards right at the door. Assuming it was because they would squeak, Nicaise copied and ducked underwater Ter's arm. They stayed low as Ter shut the door again, easing it shut. Swallowing, they slowly made their way down the path, then down the stairs, only breaking into a run once they reached the street. Nicaise hauled the driver's door open, crawling across to the passenger seat as Ter slid in and started the engine, pulling away before the door had completely shut.  
It wasn't until they stopped at a traffic light that Ter let out a strangled "Fuck!"  
Nicaise nodded in agreement, groaning lowly as Ter revved the car and the vibrations went straight through him. He was quickly realising how fucking hard he was - how hard he'd been that entire time Ter's parents had been within hearing distance of them.  
Ter revved the engine again and Nicaise snapped back to himself, only realising how close he was to cumming untouched when he felt his orgasm threatening to build in his stomach.  
"Fuck Ter ease off the revs," he groaned, staying perfectly still. Ter looked over, presumably about to ask why when he saw Nicaise's face and his expression froze.  
"Sorry Nico," he said quietly and slowly eased off the pedal. Nicaise groaned, gritting his teeth as the car's vibrations eased off. Ter stayed silent for a few seconds as he took in the state Nicaise was in. He clenched almost every muscle he could as he tried to hold himself in check.  
"Which one of us do you need to get off?"  
Nicaise frowned, sure he'd misheard him. When he looked over Ter was leaning back in his seat and undoing his jeans. He looked up when Nicaise gulped loudly. Or maybe he groaned. Had he groaned?  
"I can pull over if you need to suck me off, Nico," he said gently. Nicaise groaned, trying to stop his hips from rutting against the seat. "Or you can get off - you're allowed to." His words almost sent Nicaise over the edge and he let out a humiliating lying high noise with his groan as he held himself back. He shook his head and Ter tilted his.  
"You don't need your associations fucked up," he said, trying to stay still.  
Ter chewed his lip.  
"What did you need, Nico?" he asked quietly and Nicaise swallowed.  
"I'll just have a cold shower when we get back," he murmured, not entirely succeeding in biting back a moan when Ter shifted gears and pulled away from the light.  
The look Ter sent him said everything, but the fucking prickhead still asked "Are you sure you can last that long?"  
Not at this rate, Nicaise thought. "Yeah," he said. "If you take the shortcut."  
"Then tell me which way I'm going."  
Nicaise did as told, directing Ter through the city. Normally it would've taken almost twenty minutes to drive from Ter's neighborhood to the penthouse but Nicaise's shortcut took out unnecessary traffic and junctions, meaning Ter was pulling around the back of the building and down the slope to the car park in under ten minutes. By the time the engine was cut off Nicaise was practically dry-humping the fucking air. Ter cast him a weary glance as they got out the car, trying to speedwalk across the lot to the elevator. Groaning, Nicaise leant back against the handrail, tilting his head against the mirror. If his jeans so much as shifted right now he'd lose the last smidgen of control he had.  
"Why are you fighting it off so much?" Ter murmured and Nicaise chewed his lip.  
"It just feels wrong - getting off on us nearly getting caught by your jackass parents and fuck knows what would've happened if they had? It just feels too fucked up. It's... it's the same as why I didn't wanna jack it when you were getting surgery."  
Ter was silent and the doors opened to the waxed hallway. They quickly made their way to the penthouse, Nicaise ignoring Laurent and Auguste's voices as he hurried to his room, already pulling his clothes off and not bothering to shut the door as he bolted for his wetroom. He could hear Ter's muffled voice right before he cut the water on. It was look-warm and he whined as he turned the dial to the coldest setting, hissing and automatically recoiling from the water.  
Fifteen minutes later he shivered his way back to his bedroom, pulling on a pair of pajamas, a fleecy hoodie and a pair of fluffy socks under his bootie slippers before he padded through to the main living area.  
"You two are absolute idiots," Laurent's voice was saying. But he didn't sound mad or disappointed. Scared, maybe. Definitely relieved.  
"I know it was stupid but I honestly didn't think they'd get home early," Ter said. It sounded as if it wasn't the first time he'd said the same thing.  
Nicaise walked over to the sofa where Auguste and Damen were, curling up in the space between them. Ter was standing at the kitchen island, opposite Laurent who was on the other side of the counter.  
"Nuca," Laurent said and Nicaise grimaced.  
"Laurent."  
"Tell me Ter is bullshitting right now."  
"What about?" Nicaise hedged and Laurent's gaze turned colder. Fuck.  
"Oh just about yous deciding to go to his parents place and go through their stuff, them getting home early and yous almost getting fucking caught."  
"Uhm," Nicaise said eloquently and Laurent laughed dryly.  
"Bloody hell I thought you two were smarter than that."  
"We didn't go just to go through their stuff," Nicaise said. Laurent's guarded expression said Ter hadn't really explained what they had been doing there. Shit.  
"Do go on," Laurent drawled and Nicaise sighed.  
"He said he missed his parents cause it's his mum's birthday on Easter Sunday. I said it might be a good idea if he had a - a keepsake or a memento or something. Something to remind him of the good things so that he can feel a bit better. He agreed so we went to his place and he went through their things looking for an object for each of them. Then his parents got back and we hid under the bed, then Ter made sure we got out safely."  
Laurent's eyes sharpened and Nicaise sighed, already knowing what the next question would be.  
"And why, perfavor, did you think it'd be a good idea for him to have a keepsake from his parents?"  
"Because I've got one from Richard," Nicaise said, making sure his voice was clear and steady. The flash of surprise of Laurent's face said he'd succeeded. "I took it that last night when he was distracted raping my ass raw and I've kept it - I still have it. It calms me down when I miss him, reminds me of the good times, the good memories. It really does help.  I just thought it could help Ter too."  
Laurent groaned, leaning against the counter.  
"What did you take?"  
"His pinkie ring," Nicaise said quietly and Laurent nodded slowly.  
"Alright." He looked between them both and sighed. "You're both grounded. For forever. And yous are both on washing up duty for the next month. And cleaning duty."  
They murmured aquisense and went back through to the bedroom, shutting the doors behind them.  
"That went well," Ter remarked as he flopped down on the bed and Nicaise hummed as he copied.  
"Bloody marvelous," he said. He was itching to ask what Ter had taken, what he'd chosen, just as he knew Ter was dying to ask what the ring looked like. But neither did, and they were both silent until Nicaise reached over and turned his record player on, Pink Floyd filling the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asthma attack - Noah Adams  
> No good deed - Wicked  
> The best day - Taylor Swift  
> Mine - Taylor Swift  
> Family portrait - P!nk  
> Another brick in the wall - pink Floyd  
> Breathe - pink Floyd


	11. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise turns 17 and heals some more with Ter's help, and then flirts with an alien

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for:  
> Underage sex (descriptive I guess)  
> Mentions and referemces to past abuse   
> Sliigghhtt Non-con I guess?  
> Me bullshitting physiology

"Are you having a party?"  
Nicaise tilted his head back, looking at Ter. He was shirtless across Nicaise's floor, tattoo on show. They had both gotten a tattoo at the parlor Ter had gotten his ears pierced at, since he knew a guy there who done undertable stuff and wouldn't ask for proof of their age. Nicaise had gotten his numbers inked into his calf above his ankle while Ter had gotten a phoenix up his side. It had taken almost four hours but it was fucking gorgous. To say Laurent hadn't been thrilled the first time he'd seen it would have been an understatement; he'd waltzed off up the stairs lamenting over how they were going to be the death of him someday. He hadn't been mad though and had made sure to tell them the ink was a good idea, while Damen had lectured them about responsible decisions and looking after the wounds.   
A few months on, both tattoos had healed and Nicaise was considering getting another.  
He shrugged, rolling onto his stomach to look at Ter better.  
"I don't really feel like having a party. Ben's having a Halloween one anyway, so I'll probably just go to that."  
Ter hummed. "What do yous usually do?"  
"Brunch, presents... fucking good food," he laughed and Ter smiled. Nicaise chewed his lip, ducking his head. "I was thinking..." He trailed off, knowing Ter was watching him now. He swallowed. "I wanna try again." As he spoke he looked back up to meet Ter's eyes, quickly glancing away, back to his chest. "I was thinking we've figured out more of my lines and you've got a rough idea of how to calm me down. I mean if you don't want to I get it I-"  
Ter's hands landed in Nicaise's hair and he went silent.   
"Of course I want to try again, Nico," he murmured and Nicaise let out a shaky breath. "When were you thinking of?"  
"The weekend before my birthday," Nicaise murmured. His birthday was on the Tuesday then Halloween was on the Friday.   
Ter nodded slowly, probably counting the dates up. "Alright. If you still want to try then we can try."  
Nicaise smiled lightly and Ter kissed his forehead. "And if you change your mind before then or even on the day, I won't be mad or upset. Ok?"  
"Ok," Nicaise murmured. Ter nipped his nose and Nicaise rolled his eyes. "There's something else..."  
"What?" Ter didn't sound irritated or annoyed or even impatient as he waited for Nicaise to speak.   
It took three tries before Nicaise was able to say the words out loud. "Can I top you?" Even at that they were barely more than a whisper. He couldn't meet Ter's eyes even when the other guy knelt and rested their foreheads together.  
"Yes," he said gently and Nicaise shivered as he felt his breath against his skin.   
"Have you gotten topped before?" Nicaise whispered.  
"Only a few times," Ter said, "and I think they rushed it. But I wanna try it again." He paused. "Have you topped a guy before?"  
Nicaise shook his head and Ter kissed his jaw. "Only girls," he said, not even a whisper.  
"Alright," Ter murmured against his neck. "We can both try this out together."  
Nicaise nodded and Ter kissed his nose. "Good boy," he whispered, grinning when Nicaise shivered again.

  
A week later, Nicaise was pacing while he waited for Ter to get back from the labs. They'd made sure Damen was home tonight and Laurent was meant to be home tomorrow. Laurent had asked if they were trying third base again, then had told Damen to cancel his phone calls for the day since he couldn't cancel his business dinner.  
He heard the penthouse door open and shut and Ter's voice floated down the hall, making Nicaise pause.  
"Yeah I know it's been a while - no you don't. Trust me, you don't wanna know." As he spoke he walked into the room, shutting the French doors behind himself and raising an eyebrow at Nicaise who was standing in the middle of the floor.  
"I'm not going back," Ter said on a sigh and Nicaise quirked an eyebrow. Ter lowered his phone to his chest, covering the mic. "My sister. Called out of the blue twenty minutes ago."  
"Is that good or bad?" Nicaise asked quietly and Ter shrugged.  
"Not decided yet."  
Nicaise hummed and Ter put the phone back to his ear, leaning against the door as he listened to his sister talk about whatever is was sisters talked about. Smirking, Nicaise walked over and knelt in front of Ter. He started to say he had to go but stopped when Nicaise shook his head.   
"Keep talking to her," he murmured and Ter narrowed his eyes.  
"Uhm - yeah sorry it's just I've got homework to do but it can wait. What were you saying?"  
Nicaise waited a few seconds to make to sure the conversation had resumed before he undone Ter's fly. He ignored Ter's choked noise as he swallowed him whole, using one arm to force his hips back against the door and keep them there. Ter's hand was in Nicaise's hair less than a second later but Nicaise pulled it away, pinning his wrist against the door too.   
Normally they both loved Ter having his fingers in Nicaise's hair while he was blowing him, but they'd agreed Nicaise could be in charge this time around. And that meant no hair pulling to control his movements.   
Ter bit back a groan and his head thumped back against the door.   
Nicaise sucked him off while Ter tried to string sentences together that were even remotely related to what his sister was banging on about.  
"Yeah, I know they're just - fuck!"   
Nicaise smirked, flicking his tongue against Ter's tip again and the guy groaned. "Uhm - nothing. I just- just stabbed my toe." Nicaise grinned and gently bit Ter's thigh, sucking his way up the inside of his groin and hip. "Yeah I've got homework I'm just uhm getting something to eat. What was that you'd been saying about Johnny?"  
Nicaise continued sucking him off until Ter stuttered out a quick, "Sorry my battery's about to die, I'll call you back later," and hung up, gripping the phone tightly as he came. When Nicaise swallowed Ter hit his fist against the door, groaning loudly, his hips trying to buck underneath Nicaise's arm and his wrist flexing under his hand.  
"What the fucking hell was that all for?" he gasped once he'd finished and Nicaise pulled back, wiping his mouth on his arm.  
"Don't act like you've not got a slight exhibitionist kink, Terry."   
Ter huffed but didn't argue, looking down at where Nicaise was still kneeling. "Maybe I should let you be in control more often. That was hot as shit."  
"Speaking of shit," Nicaise said as he stood up, "You're getting in the shower."  
"What's a shower got to do with shit?" Ter asked as he walked towards the wetroom.  
"I don't want shit on my dick," Nicaise retorted and Ter barked out a laugh.   
"And I s'pose the blow job was to get me to relax?"  
"Obviously," Nicaise said. "You don't think I'd suck you just for the hell of it, do you?"  
Ter flipped him off as he shoved the door over but didn't bother closing it. The water cut on and Nicaise's phone vibrated a few seconds later.   
' ** _Pretty sure his majesty said no shower sex'_ **  
Nicaise rolled his eyes and went up the hall to where Damen was getting food out the fridge.  
"We're not having shower sex," he said, smirking when Damen jumped and turned to look at him.  
"I thought we told you not to just appear like that," he sighed and Nicaise tilted his head.  
"Yous did. Multiple times." He turned and went back to the room, leaving Damen yelling after him in the kitchen.  
After shutting his door he tugged his top off, dropping it as he flopped on the bed to wait for Ter.   
He wasn't as nervous as he'd thought he would be, but he wasn't as relaxed or excited as he'd hoped for. What if he wasn't good at topping? He knew he was alright at fucking girls - the women he'd gotten trained by when he was younger had made sure of that. But that didn't mean a thing when it came to guys - he'd slept with plenty of bi and pan guys who were great at fucking girls but clueless when it came to fucking guys and vice versa.   
And what if he enjoyed it?   
One of the reasons he had never topped a guy was he didn't want to enjoy it - he didn't want to know how it felt to be the one in control, to see a guy writhing under him, to feel him, to be able to make him scream or cry... he didn't want to know if he enjoyed that. He didn't want to enjoy it. Richard had enjoyed it, had told Nicaise he'd enjoy it too. What if he was right?  
Nicaise startled when Ter sat on the bed in front of him, still warm from the shower, hair dripping wet.  
"Nico," he hummed gently and Nicaise swallowed, focusing on him as Ter's hand carded through his hair. "We still good?"  
Nicaise paused, thinking about it before he nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly, "we're still good."  
Ter climbed onto Nicaise's lap, kissing him softly. "What's going on in there?" he murmured, tapping Nicaise's temple.   
Nicaise lightly sucked at his lip for a few seconds before answering. "Something he said."  
Ter nuzzled at Nicaise's neck. "What was it?"  
"That I'd enjoy topping a lot," he muttered into Ter's shoulder. "That I'd be just like him."  
Ter paused and pulled back enough to look at Nicaise. "You're nothing like him, Nico." When Nicaise didn't answer, Ter chewed his lip. "What did he say about you enjoying bottoming?"  
Nicaise blinked, slightly confused by the question. "That I'd always go back to my training, and I'd always feel him every time a guy fucked me, I'd always taste him every time I sucked another guy off."  
"Did you taste him when you were sucking my brains out of my dick twenty minutes ago?"  
Nicaise frowned at Ter. "No."  
"So he was wrong about that," he said, quiet but firm. "So who says he's not wrong about this too?"  
Nicaise played with Ter's hair as he thought those words over. "But what if I enjoy it?"  
Ter was silent as he watched him for almost a minute, neither of them moving from their spot on the bed.   
"Then you'll have proven him wrong." Nicaise squinted so Ter went on. "He said you'd be like him. I assume he meant arrogant, selfish, perverted, cruel, manipulative and ungodly." When Nicaise ducked his head Ter slipped a finger under his chin to bring his gaze back up. "But I don't think you're anything like that, Nico. I know you're not. And I think you're gonna enjoy topping - I think you'll like being the one calling the shots, and being in a guy's ass feels so fucking diffrent from being in a girl, Nico. If you hadn't asked to top I was gonna suggest it."   
Nicaise snapped his gaze up at that and Ter smiled gently. "But I do really think you'll enjoy it. And I think you're going to be careful, you're going to be patient, you're going to be more focused on me than on yourself - just like you always are. You always want me to get off first, you always care whether or not I cum, whether I've enjoyed it or not, what I think and how I feel. I really doubt that's gonna change just cause you're gonna get to keep your dick warm," Ter murmured and grinned when Nicaise laughed. "And if you don't enjoy it, then no harm done," Ter whispered. "It's another thing found. You'll get to prove him wrong either way."  
Nicaise ducked his head against Ter's shoulders, letting the words sink in.   
"Alright," he murmured after a few minutes. Ter shifted against him.  
"Still wanna try?"  
"Yeah."  
"Good," Ter said quietly. "I'm fucking freezing my ass off. How is there never any central heating in here?"  
Nicaise laughed, lightly shoving him onto his back and moving to between his legs.   
"Cause I'm the central fucking heating," he said and kissed Ter's laugh away.

Almost two hours later Nicaise collapsed next to Ter, panting as his muscles ached in a completely different way than he'd been used to.   
It had taken a while, and they'd both said 'yellow' at least twice so Nicaise could figure out what he was thinking and to check themselves over for any underlying panic or thoughts, and Nicaise had spent over twenty minutes eating Ter's ass out before he'd been able to finger and stretch him. Ter had tensed up slightly but insisted he wasn't yellow so Nicaise had blown him again to get him to relax, which had worked for both of them. By the time Nicaise had eventually managed to get himself to slide into Ter and start fucking him he'd been desperate and Ter had already came twice.   
They'd agreed to use condoms partly because Ter had joked it was a right of passage for Nicaise to have to wear one for a guy, and partly because Nicaise had wanted the safety net - he hated how condoms felt when he was fucking a girl and they always made him last longer, and neither of them had known how long he'd last if he managed to fuck Ter. Ter had said it would be one extreme or the other - either Nicaise would cum within seconds or he'd have trouble getting over the edge. When Nicaise had pointed out he knew his timing with girls Ter had reminded him a girl apparently felt completely diffrent from a guy, which Nicaise had caved to since Ter obviously knew what he was talking about.  
And he'd been right. Fucking his ass had felt completely diffrent to fucking a girl. So much tighter and warmer and smoother somehow. It hadn't even been a whole minute before Nicaise had realised he was getting close. He hadn't even had time to reach around and start jerking Ter off before he'd came, biting Ter's shoulder to stay quiet. Ter had jerked back against him and Nicaise had barely finished before he was pushing himself back up slightly and trying to find his rhythm again, not giving himself a chance to reboot.   
He'd only lasted a few minutes the second time around but had managed to jerk Ter off at the same time, making sure the guy came before he'd pulled out, almost ripped the condom off and quickly jacked himself off, cumming over Ter's back.  
Nicaise groaned lowly, turning his head to face Ter. The guy rolled onto his side, pulling Nicaise closer and Nicaise nuzzled his head into the space under Ter's chin.  
"Your hips and thighs are gonna feel like death in the morning," Ter murmured and Nicaise yawned.  
"At least it's not gonna be my back," he said and Ter hummed in agreement or acknowledgment.  
"So who was right?"  
It took Nicaise's brain a few seconds to catch up and figure out what Ter meant. When it did he kissed along the guy's pulse line in his neck. "You were."  
Ter kissed Nicaise's hair and Nicaise knew the prickhead was grinning. He could feel it. He was also too tired to care. Within seconds of them both getting comfortable Nicaise had passed out against Ter's chest.

His legs and stomach felt like they were trying to kill him. Groaning, Nicaise curled up, snuggling into the warmth next to him.   
"Cold?" Ter's voice was deep and rough from sleep and Nicaise ignored tried to ignore how much it turned him on.  
"Sore."  
"Coldsore? Already? I mean that's got to be the worst lu-"  
Nicaise swatted at Ter's face to shut him up.  
"Fucking prickhead."  
Ter laughed, kissing Nicaise's hairline.

When they went through for breakfast Laurent and Damen gave them an almost identical raised-eyebrow look. They managed to stay quiet until Ter went back through to get dressed.  
"So did you not have a panic attack last night or did he manage to calm you down before it escalated?"  
Nicaise rolled his eyes at Damen. "There wasn't a panic attack. Or nightmare."  
Damen opened his mouth to ask something but shut it and looked at Laurent, as if he wasn't sure how to phrase it. Nicaise smirked.  
"You're actually going to make us ask, aren't you?" Damen muttered and groaned when Nicaise gave him a far too innocent look.   
"Ask what?"  
"Did he fuck you?" Laurent asked and Damen rolled his eyes. Despite how long they'd been together he still preferred asking politely whereas Laurent wasn't afraid of crossing boundaries.  
Nicaise shook his head. "I fucked him."  
Laurent's eyebrows shot up before he could stop them and Damen nodded to himself.   
"I don't even wanna ask what those reactions are for," Nicaise said, "but I wanna know the story behind them."  
Damen smirked at Laurent who flipped him off.  
"How long did you last?" Damen asked instead and Nicaise shrugged.  
"Barely a minute and then a couple minutes. Why?"  
"Cause you still lasted longer than Laurent did his first time topping," Damen said with a shit-eating grin. "Actually, he finished before he even started."   
Nicaise grinned. "I'll fucking take that."

Damen left an hour later as Auguste arrived and Nicaise and Ter went back to their room. The day passed with them messing around online, finding new porn sites and Ter showing Nicaise the website he'd found the traffic light system on. Nicaise had paged through the entire blog site, reading every article on it. After the first three Ter had wound up studying. Fucking typical.   
After almost four hours on the site, Nicaise had taken a break and just lay spaced out on the bed with his record player on, occasionally reciting chem or math stuff for Ter.   
"How do you not know the periodic table off by heart?" Nicaise asked after Ter had asked him for another element's symbol. "You have a fucking keychain with it on it."   
Ter flipped him off as he scribbled down more notes. "You try remembering this shit when your brain is still in the fucking gutter."  
"My brain lives in the fucking gutter," Nicaise retorted, smirking at the ceiling when Ter groaned.  
The day passed and Nicaise wound up falling asleep on the sofa watching Captain America. He got good marks on his first major quiz in his pre-law class on Monday and then got birthday brunch and birthday sex on the Tuesday.

...

"It's bloody freezing my tits are gonna fucking fall off at this rate."  
Nicaise rolled his eyes but didn't argue. It was fucking baltic. Ter was in ripped jeans and layered tshirts which were all ripped and slashed, with fake blood splattered pretty much everywhere and his hair back combed. Apparently he was some sort of victim though Nicaise couldn't remember if he'd been going for zombie or vampire.   
Nicaise on the other hand was sorely regretting his costume choice of a latex black onesie, black leather boots and gloves and fake fangs - some sort of cat creature, he'd decided. He'd ordered a tailed butt plug online and then separated the tail, pinning it on the outside of the suit. Ter had pouted but hadn't commented. They'd both thought their costumes were good when they'd been in the bedroom but now walking down the street in 5°C night air with no jackets or anything to protect them from the wind, they were regretting not taking Laurent up on his offer of a ride to the party.  
The only partial upside to it being so cold was Nicaise didn't have to worry about random boners happening for a while. The suit had been tight enough that the waistband for his boxers had been clearly visible through it so he'd gone commando.   
By the time they let themselves into Ben's house, Nicaise was convinced he'd never get hard again.  
Ben always had the best Halloween parties. His parents worked in property so their house was a fucking city Mansion. And they were almost always out of town for days at a time so Ben got to throw all the parties he wanted as long as he tidied up before they got back. The neighbours hated him.  
As always the place was covered in fake cobwebs and fake blood was splattered across most of the floors and walls. This year Ben had said he was taking decorating seriously and Nicaise could see he'd meant it; the Mansion was decked out like a haunted house, bloody footprints leading a way through it to the diffrent rooms. The main party was in the kitchen, conservatory and out the back; the rest of the house was free to explore and there were people milling around at their own pace.  
Ter lead the way across the foyer, the two of them glancing in the living room to see the furniture was scattered and knocked over, blood sprayed across the walls and ceiling, the armchair covered in a corpse with its neck slit. "Where the fuck does he find these people?" Ter muttered and Nicaise shook his head - no one knew where Ben hired the actors from.   
There were four rooms on the ground floor, the footprints disappearing under the doors to each of them in turn. Nicaise followed Ter through each, both of them yelping and jumping back when a corpse moved, moaning and crawling across the floor at them, an axe through its brain. In the next room there were supposed skinned corpses hanging from the ceiling, lumps of flesh made to look like dismembered torsos sitting on barstools and limbs across tables. The downstairs bathroom had bloody handprints and footprints on the floor and walls and across the shower curtain. When Nicaise looked closer there was blood on the shower floor and around the drain. The large broom closet under the stairs had a headless corpse in it with a load of pumpkins carved into skulls around it.  
"Wicked," Ter murmured as they closed the door again and headed upstairs.  
Unlike the ground floor, the second floor was dark, lampshades and materials thrown over the lights in the hallway. The bathroom light was flickering when they opened the door and Ter shouted, jumping back as a guy dressed as a Wolf man jumped at them. Nicaise laughed and Ter elbowed him in the ribs. "For fucks sake - he's fucking lucky I don't actually need the loo."  
Nicaise grinned and they headed to the large hallway closet, frowning when it was just jackets and coats hanging up. "Maybe the guy went on a break?" Ter mused and Nicaise squinted into he shadows.   
"I gu-" Before he could get the word out two arms lunged out of the coats and pulled him in. Nicaise yelped, wriggling out of the grip and backing up to the door where Ter was laughing.   
The first bedroom was made to look like a torture chamber with chains and metal tables and restraints. There was a guy dressed in a nude latex or leather suit and a baldcap leaning over one of the tables where a corpse was tied down, random incisions made along his body and a tray of large needles, probes and surgical tools next to him. The other table was bare.   
"More creatures," the skin suit guy said in a comical voice and Nicaise grinned as he started waddling over. "More creatures to practice on. More creatures to see." The bald cap and makeup made his eyes look fucking giant.   
"Come, come, come," he said and Nicaise glanced at Ter before grinning and letting the guy lead him towards the empty metal slab. He hopped on and swallowed as the guy done the restraints up, obviously loose enough to pull away from but tight enough to stop him from just falling back off the table or hitting or kicking him.  
Ter stood by the doorway, smirking at Nicaise.   
The alien guy brought the tray of tools over and used a magnifying glass to look at Nicaise's face, prodding with a rubbery finger at his jaw and chin before using one of the long tools to open his mouth and poke at his gums and teeth.  
"Are you a fucking dentist?" Nicaise asked around the tool and the alien paused, looking at him with that same expression.  
"Creature talks?"  
Nicaise laughed and the guy started prodding at his latex suit, before tilting his head. "Creature has skin from our brothers."   
"Yeah I killed them and took their skin," he retorted. By now there were a few other people standing in the doorway behind Ter, laughing and grinning as they watched Nicaise getting prodded.  
"The betrayal," the alien said in that same voice before using a hooked tool to move the overlay of the fabric and unzipped Nicaise's suit down to his waist. "Creature stole the skin but did not become one with it."  
"I was gonna do that later," he said easily. He could see the guy trying not to laugh but it was right there in his eyes.  
"Creature is soft," he said as he poked Nicaise's ribs and stomach with another tool.  
"Not for long if you keep touching me like that."  
Ter barked out a laugh and Nicaise caught a glimpse of a few people holding their phones up, filming the scene.  
The alien tilted his head and Nicaise could see the challenge in the guy's gaze.   
"How many midsummers has Creature seen?" he asked as he kept poking Nicaise. When he got to his stomach Nicaise grinned, trying not to laugh.   
"As many as you want me to have seen, mate," he said through his teeth.  
"Such riddles," the alien said. "Creature always speaks on such riddles."  
Usually the actors and corpses weren't allowed to interact if someone was under sixteen- and they definitely weren't allowed to scene with them. And Ben had told everyone online they were only invited if they were legal. Which Nicaise wasn't- but he'd flirted with the guy and his sister often enough that it didn't really matter.  
"Nineteen," Nicaise said and he heard Ter say something but didn't catch what.   
The guy narrowed his eyes at Nicaise before he kept prodding at his stomach and waist. After a few seconds he stopped and peered at Nicaise.   
"Keep going," he laughed. "That feels good."  
The alien came down closer and went through the tools on Nicaise's stomach and ribs before taking one that looked like a mini version of the sticks blind people had, and poked at Nicaise's hips with it. He pushed against the dip between Nicaise's hips, his lower stomach and the sides of his hips in a quick sort of pattern and Nicaise yelped when his hips bucked.   
"The fuck-?"  
He got cut off when the alien did it again but included his lower ribs and Nicaise barely held back a full body shudder. He couldn't stop the loud groan though.  
Ter swore but he sounded like he was grinning.  
"Creature," the alien said, sounding scandalised. "Rude creature, rude creature." As he spoke he undid Nicaise's restraints and pulled him up from the slab, chasing him across the room. "Rude creature rude creature." Nicaise laughed, yelping when the guy slapped his ass. "Very rude creature."  
Nicaise grinned as he stopped at the door next to Ter, zipping his suit back up.  
One of the girls in the group around them was laughing. The guy next to her - Nicaise thought he recognised him from one of Ter's Anatomy classes - looked sympathetic but before he could speak she was already talking a mile a minute.  
"You guys have to check out the attic. It's so cool - way better than anything Ben's pulled before. Nuca you're gonna love it its right up your street. Oh! But you have to drink the stuff at the door."  
Nicaise looked at Ter and shrugged. "Sounds good."  
They started up the hall but stopped when the guy shouted after them. Nicaise turned and the guy gave him a pointedly slow once-over. "You're gonna regret that suit in a minute or two."  
"Aye right," Nicaise said and turned to follow Ter up the hall to the door that lead up to the attic. It was three flights and the light was turned off making the entire stairwell pitch black. By the top of the first flight Nicaise was regretting his costume - and the lack of underwear.   
"Marko."  
"Polo," Ter muttered, sounding about a foot away from him. Nicaise held his arms out, trying to feel for Ter, grabbing what he thought was his arm a few seconds later.  
"Are you on a stair or the landing bit?"   
"Landing bit I think," Ter said. "Why?"   
"Don't fucking fall backwards," Nicaise said and kept his hands on Ter's body as he knelt down. Ter swore under his breath.  
"Nico-"  
"That guy hit some sort of pressure point or something," Nicaise pouted, not caring how whiney he sounded. Undoing another guys fly in literal pitch blackness should've been considered some sort of accomplishment by some organisation somewhere.   
He clumsily pushed Ter's waistbands down, feeling around and eventually getting him into his mouth. Ter hissed, and his hands were in Nicaise's hair almost instantly. Nicaise stayed still, keeping his jaw slack and let Ter fuck his throat as he hurried to undo his suit again, this time all the way down. Ter groaned when he heard Nicaise start to jack himself off.   
"Nico - fuck - what pressure point did - did he fucking g-get?"  
Nicaise hummed in reply, loving how it got another groan out of Ter. He was already close as fu-  
Nicaise pulled his hand away from himself as if he'd gotten burned, whining around Ter's cock. He was already right on the fucking edge. Ter dug his fingers into Nicaise's scalp at the same time. "Hold it, Nico," he muttered lowly. Nicaise whined, trying to clench his stomach. He had only came untouched a handful of times but he wasn't dumb enough to think that wasn't going to happen again this time. He dug his fingers into Ter's hips, trying to get him to go faster.  
"Nico, wait like a good boy," he muttered and Nicaise groaned, forcing himself to keep his jaw lax. He was way too fucking close. If he even brushed his cock against his leg he was gonna cum. What the fuck had that guy done?  
Ter gripped his hair tighter and fucked his throat faster, rougher, grunting as he got closer. By the time he held Nicaise's head against his base and came down his throat Nicaise was barely holding on to his sanity and control.  
"Finish yourself off," Ter murmured and Nicaise's hand dropped back down instantly, not minding that Ter kept his cock in Nicaise's mouth. It was grounding.  
Nicaise whimpered around Ter as he came in his hand, even stronger than he'd expected. When he was done Ter let him pull away but kept a hand in his hair while Nicaise licked and sucked his hand clean.  
"What the fucking hell did he press?" he muttered and let Ter pull him up to stand.  
"Where did he press?" As he spoke Ter moved Nicaise's hand to his own stomach, and Nicaise clumsily found the places the guy had prodded with the stick. Ter swore.  
"No more cumming tonight."  
Nicaise frowned. "Wh-"  
"He hit a major pressure point and basically turned off your orgasm control. You're lucky you got hard - it could've just happened randomly while you were soft. But if that was gonna happen it would've been within the first twenty seconds or so." He ran his hand up Nicaise's arm to his jaw. "But he could've gone even a little bit off and fucked you up big time - to the point of paralysing your control switch, basically. And if that happened we'd be going to A&E."  
"But why no more cumming?"  
"Cause if he only turned the switch off for a little while then you cumming any more could keep it turned off and then you're fucked." Ter sighed, and Nicaise could imagine him tilting his head. "Let me know if you start feeling randomly pent up or close again, ok? Even just a little."  
Nicaise chewed his lip. "Alright. Are we still gonna go see the attic?"  
"No. I don't want you getting horny from getting scared."   
Sighing, Nicaise ducked his head. He wanted to argue but he knew Ter was probably right. He zipped his suit back up, trying to wipe his face on his gloves while Ter tucked himself back in before they carefully made their way back down the stairs and felt around for the door.   
They made their way back downstairs and out the Mansion, walking slowly along the street. By the time they got back to the penthouse Nicaise was shivering.  
"Get changed and heat back up slowly," Ter said. "As in layers and layers."  
"And layers and layers and layers," Nicaise muttered as he went down the hall to his room. He came out a few minutes later in a duckfoot onesie with a load of blankets and pillows and Ter smiled.  
"Nest up on the couch," he murmured before going to get changed. Nicaise sighed, piling the blankets and cushions up around himself until he had an almost cocooned nest on the sofa.   
Upstairs, the shower from Laurent and Damen's room cut off. Nicaise tilted his head back as the door opened and Damen followed Laurent out, the two of them in their boxers. Of course.  
"You're home early," Laurent commented and Nicaise yawned.  
"An alien fucked my dick up with a blind persons stick."  
Both men paused on the staircase and looked down at him for a few seconds before slowly continuing.  
"Terence!" Laurent called as he made his way to the kitchen island. "Be a sweetheart and get your ass in here!"  
Ter walked through the doorway a few seconds later, still pulling a hoodie on.  
"What?"  
Laurent pointed at Nicaise. "Explain."  
Ter sighed, chewing his lip. "Ben designed the place like a proper haunted house and the main party was out the back so we were going through the rooms looking at all the scenes he'd set up. One of the upstairs bedrooms was redone to look like an alien lab or something with an actor on one of the metal slabs and tied up, and another actor dressed as an alien poking and prodding him. Nicaise decided to be an ass and went along with it and the alien guy strapped him to the spare table, and started poking at him. Then cause they were both in latex suits the alien decided it'd be chill to unzip Nicky's to the waist and keep prodding his ribs. Then Nicaise lied about his age and was flirting with the alien so he decided to fuck Nicky up by pressing on the pressure points that basically act like a lightswitch for orgasm control. He got hard within a minute and- and pretty desperate," he said with a glance in Nicaise's direction. "If he gets randomly hard or close again he'll have to go to A&E cause he won't be able to stop."  
Laurent raised an eyebrow and Ter went on. "We left right after he was done - I didn't want him getting hard from getting scared or anything."   
Damen looked between them all. "That's probably smarter. Why'd you flirt with an alien anyway?"  
"He was in a nude latex suit I had to."  
Damen shook his head but headed for the fridge.  
"What are the chances of him needing to go to A&E?" Laurent asked and Ter frowned, probably doing the math in his head.  
"Forty/sixty, maybe. After the alien done it he would've came regardless of of he'd acted on it or not. And even though he didn't have a choice in whether or not it was gonna happen he still had a bit of muscle control left to hold it back long enough not to go into a panic attack at finishing first. So he shouldn't need A&E - maybe just a checkup tomorrow or Sunday."   
Laurent nodded. "Alright."  
Nicaise rolled his eyes and Ter chewed his lip as he moved across the room to sit next to him on the sofa. "I didn't think I'd say this," he murmured, but not quiet enough to shut Laurent and Damen out of the conversation. "But thank fuck for your training."  
Nicaise laughed tiredly and pulled Ter closer to the blanket nest.   
"How so?" Laurent asked and Ter looked over, knowing Laurent's tones by now.   
"I kinda told him to hold it until he'd gotten me off and then he only gave in once I told him he was allowed to... I guessed that guy would've trained him to do that but I needed to know he still had a bit of control left. And he probably would've felt shit if he'd finished that much earlier than me anyway."  
Laurent nodded and went back to making them all some tea. Ter cuddled up to Nicaise, the two of them getting comfy in the blanket nest on the sofa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs -  
> Sleepover- Hayley Kiyoko   
> Everything has changed- Taylor Swift   
> Centuries - Imagine Dragons  
> ET - Katy Perry


	12. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas and New Years come and go, and Nicaise learns he's healed some more without noticing it happening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for:  
> Underage oral   
> Underage horniness   
> Nicaise being.. Nicaise   
> References/ implications of past abuse

Nicaise groaned, shoving his textbooks and journals across the bes and resting his forehead on his arms.   
"What's the verdict?"   
"Law can go fuck itself," Nicaise groaned. Ter hummed and Nicaise looked over to him. Somehow the git had been studying for two hours and didn't even look tired yet.   
"You really need to work on your attention span," he muttered and Nicaise scoffed.   
"You really need to work on your hyperfocus."  
Ter shrugged and Nicaise groaned, rolling onto his back as he shoved his books further away. "It's fucking Christmas Eve why do we have to study anyway?"  
"Because there's tests the week we go back," Ter murmured and Nicaise made a noise in the back of his throat. He got up and made his way off the bed before he started tidying, gradually picking things up off the floor. Some things ended up in the laundry bag, some ended up in front of the closet. He went through the penthouse, slowly picking his things off the furniture and up from under the cushions. Laurent raised an eyebrow but didn't look up from his book, instead just handing over one of Nicaise's hoodies and pointing upstairs. When Nicaise went up he found a handful of his and Terry's tshirts on the landing and on door handles. He didn't bother asking when or how the fuck they got there - there was no point when Laurent had his nose in a good book.  
Back in his room he started hanging stuff up in the closet, putting his shoes away, putting the laundry bag through and emptying it in the basin to get done in the morning, going back to his room and putting it away in the closet.   
Slowly, he started clearing his counters and putting random books back on the shelves, his products back in line, his laptop, his comics - which at some point had became Ter's too -, his jewelry, his shoes, his collection of earplugs and lanyards Sky had always bought him. There were almost ten of each.   
He kicked Ter off the bed and stripped the covers, throwing them in a pile before fetching new sheets, changing the pillows and duvet before putting the old ones through in the laundry pile. When he went back through, Ter was sitting at their desk - when had it became theirs and not just Nicaise's? - reading and scribbling notes, pausing to highlight something and then repeating. Nicaise frowned, glancing out the window and then at his phone when he saw it was pitch black outside.  
"Terry, move," he said but didn't get a response.   
Sighing, Nicaise stripped and got changed into a pair of pajamas he knew Ter liked on him before making his way around to the guy. "It's almost three in the morning Terry. Come to bed."  
"I've only got two pages left, Nico."  
"You can do them when you wake up."  
"Or I could do them the now so I don't have to do them when we wake up."  
Nicaise sighed.  
"You need sleep."  
"I need to study."  
"Terry-,"  
"I'll come to bed when I finish this chapter, Nico."  
"You'll remember it better if you sleep in between learning sessions - and you fucking know it." When Ter didn't answer Nicaise nipped at his jaw. "I'll get you in that bed and relaxing one way or another, assface. It's up to you if we do it the easy way or the hard way."  
Ter weakly swatted at him and Nicaise groaned. "Fine then.  We'll do it the hard way." He gave Ter a few seconds to reply but when he didn't get a reaction Nicaise propped himself on the edge of the swivel chair and started kissing and licking up Ter's neck, threading one hand through his hair while the other moved down his chest and ran along the edge of his waistband before skating down and over his thigh. He knew where all of Ter's buttons and strings were and he knew how to push and pull them just right. Within ten seconds Ter was groaning and looking away from the books.  
"Nico- no fucking - fair- fuck." Nicaise smirked as Ter bucked under him, moving exactly how he wanted him to.   
"And you call me easy," he murmured as Ter's fingers moved into his hair to pull him closer against his collarbone. "The irony."  
"Oh shu'p," Ter muttered as he pushed out of the chair, pushing Nicaise back and landing on top of him on the bed in almost one motion. Nicaise laughed, not bothering to roll them over as Ter's hands traced down from his hair to his neck to his jaw to his collar.  
"Make me," he said and grinned when Ter groaned quietly and starting grinding against him.

...

A few hours later Nicaise rolled over, curling into Ter's side. When he opened his eyes the room was still dark but the clock beside his bed was rudely pointing out that it was 10:30am. Groaning, he looked up and smiled slightly when he saw Ter was still asleep. His smile quickly turned into a smirk when he shifted and noticed Ter was hard as a rock and twitching. With another glance up to see Ter was still sound asleep, Nicaise shuffled down the bed, keeping the blanket up at Ter's chest as he lay down on his belly and pulled Ter's waistbands down.  
Ter had already said Nicaise was allowed to suck him off when he was asleep if he really needed to - he'd said the idea of it was hot as fuck, especially if it woke him up. As far as Nicaise was concerned, there was no if about it.   
Gently, he slid Ter's cock into his mouth, sucking and licking lazily. Ter groaned, trying to roll over in his sleep but Nicaise trapped his hips flat against the mattress, pulling him closer so he could slide him down his throat. After a minute or so he felt Ter shift, starting to wake up. He groaned again, absently rolling his hips into Nicaise's mouth before he paused. When he done it again Nicaise knew he was awake. Like clockwork, his hands were in Nicaise's hair, tugging harshly at the roots. Nicaise pulled away, smirking when Ter whined, and pinned the guy's wrists to the bed before going back to his cock. Ter bucked underneath him and Nicaise could tell he was trying to but couldn't stop his hips from rolling the next few times. He was already throbbing in Nicaise's mouth and Nicaise smirked around him as he groaned lowly. Swearing, Ter came in his mouth a few seconds later, and Nicaise swallowed some before moving away and milking the rest across his face.  
When he was done, Nicaise crawled back up Ter's body to lie on his chest. "Mornin'," he murmured and Ter kissed him, not even grimacing are his own taste.   
"That's one way to wake me up," Ter breathed and Nicaise smiled slightly.  
"Merry Christmas, Terry."  
"Merry Christmas, Nico," he said as he pulled Nicaise in for another kiss.

...

Christmas passed with presents like designer jeans and new hoodies, pride flag shoes and decors, sentimental photos and tokens as well as the occasional joke. Auguste came over at the same time as Jokaste and Kastor with their son, and somehow they managed to get along well enough to agree on a movie to watch and then that dissolved into chatter and laughs and nonsense none of the adults would remember the next day.   
Nicaise had started falling asleep on the floor against the sofa, but startled awake when there was a muffled bang. Another followed a few seconds later. He didn't have to think to know what it was- the faint glow on the polished floor was answer enough.   
"Nico, breathe."   
Nicaise blinked and focused on Ter's face which was suddenly right in front of him, hands in his hair. "Breathe for me." One breath in, hold, one breath out. "Good. Now remember to make a noise when you do it, Nico. You know I like hearing you." Another in, hold, out. And another. And another.  
Once he'd gotten his breathing under control, he let Ter walk him through to the wetroom. Somehow they managed to spend half an hour in the cold water before Ter decided it had been long enough, and gotten Nicaise into bed with the blinds drawn, and held up his earplugs. With a weak smile, Nicaise took them and slid them in before turning his volume up loud enough to cancel out the explosions.   
They lay down under the blankets, facing away from the window, Nicaise curled up with his back against Ter's chest.  
Boxing day passed in movies and drawn blinds, then loud music and earplugs when night came.  
By new year's eve, Nicaise was proud of himself for not having a full panic attack over the fireworks or getting flashbacks. But he knew hogmanay was always diffrent- the sheer amount of police and blockers and fences up around the city below was proof of that.  
"You gonna be ok tonight?" Ter asked when he caught Nicaise watching the fences and baracades going into place outside.  
Nicaise shrugged.  "I'm not as worried as I was last year."  
"Good enough for me," Ter murmured and Nicaise felt himself smile a little. Maybe it would be good enough.  
Evening came and went with Laurent setting up the blackout option on the windows as best he could, and turning the stereos and record players up as loud as each of them would go. The neighbours probably hated them; it was the same every year. Then again, the neighbours usually went out to the displays or had parties so they could hardly talk.  
The Bells came in with Laurent and Damen snogging in the penthouse doorway while Nicaise stayed on Ter's lap, their chests together, keeping their breathing in time with each other. Or rather, Nicaise keeping his breaths in time with Ter's. They were sitting so Nicaise had his back to the floor to ceiling windows while Ter was facing them. The reflection and glow from the show in the city was obvious on the polished floor, less so than it would be if the windows were cleared but still enough to be distinguishable. Nicaise resolved to keeping his face tucked into Ter's neck, his eyes shut. With the way they were sitting, there was no way for Nicaise to try to hide how hard he was, but for once he didn't feel obligated to act on it. And if Ter's whispered praises and reassurances were anything to go by, that was a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> Last Christmas- wham  
> Fairytale of Newyork- the pogues  
> the climb - miley cyrus  
> Done - The Band Perry   
> Stronger - Kelly Clarkson  
> Auld lang sang - unknown


	13. The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BONUS CHAPTER FROM TER'S POV -  
> so this takes place in chapter 6 (February) the first time Nic and Ter try to go to third base, but it's from Ter's POV. All the same warnings and triggers apply.

Ter scrambled off of Nicaise as soon as the shorter boy started hyperventilating. He tugged on a pair of sweats at the same time as hurrying out the bedroom and up the hallway until he could see Laurent on one of the leather sofas. The blonde man looked over, sitting up before Ter said anything.  
"I think he's having a panic attack."  
The words were barely out of his mouth before Laurent was walking past Ter and towards the bedroom doors.  
"What happened?"  
"He was ok and then I tried to hold his hips down so he'd stop grinding for a minute cause I didn't want him thinking he was ok with me touching his ass at the same time just cause he could distract himself with that instead and then he froze, but he safeworded so we figured out where that line was and he was talking alright, then he started crying but his voice didn't change then I tried to touch his face and he kinda stuttered then his breathing went haywire."  
Laurent nodded, pushing the doors open and hurrying over to where Nicaise had curled himself into a ball on the bed.  
Ter stayed standing against the wall while Laurent put his hand on Nicaise's back.  
"Nuca."  
Nicaise gagged and Laurent swore. "Go round that side of him and rub his back in clockwise circles," the man said and Ter hurried to do as told. Once he was rubbing Nicaise's back, Laurent knelt so he could see the boy's face.  
"Nuca!"  
Nicaise jolted and Ter forced himself not to jump. He kept his hand moving in gentle circles on Nicaise's back while Laurent got him to breathe again.  
After Nicaise had calmed down enough to curl into Ter's side and pass out, Ter looked up at Laurent.  
"Is he gonna be ok now?" he asked quietly and the man sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching Nicaise carefully.  
"He might have a nightmare. If he does, come get me again but don't try to wake him up. He usually goes into panic attacks while he's still asleep so it'll be a lot worse when he wakes up."  
"Alright," Ter said quietly. He carded his fingers through Nicaise's hair gently. "Was that less of a panic attack than you were expecting?" he asked after a few seconds and Laurent sighed quietly.  
"Yes and no."  
Ter looked over, confused, and Laurent explained. "When he used to sleep around, he wouldn't let himself go into a full panic attack, he would always fight it off. That meant he lost track of time a lot easier and he tended to drink a lot more or get higher than he could cope with to compensate. But when I went to pick him up or he finally got home, he would completely break down - all of the panic attacks he had put off hit him at once. For a few months it was almost normal to have him borderline catatonic. He blacked out a lot, threw up to the point I was worried he'd bring up blood, wetting himself if it was a really bad one, passing out from hyperventilating... he was a mess."  
Ter looked back to Nicaise's sleeping form as Laurent kept talking.  
"At the start of last year, he got clean. He only slept with Sky, and she wasn't interested in fucking him or getting majorly involved with other guys so that was alright. He's only gone catatonic a handful of times since then. But I wasn't sure what to expect with yous tonight - half of me expected him to completely break down or try to hold it back but end up making it worse. The other half kind of wanted him to let it happen."  
"Did he?" Ter asked quietly and Laurent nodded slowly.  
"He did. He also got it under control a lot sooner than I'd thought he would. I used to spend hours calming him down."  
"Why did you kind of want him to let one happen?"  
Laurent was silent for a few seconds before he looked Ter in the eye.  
"Because he only lets one happen when he feels safe. Sometimes they sneak up on him but for the most part he gets enough warning to choose whether to have it or to put it off. He only lets one happen when he trusts who he's with."  
Ter gulped, suddenly warmer. He looked back at Nicaise as the smaller boy curled himself tighter against Ter's side.  
"Thank you," Ter said quietly, looking back up at Laurent. The man nodded at him before standing up. Ter chewed his lip. "How come me touching his hip set him off this time even though I've touched his hip before and he's been fine?"  
Laurent paused in the doorway, looking back at them both.  
"The guy used to hold his hips down so he couldn't get away," he said quietly, barely a whisper. "But he never touched them in a comforting way. When you held his hips down to stop him grinding you probably had your hand in the same position and that would've been enough of a trigger for him - especially if you were touching his ass at the same time."  
Ter nodded, looking back at Nicaise while Laurent went back up the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I write more Bonuses from Ter's POV?


End file.
